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Sunday, December 4, 2016

Poor Mitt Romney.

The Republican presidential candidate has changed everything but his gender to appease his new best friends on the far right.

He used to be pro-choice; now he’s anti-choice.

He used to support gay rights, but now he’s against those, too.

He’s also against the health care plan he signed into law when he was governor of Massachusetts. Which means Mitt Romney opposes even Mitt Romney.

And what does he get for all his Gumby-with-great-hair flexibility? Seriously upstaged by a pontificating pooh-bear named Newt, who is leading in every poll that includes the word “Romney.”

This is what happens when your values are more elastic than the waistband in a pair of Haggar Work to Weekend pants. Nobody who has to squirm into that stretch looks good in it.

When it comes to keeping up with the ever-changing landscape of Romney’s core values, most of the coverage has focused on his switch on abortion rights and health care. He did, after all, insist in 1994 that he supported abortion rights just as his mother did when she ran for the Senate in 1973. And he used to champion the same health care reform he now opposes. I mentioned that, right?