I am about to give up, dear readers! No sooner did I finish a couple of recent columns that dealt with silly Internet rumors and lies about Social Security, when I opened my email and found three more!
Q: I am forwarding something I found on the Internet. You’ll see that it proves the Social Security Administration is helping to hide the true identity of Barack Obama. They were involved in preparing a false birth certificate, and assigned three different Social Security numbers that have been used throughout his lifetime. What do you know about this?
A. OK, I’ll fess up.
Shortly after I was hired by the Social Security Administration (SSA), I was assigned to a secret task force, along with representatives of other government agencies. We were sent to Africa to hand pick a Kenyan baby. We snuck him off to Hawaii and set him up with a phony family. For years, we groomed him to become president of the United States — and eventually the socialist leader of the world.
We made only one mistake. We gave him a foreign-sounding name: Barack Hussein Obama. We should have called him John Wayne Smith, or something more American! And now you’re onto us!
Of course, this stupid Internet rumor is sad and pathetic. And I might be laughing it off as a joke if I didn’t get emails about this from nearly 10 people, half of whom said they’re inclined to believe it. Get real, people! And get a life!