Smart. Sharp. Funny. Fearless.
Saturday, March 25, 2017
Photo: Gage Skidmore via Flickr
Photo: Gage Skidmore via Flickr

Floating your name as a potential presidential candidate has always been a good way to get attention in Washington, DC. But recently, politicians like Newt Gingrich and Herman Cain have turned seeking the White House as a vehicle to make a quick buck into an art form.

Plenty of implausible candidates have already suggested that they may run in 2016. Most are just looking for attention, or a quick fundraising boost. Some will pursue their longshot bids all the way to the (hopefully musical) end. But none have a prayer of actually reaching the Oval Office.

Here are the five fakest 2016 presidential candidates, so far:

Click here for reuse options!
Copyright 2014 The National Memo

29 Responses to The 5 Fakest 2016 Presidential Contenders

  1. I’d be very surprised if any of the wannabees here get very far in the vetting process. It’s clearly a list of losers.

      • It’s comments like that which prove just how mentally deficient you really are. Anyone with 1/2 a brain (which since you have less than that lets you out), can remember easily the battle Obama had beating out Hillary for the nomination IN A NUMBER OF VETTING PRIMARIES!!! And then of course, once you’re elected vetting has already been done!!!!!!

  2. I disagree with most Republican political proposals, but I don’t think they are stupid. None of the people highlighted in this article have a chance to winning the GOP nomination in 2016. In fact, even luminaries like Cruz and Rubio are likely to become mere distractions in months to come. The GOP will nominate a solid conservative, with relevant experience, and a clean record. The organizations and folks that pull the strings will also make sure they don’t nominate another elitist or someone prone to 47% comments.

  3. Allen WEST needs to face the charges for murder from when he was in the military and allowed to resign to keep it quiet. LT calley in viet Nam and numerous times since troops have faced criminal charges for a lot less than the multiple murders he was responsible for.

    • His getting an appointment from President Obama for ANY political position (except maybe Ambassador to Tajikistan?) are even slimmer than his chances of getting on the BALLOT for President.

    • Almost all of these ultra-ultra-ultra conservatives have many screws loose but Allan West is absolutely crazy! And the other black Republican Alan…Alan Keyes is beyond crazy-he belongs in a nuthouse on thorazine.

  4. Ohhh…Fake Presidential Candidates…hmm…they seem be ahhh, ummm, Fake people…or “a loyal plastic robot in a world that doesn’t care…” rest in peace Frank….

  5. What about Joe Biden? The people on the list are making money by talking. They wouldn’t want to ruin that opportunity by being President.

  6. You get to love republicans. They lost 2 elections consecutively without thinking afterwads what they have to do or which person to promote, so that they can win the coming election. Instead they decided to go rogue and centred their attacks on the President and the woman they think will be the next Dem Candidate. Is this the winning strategy? Really!

  7. Trump and Palin… Trump wears something dead on his head and Palin has something dead between her ears. For comedic relief I’d love to see these two on the RepuliCON ticket. A vapid idiot paired with… a vapid idiot.

  8. This article is accurate. But you missed one fake candidate – Ted Cruz. Cruz is a Canadian-Cuban. Ted was born in Canada to a Cuban father. To qualify for the WH job, you have to be born in US or on US military base. Unless the constitution is changed, Ted is out. How can you vote for Herman Cain who was almost thrown out of his house by his wife? Cain labeled us Blacks as brain-washed. That means his own wife is brainwashed. I don’t know too much about Pataki, so I won’t talk about. Now you did it when you mentioned Allen West. This guy wants us Blacks back to the plantation as slaves. How on earth can be dream Blacks to vote for him? We are not that dumb to vote for somebody who wants us as slaves. Don Trump is fake. How can he run for presidency when the job pays just $400,000 a year? The guy is a millionaire. The worst part is that he loves to be near beauties. He will be starved of contacts with beautiful women. I doubt if Trump knows foreign affairs – other than saying that he would devalue the $$ to Chinese currency. Sarah Palin is too old now. She was hot in 2008, but she look really done -wrinkles, sagging skin. She is also violent – recently her family was involved in a tavern fight. She tried to apologize, but it did not work. Michele Bachmann is done. Her husband is jealous. He does want to see her hanging around with other males. Dr. Carson will get votes only from TPs and Repubs. Carson thinks is White and rich. So he does not want to be seen with Blacks. I am not going to vote for a candidate who does not want Blacks around him. Marco Rubio is unfit for the WH job because he hates Latinos. So no Latinos and Blacks will vote for him. Then we are left with Santorum. The problem with Santorum is that he wants to be an American little pope. Jindal is smart, but he is too ugly. Americans like good looking presidents. Chris Christie is too fat for the job. The WH copter won’t life him. You remember one time when he had asthma attack. The regular Medflight could not lift him. NJ people had to rent a military copter. As a whole the whole GOP or TP WH line-up is fake. We may as well end up with Hillary of Joe Biden as only candidates in 2016.

    • I don’t like Ted Cruz either, but not because of his birth. Actually, the Constitution says only that the President must be a BORN CITIZEN, not born IN the United States. Since his mother was an American citizen at his birth (and a natural born citizen as well), this qualifies him (legally) to run, regardless of his father being a naturalized citizen and his birth being outside the U.S.

      However, I find the irony quite funny, that the same people who say THIS President is unfit, and have to MAKE UP phony evidence to counteract the public record (really, a time machine to plant a fake birth announcement in a 1961 newspaper?), the same fact that the “birthers” CLAIM makes Obama a non-citizen, place of birth, is KNOWN to be true of Ted Cruz, but they would ignore it.

      Once we elect the next President of either party, why not amend the Constitution so that a LONG TERM naturalized citizen qualifies? This would have qualified Kissinger and Albright, and if it removes the issue for future candidates, how about Ted Cruz or Ahnold S. against Huffington? Then there will be no “birther” nonsense on either side to discuss, and we can concentrate on how selfish and stupid Cruz really is.

      • What -Since his mother was an American citizen at his birth (and a natural born citizen as well), this qualifies Cruz (legally) to run. No. Cruz to qualify should has to be born in US or on US military base like John McCain. You remember how Repubs and TPs gave problem to Obama. Obama’s mother was a natural born citizen. But Courts wanted proof that he was norn in one of US states. That is why lawyers had to go Hawaii for proof. Cruz is not eligible for the WH job.

        • First of all, it was not “courts” who objected, it was his POLITICAL ENEMIES abusing the legal process. Once the lawsuits were IN court, the courts had to hear them, but if you read the Constitution, it only uses the generic phrase “natural born citizen” rather than making any additional qualifications. The “birthers,” who are FANATICS, not reasonable concerned citizens, used their imagination to MAKE UP additional conditions, including one that would have required both parents to be OVER 30 when he was born! None of this was ever an issue with any prior Presidents, except the “Chester Arthur birthers” who claimed he was born a mile over the Canadian border and had no real influence on public opinion.

          For general Immigration and Naturalization Services processing, a child with EITHER birth parent a U.S. citizen at the time of birth is treated as a natural born citizen; GI children in Vietnam, for example, were never even questioned as being natural born citizens. And the Constitution does NOT mention any “super-citizen” qualifications other than being born a citizen rather than naturalized. So in theory, any of these “GI babies” from Vietnam (or, later, Iraq, Kuwait, or Afghanistan) could, at the age of 35, decide to run for President.

          By the way, I have not researched specific names and bios, but during the 19th century, there were so many new territories being acquired, and turned into states that there must have been a few candidates who were born in foreign lands which were LATER ACQUIRED by the U.S. and EVEN LATER became states. I remember a bit of JOKING (not meant seriously) about the fact that Sen. Barry Goldwater was born in the Arizona TERRITORY before its admission to the Union (in 1912). Some candidates may have been born in Texas before 1845 (Texas was a foreign country of its own before that, and part of Mexico before that), or in one of the formerly Mexican states before they became American land in 1848.

          In summary, the only reason for the birther nonsense is as a plausibly legal EXCUSE for the real objection: “we don’t want no N____ in the White House!” Ted Cruz doesn’t have that problem, and besides he’s on the “right” side of the aisle, so who cares about his birth?

          Now that we are the most powerful nation in the world, and no longer the fragile ex-British colony every baron and count in Europe would love to take back, I believe we ought to amend out that “born citizen” phrase and allow anyone who has been a U.S. citizen and continuous resident for a minimum amount of time to run for President. That way, we can concentrate on the actual ISSUES and not on Obama’s made-up birthplace or Ted Cruz’ multiple nationalities (not to mention Michelle Bachman’s Swiss citizenship by marriage). How about Kissinger vs Albright, the battle of the ex-Secretaries of State?

          • Did you say- Ted Cruz doesn’t have that problem before as US citizen? Yes he does. Recently he filed papers to renounce his Cuban and Canadian citizenship. The papers are still with immigration office – not approved for Ted to have green-card. Then he has to apply to be naturalized. And you want such a person to live in the WH house? No. Ted Cruz is an alien. That is why Ted Cruz has been trying to hurt this country economically and politically. He caused government shut down-giving ideas to terrorist to attack this country. Ted is Cruz and Crook. He should be tried for treason.

    • Crazy Cruz’s mother is a U.S. citizen. That makes him a natural born U.S. citizen thereby making him eligible to be POTUS. Same with Obama. God forbid that Cruz should be nominated but he is still eligible. We learned that in junior high school. Did you miss school that day?

      • You’re the one who missed your class. Do you remember John McCain eligibility for the WH job was questioned because he was born in Panama to both American parents? Republicans had to make sure he was eligible. Now you’re lying to people Cruz is eligible just because his
        mother was American. You have to be born in US or on US military base. Cruz is out. I will be the first to file lawsuit in court to disqualify Cruz.

  9. This could be called the back bench of the GOP should everyone else fail. If you don’t live in the tri state area of NY, NJ and Conn. you might not even know who Pataki is .Cain failed miserably on anything outside America, and West tries to pretend that racism and poor people don’t exist. Trump’s ego wouldn’t even fit into the White house, and Carly is stumping for candidates that don’t even come close to supporting women’s issues, so she will be tied to everything they say if they are elected. Of course for levity we can always talk about Palin who made a speech about getting the guy out of 1400 Pennsylvania ave, and Bachman calling all Muslims terrorists, or Huckabee’s comment about uncle sugar. What he really meant by that is his residents who take more federal aid than most states because of republican policies on the state level.

  10. In many ways it seems like a repeat of the GOP’s last deplorable, presidential potentials. The hits keep on coming from that sorry excuse of a party not worthy of our support.

Leave a reply