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Saturday, December 10, 2016

“You inspire me.”

Those tender words were spoken to Senator Marco Rubio (R-FL) by Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) on the Senate floor last week, the same Ted Cruz who jabbered for more than 21 straight hours, infuriating leaders of his own party and edifying his national image as an egomaniacal crackpot.

Nobody outside of Texas likes Cruz except the Tea Party troglodytes to whom he panders.

“You inspire me,” the buffoon cooed to Rubio, a future foe in the 2016 race for the White House.

At which moment Democratic campaign strategists surely fell to their knees whispering, “Thank you, God. This is too good to be true.”

The Cruz-Rubio bromance played out on C-SPAN in the wee morning hours last Wednesday during Cruz’s marathon tirade against Obamacare. Florida’s junior senator popped up like a blow-dried gopher to speak for almost an hour and give Cruz a break.

Rubio’s appearance was another calculated suck-up to the right-wingers who scorned him during the immigration debate. Days earlier he had backstabbed Miami-Dade Circuit Judge William Thomas, a gay African-American, by abruptly withdrawing his support for Thomas’ nomination to the federal bench.

Rubio claimed he’d changed his mind about Thomas’ “fitness” because of concerns about the handling of a DUI case and a rape case — though even the prosecutor in the rape case said the judge had followed the rules. (Rubio’s vast credentials in criminal trial procedure consist of an unused law degree).

By aligning himself with Cruz, whose self-styled filibuster epitomizes the partisan paralysis in Washington, Rubio further diminished himself in the eyes of moderate Republicans who yearn for a fresh and principled voice.

Ironically, the potential rival who benefits most from Rubio’s naked groveling is his mentor, Jeb Bush. Although he hasn’t announced whether or not he’s running in 2016, Bush is smart enough to watch the unfolding Republican train wreck and know that none of the current lightweights has a chance of beating Hillary Clinton.

The batty Cruz is being seriously discussed as a frontrunner based on his hijacking the Senate floor and saying, among other things, that accepting Obamacare — a law passed by Congress — is tantamount to placating the Nazis in Germany.

In another burst of bloated vanity, Cruz compared his mission to defund healthcare reform with John F. Kennedy’s vow to put a man on the moon. Having plenty of time to kill, Cruz also read to his kids from a Dr. Seuss book.

It was the only memorable thing to come out of his mouth in 1,279 minutes.