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Friday, August 26, 2016

How Hillary Clinton Became A Hated Yankees Fan

In my view, God invented baseball to provide a sanctuary from the fallen world of politics. I believe I’ve missed two televised Red Sox games this year. To me, the seven month major league season is the sporting equivalent of, say, Downton Abbeya complex, seemingly endless narrative filled with surprising events and unforgettable characters.

My earliest specific baseball memory is racing into the bathroom where the old man was shaving to tell him that the Giants’ Bobby Thompson had hit a miraculous ninth inning home run to defeat the Brooklyn Dodgers in a one game playoff. At first, Dad thought I’d imagined it.…

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A Beginner’s Guide To Trump-ese

No one can deny that Donald Trump has a way with words—maybe not a way that is elegant or well informed, but one that is undoubtedly all his own.

The GOP candidate has leaned on a staggering number of buzzwords throughout his campaign, imbuing established terms with coded or even opposite meanings. In special cases, he’s even coined brand new phrases. It can be dizzying to wrap your head around this curious new dialect, so we at The National Memo compiled this handy dictionary of basic Trumpese to help you figure out what The Donald is really talking about:

 

America (noun) – a nation in the Western Hemisphere that used to be really great back before streetcars and universal suffrage were invented

 

Bald (adjective) – having little or no hair*

*(Editor’s note: This entry has been deemed unnecessary and deleted by official Trumpese linguists, who also request that you continue scrolling down and do not return to this particular definition.)

 

Bankruptcy (noun) – a clever financial tactic by which a very handsome businessman gathers up his failures and makes them someone else’s problem

 

Bigly 1.…

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