Smart. Sharp. Funny. Fearless.
Thursday, October 27, 2016

Say what you will about Fox “News,” but they sure do know how to party! While the rest of us Philistines were ringing in the New Year with music, laughter and good cheer, Fox viewers were treated to the ultimate in entertainment: Five gloriously uncomfortable, pointless and excruciatingly dull minutes of cornpone yee-haws from Duck Dynasty.

Hosts Bill Hemmer and Elisabeth Hasselbeck, looking like Igloo Ken and Barbie in the New York City cold, were ecstatic to be given the honor of speaking with their redneck guests, Will Robertson and his wife Korie, who appeared to be attending a decidedly unredneck party—not surprising, given that they’re not actually rednecks.

“We’re thankful that they actually decided to share New Year’s with us!” gushed Igloo Barbie, as if Fox had fought a duel to the death with potential suitors and emerged the unlikely victor. And the interview was as hard-hitting as you’d imagine. What’s next for the Robertson clan, Will?

“It’s a new year, so we’re ready to break in a new year and start it all over again,” came the unintelligible, meaningless response from the camo-clad pseudo-redneck. This was followed by several minutes of fixed smiles, exaggerated aw-shucks, good-ole-boy, y’all-speak and repetitive variations of “there will be a new season of Duck Dynasty on A&E,” as Ken and Barbie attempted to pretend this was an exclusive—and indeed the first time the subject had ever been discussed on national television because the librul lamestream media has muzzled the godly Robertsons and denied their freedom of speech all this time!!

But the money shot comes when the Igloo twins go for the big scoop: “Willie, what’s your father [the controversial Phil] doing tonight?” and Jethro goes rogue: “Uh, I reckon he’s asleep…” Wife Korie quickly and awkwardly steers him back on script with a classic, panicked side-eye, and you can practically feel the kick in the shin: “Er… he’s probably watching Fox News!!” Hubby dutifully remembers on which side his bread is buttered, and sheepishly backtracks.

If you only watch one thing today, make it this. No, really. Do it.

Photo of the real Willie Robertson: Daily Kos

Click here for reuse options!
Copyright 2014 The National Memo
  • FT66

    Oh! ya, that was Fox News at its best. Record noise from the Party and let people listen and enjoy noise. To be frank I didn’t hear a single word of what the redneck guests said. I heard just noise from the Party and didn’t like it.

  • itsfun

    How about NBC making fun of World War II veterans?

    • awakenaustin

      Really? A guest host comedienne makes a joke which is poor taste and it wasn’t funny. Almost all comedy is in poor taste. Some is funny and some isn’t. This is your counterpoint. It is incredibly underwhelming.

      • itsfun

        Now I understand, if a liberal mocks people, or calls them terrible names, or slanders them, its just a attempt at a joke, but if a conservative makes the same joke, they should be fired, accused of being racist and whatever else a liberal can think of to call them.

        • awakenaustin

          So is it your position that Phil Robertson was joking?
          Or, is it your position that the comedienne was actually stating a deep-seated belief she held about Pearl Harbor vets and was not just making a bad joke?

          (An aside – Frankly, I didn’t give a whit whether that ignorant bigot Phil Robertson was fired. Ignorant bigots need to eat, too. Of course, it is also a possibility that his imbroglio was a put up job to boost ratings and sell more merchandise to the supporters of ignorant bigots. It is just the sort of foolishness they would fall for. I mean, after all they watch FOX and think it presents news.)

          I think bad jokes are bad jokes regardless of who is making them. I think I am already on record as thinking her joke was in poor taste and unfunny to boot, so obviously I am not saying what you are pretending I am saying.
          I think your efforts to start an argument by pursuing this obviously vacuous line of pretended indignation is also a bad joke.
          You once more have overstated matters by saying, “now I understand.” You have demonstrated by this comment and your previous comments on other matters that you understand very little.

          • itsfun

            I don’t recall ever saying one word about Phil Robertson.

          • DennisRL

            Oh come on itsfun. It’s so much easier to make fun of the goofy right. I mean everything they say is laughable. Even when they’re trying to be serious or, as in fox new’s case, trying to report the ‘news’. fox news has now become a caricature of itself, where nobody but the looney tunes on the far right believe anything they have to say.

          • itsfun

            After listening to Obama’s outright lies and his not knowing about anything until he reads it in the paper, you are calling the folks on the right looney tunes. Isn’t Fox news the number one rated news show? Do you think anyone actually believes anything out of Obama’s mouth? He absolutely has no credibility with world leaders.

          • Allan Richardson

            H. L. Mencken would have known what makes Fox the number one rated show: “No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.”

          • DennisRL

            That’s the scary part. That fox is being listened to by so many gullible people who think they are hearing the truth when it’s just propaganda. The people on fox aren’t concerned with telling you the truth. They’re only concerned with making money. To paraphrase what I think was Sean Hannity saying in an offhand remark when he thought that no one was listening that would repeat what he would say: ‘you think I believe the stuff I’m saying. No, it’s what I get paid to say.’ That’s the real shame of an organization like fox. It demonizes someone like Obama so that people like you can never believe anything he says. Do I think he’s a great president? No, but I do believe he has the american people’s best interest at heart and is trying to do the right thing. But because of fox, he comes across as the devil incarnate instead of just being someone who is in over his head in the job he is doing. If the republicans were interested in doing what’s best for this country instead of sabotaging Obama, he might actually be able to do a half way decent job. You see, itsfun, that’s the difference between me and you. I’m able to decipher reality from the hype and propaganda and you’re not.

          • itsfun

            Lets talk reality: If you like your doctor you can keep your doctor – period. If you like your insurance plan you can keep your plan – period. More reality: Obama knows nothing about the IRS targeting conservative groups. Obama knows nothing about fast and furious. Obama knows nothing about spying on AP reporters. Obama knows nothing about Benghazi, heck no one even knows where he was.
            I don’t watch any of the political talk shows. I do watch FOX in the mornings. Several times I have seen discussions where they have a liberal and a conservative both. That way you can see both sides of an issue. I personally think being able to hear both sides is the best way.
            I don’t like Obama as a President. In the past I always said I thought he would be good guy to have a beer with and watch sports on TV. Just didn’t think he was a good president. Now I can’t say I would even like to watch a ball game with him.. His outright lying to every American about health care destroyed any respect I had for him as a man.

          • awakenaustin

            Apparently you live in a context-free universe as well as a fact-free universe.

        • BillP

          Are you claiming that Natasha Leggero is a liberal. I haven’t seen anything that has labeled her as any type of political belief, liberal, conservative or anything else. So if you weren’t talking about Phil Robertson then who were you referring to as the conservative who makes the same type of joke and people want fired? You seem to be making a specific reference to some conservative so who are you using as an example?

  • Bill Mohon

    “Weirdo-Hicks” on a “Whacko” Network!

  • ayungclas

    Sorry, I couldn’t watch.

    • Dee

      I wasn’t able to go further then 3 minutes they grate ion my nerves like a chalkboard~

  • James Carr

    what I don’t know what people see in this show DUCK DYNASTY the show is abouth a bunch of back woods guys insulting one anuther this is proof of the dumb downing of America.

    • moose

      dumbing down, perhaps? ironic

      • Allan Richardson

        “Dumb downing” does have a Spoonerish lilt to it though. And we thought they couldn’t get more dumbed down than Honey Boo Boo. The only thing funnier than her is the distinguished Representative Paul Broun speaking on Faux or CSPAN. Broun makes Honey Boo Boo ashamed of being from Georgia.

  • JDavidS

    Jeezus…what an embarrassingly clueless couple… And Will and Korie weren’t much better.

  • howa4x

    With all the problems in the world why are they even news?

  • Jane Caspar

    Super vapidity. Someone should have given them a script with a few suggested pithy? witty? remarks.

  • jointerjohn

    Based on the interview it appears that Willie now goes everywhere in his character costume, even on his own time. Probably a response to the Daily Kos having outed him as a phony. That’s a little sad, kind of like eighty year old Clayton Moore going around in his Lone Ranger outfit some years ago.

    I’m waiting for the Robertsons, with all their pious Christianity, to show the world how they have exercised that Christian love with some nice charitable donations from their overnight largess. These kinds of Christians like to meddle in other people’s business and speculate on what is happening in other people’s bedrooms, but when it is time to give they get very quiet.

    • mikem42

      Hey J.J. I’m old enough to remember Clayton Moore, and loved the Lone Ranger as a boy. It was indeed sad to see Mr. Moore continue all those years later, but he just couldn’t move on, knowing his character was beloved, but needed to be retired. Tks for the memories!

  • GeeTwoSix

    Since plunder stalls progress, it leads to even more demands to redistribute even more wealth, thus accelerating the downward spiral.