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Thursday, December 14, 2017

Imagining A More Honest Olympics Opening Ceremony

The 2016 Olympic Games are set to begin today in Rio de Janeiro, but the event is already mired in controversy and a sense of impending doom.

Tonight’s Opening Ceremony will no doubt be gushing with overblown displays of optimism, but what if we were to envision an alternate version, a pageant that addresses all the disasters that Rio is juggling?

Here’s a peek at how it would all play out:

  • The festivities kick off with an announcement over the loudspeaker that attending the four-hour ceremony may be unsafe for pregnant women, small children, or anyone who drinks water.
  • Protesters outside Maracanã Stadium quietly disperse while under fire of nonlethal bullets, made from shredded Brazilian reales.


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