Tag: lesbian
Our Lesbian Soccer Players Make Us Proud

Our Lesbian Soccer Players Make Us Proud

Five members of the U.S. women’s soccer team — plus its coach — have publicly come out as lesbians. The fabulous Megan Rapinoe is the most out there. With her chiseled features and chiseled short haircut, she could pass for the Greek god Mercury. (She needs a helmet with wings.)

Americans can be proud on two accounts. One is the team’s stunning performance in the World Cup. The other is that our lesbian soccer players feel free to totally own their sexual identity, and most Americans are totally cool with it.

France is a generally enlightened country, but it can be quite tough on its gay athletes. Marinette Pichon is the only member of the French team to publicly identify as gay. Other French players are afraid to. A few years ago, the French soccer federation marketed the female team through images of high heels, glitter, and the color pink. Can you imagine?

Sports have long served as a safe refuge for lesbians. It’s an activity that rewards aggression and requires muscles.

There remains plenty of bias against homosexuals in America, but compared with most other countries, this is the land of gay freedom. So secure are lesbians in U.S. soccer that Rapinoe can humorously proclaim, “Go gays!”

She goes on: “You can’t win a championship without gays on your team. It’s never been done before. That’s science right there.”

Asked whether she would attend a reception with Donald Trump at the White House, Rapinoe responded, “I’m not going to the f—-ing White House.” She later apologized for using the expletive, not for refusing a would-be invitation. That was a class move. Besides, she has sponsors to consider.

But note that even Donald Trump refrained from smearing Rapinoe over her sexual identity when he hit back. The women players were too beloved, too photogenic.

“Teams love coming to the White House,” Trump tweeted. “I am a big fan of the American Team, and Women’s Soccer, but Megan should WIN first before she TALKS!” He left it at that. (And they did.)

Of course, even a partly negative tweet by Trump can unleash vile attacks via social media. Rapinoe’s girlfriend, WNBA star Sue Bird, said that Rapinoe was “unfazed” by the nastiness.

Same-sex relationships have become so commonplace in American life that the media interview lesbian mates as they would hetero spouses. There was that unforgettable picture of the U.S. team’s Abby Wambach kissing her wife after winning the 2015 World Cup Championship. We forget how shocking these images are to many in even developed countries.

Rapinoe ruffled more feathers when she refused to sing The Star-Spangled Banner along with her teammates before the World Cup games. She said she was protesting racial injustice back home. I would have preferred that she just sing along and then play the game.

Rapinoe’s teammates and coach, Jill Ellis, backed her in the tiff with Trump. Their solidarity is touching, and the world didn’t come to an end. But somehow Americans seem to be the only people to wave dirty laundry at international sporting events. Many of the other countries are less perfect than we are.

This national anthem singing before sports events — especially international events — is designed to showcase love of country. American hearts have tied the U.S. Women’s World Cup team’s stellar performance to the patriotic celebrations of Independence Day. Why muddy it?

But let’s not end on a sour note. Rapinoe and her team are model Americans for their intelligence, talent, solidarity and generosity toward their competitors. That Americans of diverse backgrounds herald these outspoken lesbians is a tribute to our country.

Follow Froma Harrop on Twitter @FromaHarrop. She can be reached at fharrop@gmail.com.To find out more about Froma Harrop and read features by other Creators writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Web page at www.creators.com.

Lesbian Couple Urge U.S. Judge To Overturn Pa. Ban On Their Out-Of-State Union

Lesbian Couple Urge U.S. Judge To Overturn Pa. Ban On Their Out-Of-State Union

By Jeremy Roebuck, The Philadelphia Inquirer

PHILADELPHIA — The legal fight over marriage equality arrived in a Philadelphia federal courtroom Thursday, as a lesbian couple urged a U.S. judge to overturn parts of a 1996 state law barring recognition of their out-of-state union.

But as U.S. District Judge Mary McLaughlin weighed arguments Thursday, her interest seemed to center on one question: How far did the U.S. Supreme Court intend to go last year when it struck down portions of the federal Defense of Marriage Act?

The high court’s majority opinion in U.S. v. Windsor appeared on one hand to maintain the authority of individual states to define marriage within their borders. However, the opinion, written by Justice Anthony M. Kennedy, also contained an impassioned critique of laws that impinged on the rights of any couple to marry, describing those laws as humiliating and degrading.

“It is so abundantly clear that Pennsylvania law is facially discriminatory and the argument for it is irrational,” said Michael Banks, a lawyer for Cara Palladino and Isabelle Barker, the Northwest Philadelphia couple at the center of the suit. Banks argued that current state statute amounted to lawmakers’ deciding, “We are going to impose our discriminatory views — our bigotry — on other people via fiat.”

Joel L. Frank, an attorney representing Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Corbett, shot back.

“Windsor reaffirmed the authority of each state — including Pennsylvania — to define marriage as it sees fit,” he said. He noted that the high court let stand a portion of the federal law that allows states to disregard same-sex unions granted outside their borders.

The roughly three-hour hearing occurred before a backdrop of rapid shifts in the landscape of marriage-equality law.

Since the Windsor decision last year, federal courts in eight states, including Texas and Arkansas, have overturned bans on same-sex marriage. Many of the judges have stayed their orders pending review by appellate courts.

Unlike the other recent cases, Thursday’s suit avoided a direct appeal for legalization of gay marriage. Instead, it focused on the limited goal of state recognition of same-sex unions legally granted outside Pennsylvania.

Palladino, 48, and Barker, 42, sat in the front row of a courtroom packed with supporters and marriage-equality activists.

At the end of the hearing, Barker turned to her wife with a tentative smile before the couple walked out of the courtroom hand in hand.

Married in Massachusetts in 2005, they moved to Pennsylvania shortly afterward. They work at Bryn Mawr College and are raising a 5-year-old son.

“We’re just living our lives and looking for a court to back us up,” Palladino said Thursday. Barker added: “There’s something very powerful about the right to have protection as a legally married couple.”

Throughout Thursday’s proceedings, McLaughlin peppered lawyers with questions — inquiries that appeared at times to catch both sides off guard.

Lawyers for Palladino and Barker had made much in the run-up to the hearing of what they described as their unique legal theory, which relies upon the “Full Faith and Credit Clause” of the Constitution.

That provision requires each state to respect the public acts, records and judicial decisions of other states — an obligation the couple’s legal team argued extends to out-of-state marriages.

McLaughlin appeared to dismiss that theory, calling it “tough” to argue that the requirement extended to honoring another state’s laws.

When it came time for Corbett’s lawyers to argue, McLaughlin asked whether they would rather skip the speechifying and “quit while they were ahead.”

Later, Frank, Corbett’s lawyer, appeared flummoxed when the judge repeatedly asked him for a rational defense of the same-sex marriage ban.

“I’m trying to focus on reasons for the law and whether it passes muster post-Windsor,” she said.

The split between the two halves of Windsor — its apparent preservation of states rights wrapped in a sweeping broadside on human rights — divided the lawyers through much of Thursday’s hearing.

Banks’ argument often focused on broad proclamations of liberty and equality. Lawyers for Corbett, meanwhile, kept their case focused almost entirely on whether the court had jurisdiction.

“They blur the line between what the law is and what they believe it should be, and are asking the court to do the work of the state legislature,” Frank said.

Though McLaughlin, an appointee of former President Bill Clinton, offered no indication Thursday of when she might rule, her opinion could become one of the first to address Pennsylvania’s marriage laws since the Supreme Court’s decision.

It is one of at least five similar challenges to some portion of the state’s same-sex marriage ban wending through state and federal courts.

A second federal case — filed in Harrisburg by 25 plaintiffs, including same-sex couples and their children — seeks to overturn the ban.

Meanwhile, in Commonwealth Court, Corbett’s administration is seeking to void scores of marriage licenses issued last year by officials to gay and lesbian couples in Montgomery County.

A separate suit filed by 21 of those couples asks a state court to recognize their unions.

Pennsylvania is the only state in the Northeast that does not recognize same-sex unions, which are now supported by nearly 57 percent of voters, according to some recent polling.

Despite the domino-like U.S. District Court rulings striking down same-sex marriage bans since Windsor, McLaughlin warned everyone not to read too much into the momentum.

“Much has been said about being on the right side of history, but that’s not why we’re here,” Banks said before McLaughlin cut him off.

“I’m just here to interpret Windsor and the other federal court cases,” she said. “I’m not here to be a historian.”

Photo by Guillame Paumier/Flickr

Do Ask, Do Tell

The young man was scared and exhausted as he faced the webcam in the wee hours of the morning and prepared to call his father.

He was sitting in his bedroom in Germany, where he is stationed at a U.S. Air Force base. A map of the world hung on the wall behind him, but he was focused on what awaited him in America.

“I’m probably about as nervous as I can ever remember being,” he said into the camera. “I’m about to call my dad in Alabama.”

The timing for his call Tuesday was intentional. The U.S. military had just put an end to its “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy, which for 18 years had required gay and lesbian members of the military to keep their sexual orientation a secret.

For the first time in the life of this 21-year-old senior airman — later identified by The Washington Post as Randy Phillips — he didn’t have to worry about being lawfully persecuted for being honest about who he is.

Congress repealed DADT, but it can’t legislate a loved one’s heart. Phillips was scared to tell his father.

“I wish I wasn’t going against the grain,” he said in a YouTube video last spring, titled “I didn’t choose to be gay.” His face was partially obscured. “I wish this wasn’t something that wasn’t expected of me. I wish … I went along with what my parents planned for me and what they thought I would develop into. And it’s not.”

He was ready to go public, face-forward, and he wanted to do it by coming out to his father. It was clear he had no idea how this call was going to go.

He dialed his father’s number, set it to speakerphone.

“My heart is beating like crazy,” he whispered.

His father answered with a cheerful hello.

“Can I tell you something?” Phillips asked his dad. “Will you love me, serious?”

“Yes,” his father said.

“Dad, I’m gay.”

“Yikes,” his father said.

“Do you still love me?”

I could barely look at the screen; I was so scared for this boy, who’s younger than all of my kids.

Please. Please.

His father didn’t miss a beat.

“I still love you, son,” he said gently, as if he were sitting right next to him.

A few moments later, his father said it again.

“I still love you, and I will always love you, and I will always be proud of you.”

One down. Thousands of loved ones to go.

If you are close to someone who is gay, it’s likely you’ve heard his or her stories of abandonment by people who were supposed to love that person. These are heartbreaking narratives about mothers and fathers, siblings and used-to-be best friends. They are sometimes stories of forgiveness, too, in which the intolerant are beneficiaries of unearned grace.

UCLA’s Williams Institute estimates that 70,500 lesbians, gay men and bisexuals are currently serving in the U.S. military. Many of them will continue to live secret lives because a change in the law doesn’t change everything else that comes with being gay in America.

Still, it is possible to be hopeful and imagine those unfolding moments when, one by one, gay and lesbian members of our military finally feel free to be themselves.

To a point.

The repeal of DADT does not bring full rights to gays and lesbians who are putting their lives on the line for our country. The Defense of Marriage Act, another federal law, defines marriage as being between a man and a woman. This effectively prohibits same-sex partners’ access to military privileges afforded to heterosexual spouses. No trips to the base commissary, for example, or medical treatment at base clinics.

“We follow the law here,” Adm. Mike Mullen, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, said in a news conference when asked about spousal benefits. “DOMA, that law, restricts some of the issues that you talk about. We’re going to follow that law as long as it exists.”

My, what we ask of our gay brothers and sisters in America.

How we count on them to forgive us, one rectified injustice at a time.

Connie Schultz is a Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist and an essayist for Parade magazine. She is the author of two books, including “…and His Lovely Wife,” which chronicled the successful race of her husband, Sherrod Brown, for the U.S. Senate. To find out more about Connie Schultz (con.schultz@yahoo.com) and read her past columns, please visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

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