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Sunday, December 4, 2016

When a drug addict gives himself an intervention, it usually goes like this: “Okay, I’m totally quitting after this next hit.” And you know what happens next.

A real intervention — like the ones we enjoy on reality TV — involves the people who care about the addict getting together with a professional to force a “bottom” with consequences if the addict will not seek help immediately. The real problem for the GOP is that the only people interested in intervening are also on the junk.

Let’s be honest: The GOP isn’t even at its bottom.

That was 2008.

They lost the presidency and became a nearly insignificant minority in the House and the Senate after the late Senator Arlen Specter (D-PA) switched parties. Then, in a mere two years, they won back the House and nearly the Senate. And that victory only fueled their delusion.

Republicans thought they won because people were rejecting “big government,” though they’d also savaged the president for cutting Medicare. But in November of 2010, the unemployment rate was 9.6 percent and rising. What Americans were really rejecting was the lingering aftermath of the Bush-era financial crisis — a disaster that King Midas couldn’t have fixed quickly enough.

Still, the GOP took their landslide victory as a sign that their ideas/addiction were working. They just needed to double down, veer to the right, defund Planned Parenthood, demand women have unnecessary ultrasounds, deregulate Wall Street again and repeal Obamacare three dozen times.

And if they were going to nominate an “electable” candidate for president in 2012, they were going to damned well make sure he’d adopted all of their most extreme views before they let him out into the general election.

Now, after the “electable” guy has lost, they attack him for making an excuse that is—like what Republican Senate candidate Richard Mourdock said about pregnancies from rape being a “gift”—the party line inartfully conveyed.

Yes, Mitt Romney said that President Obama only won because he’d been generous with “gifts” to his constituency. What else was Mitt going to tell his donors? “I hired smug fools who only told me I what I wanted to hear”?

Since Mitt made that sneering comment, GOP presidential frontrunners for 2016 have lined up for their chance to whack him.

But the more “serious” thinkers in the GOP aren’t just distancing themselves from Mitt Romney, they’re digging a little deeper.

“The ground game is really important, and we have to be, I mean we’ve got to give our political organizational activity a very serious… proctology exam,” former Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour said, during a panel at the Republican Governors Association. “We need to look everywhere.”

LOL.

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