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Wednesday, March 20, 2019

As the old saying goes, politics makes strange bedfellows. But no political alliance today is as strange or frightening as that between Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump. With a mutual distaste for NATO, at least one shared political consultant, and huge amounts of Russian money poured into Trump’s businesses, their destinies are undoubtedly intertwined.

To top it off, there is considerable evidence that Russian hackers under Putin’s command carried out the DNC Wikileaks dump in an attempt to discredit Hillary Clinton.

Trump and Putin may very well be closer than anyone would like to think. Could they be texting each other to plan out their world domination… right now?!

 

[Monday, July 25, 3:03am EST]

DT: Hey. U up?

VP: Yes, Donald. I’m in different time zone. It is 10 in the morning here.

DT: Ah, I get it. You put your country closer to the sun to get more work done. Very smart—reminds me of something I would do.

VP: Indeed… is Manafort w/ you?

DT: He sleeps out in the kennel.

VP: Tell him I miss him when you get a chance. We should all get together in Ukraine really soon.

DT: Idk, Vlad. I think NATO might have something to say about that!

VP: LOL!!! U R 2 much.

DT: I’m dropping truth bombs like you are in Syria!

VP: Omg, stop it. I literally just blew vodka out my nose laughing.

DT: What can I say, I’m a funny guy. The funniest guy.

VP: Maybe the funniest president?

DT: As if #CrookedHillary has a chance… Btw — thanks again for the leak. Huge!

VP: It was my pleasure to take down the villainous Debbie Wasserman Schultz. I say never trust a woman with two last names. She’s almost as bad as Pussy Riot.

DT: 2 bad she quit. I would’ve fired her! U think anyone knows you guys are behind it?

VP: Some reporter got in contact with one of the hackers. He told him he was Romanian.

DT: Nice choice. Now the loser Democrats will think the vampires are behind it.

VP: I like you, Donald. You are strong leader. We should wrestle sometime!

DT: Yeah okay, just don’t mess up my hair.

VP: And could you do me a solid and make sure you pay back my friends? Some investors are getting nervous.

DT: They’ll get their $$$. They made a deal with me, and I make the best deals. The best. Therefore, they made the best deal. Besides, the Mexicans will pay for everything.

VP: Thx Don. Let’s Make Russia Great Again!

DT: It’s “America.”

VP: Oops, autocorrect.

 

Photo: Republican U.S. presidential nominee Donald Trump gives two thumbs up as he stands in the Trump family box with his daughter Ivanka (R) awaiting the arrival onstage of his son Eric at the conclusion of former rival candidate Senator Ted Cruz’s address during the third night at the Republican National Convention in Cleveland, Ohio, July 20, 2016. REUTERS/Aaron P. Bernstein

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11 responses to “EXCLUSIVE: A Late-Night Text Conversation Between Putin and Trump”

  1. That is hilarious, and oddly something that a possible Donald/Vladimir conversation would be like–flimsy and sophomoric, as though they are the only ones of importance in the world.

    • FireBaron says:

      Wait, you mean Vladimir Vladimirovich, Tsar of All Russias, is NOT the most important man in the world? You mean Teflon Donnie is NOT the most important man in the world? Oh, the humanity! Oh, the horror!

    • Dan S says:

      Thanks Otto, that’s actually real funny. The ring is the only place where Donnie could prevail just not at the ballot box in November

    • JPHALL says:

      Another fake video from the right wing. It is similar to Trump’s visit to the WWF, and the only way Trump can win.

  2. nobaddog says:

    Your readers are posting links to this as fact. Dimwits!

  3. yabbed says:

    That’s funny in a creepy kind of way, sort of like the sexual way Trump puts his hands and eyes on his daughter, Ivanka. There is no question that Putin knows he has a total dupe in Donald Trump. The very idea of putting the United States of America in the hands of that know nothing batshit crazy Donald Trump is an national insult. We look a laughing stock to the entire world.

  4. Jim Samaras says:

    What would be the problem with a mutually beneficial deal with Russia? If we were to get together and crush ISIS would that be so bad? Are we certain that what we’ve been told for 70 years is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth about Russia? Or is it possible that Russia was the most convenient boogieman to keep our war (money) machine going?

    • Joan says:

      Few ” deals” with Russia are ” mutually beneficial” We share one interest with Russia, the defeat of ISIL in Syria. Other than that, are interests are opposite rather than aligned. The enemy of your enemy is not necessarily or even usually your friend.

      • Jim Samaras says:

        I’d like to hear how our interests are opposite really. We are all human beings are we not? The democratic platform is inclusiveness is it not? I’m sure the Russian people want the best for their kids just like we do. My point was just what you stated, that we’ve been told that their interests are different than ours. The one issue we do have in common as you say is SAFETY. What if we’re not THAT far apart?

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