Tag: cold open
SNL Cold Open:  ‘It’s A Wonderful Trump’ (Where He’s Not President)

SNL Cold Open: ‘It’s A Wonderful Trump’ (Where He’s Not President)

For Christmas the Saturday Night Live producers have given us a fresh cold open, starring Alec Baldwin as the title character in It’s A Wonderful Trump. 

As the president stands on a snowy balcony wishing that he had never won office, an angel (Kenan Thompson) appears. But unlike the original 1947 movie script, the angel’s job is to show Trump just how much happier everyone around him — from a prosperous Sarah Huckabee Sanders (Aidy Bryant) to a healthy Kellyanne Conway (Kate McKinnon) would be if he had indeed lost to Hillary Clinton.

At a Christmas party he encounters Michael Cohen (Ben Stiller), who tells him, “You’re my best friend. You taught me everything I know.” Melania has divorced him and remarried Papa John, but Trump has a new spouse named “Hernia” — a “suitcase girl” from a Serbian TV game show. And a quite fey  Mike Pence, the party’s deejay, has thrown off his inhibitions along with his ambitions. Brett Kavanaugh (host Matt Damon) isn’t sad that “nerd Merrick Garland” is on the Supreme Court instead of him — because he can hang out with “PJ and Squi.” Even son Eric (Alex Moffat) is a tiny bit smarter.

And omniscient special counsel Robert Mueller can spend more time with his grandson rather than investigating “some idiot for treason.”

Despite the angel’s best effort, however, Trump is still obtuse — and his “epiphany” is tragically clueless.

 

 

 

SNL Cold Open: Bill Murray IS Steve Bannon On ‘Morning Joe’

SNL Cold Open: Bill Murray IS Steve Bannon On ‘Morning Joe’

It’s morning on Saturday Night Live, and that means Morning Joe, hosted by those cooing lovebirds Joe Scarborough (Alex Moffat) and Mika Brzezinski (Kate McKinnon), along with their revolted sidekick Willie Geist (Mikey Day). The guest is of course author Michael Wolff (Fred Armisen), played with appropriate asperity as he reveals the White House secrets he left out of his bestseller Fire and Fury. And who appears next but surprise guest Steve Bannon (Bill Murray, who embodies the mad, disheveled presidential adviser and self-styled kingmaker).

Bannon insists he will return to dominate national politics. Meanwhile, he’s working on a web series: “Cucks in Cars Getting Coffee.” Listening to Bannon’s plans for the next presidential cycle, Mika is despondent. “The America we loved is over! No one is coming to save us and no one can!”

Unless it’s…Oprah (Leslie Jones), who shows up to explain why she is even more qualified to be president than Trump. She is an actual billionaire, so who knows?

 

 

 

SNL Cold Open: How Would Trump Handle An Actual Alien Invasion?

SNL Cold Open: How Would Trump Handle An Actual Alien Invasion?

Alec Baldwin returned to the set of Saturday Night Live as Donald Trump, facing an invasion of real aliens in a sketch drawn from the movie Independence Day. Clad in a flight jacket, he gives an impression of wartime presidential leadership — until he opens his mouth.

An aggressive species from the planet Zorblat-9, armed with invisible ships and advanced weapons, has already taken over most of the country — and as Trump addresses a ragtag remnant of SNL cast members, costumed as American soldiers, his shortcomings swiftly become all too obvious. Informed by officer Kenan Thompson that the aliens have vaporized the state of California already, he brightens: “Does that mean I won the popular vote?”

Typically, he has his own farfetched theories about the crisis — citing Alex Jones and Infowars — and doesn’t believe that Zorblat-9 is necessarily hostile.  “We don’t know that they’re actually from Zorblat Nine,” he says of the invaders. “I’ve actually heard Zorblat-9 is very beautiful, very fantastic.”

“Oh my God,” whispers one soldier to another. “Does he have business ties on Zorblat-9?”