Welcome to “This Week In Crazy,” The National Memo’s weekly update on the wildest attacks, conspiracy theories, and other loony behavior from the increasingly unhinged right wing. Starting with number five:

5. Will Brooke

Will Brooke, a Republican candidate for House in Alabama’s 6th congressional district, really doesn’t like Obamacare.

In his new ad, Brooke tells the camera “We’re down here to have a little fun today, and talk about two serious subjects: The Second Amendment, and see how much damage we can do to this copy of Obamacare [sic].”

As cheery music plays in the background, Brooke builds his copy of the Affordable Care Act a quaint little wooden coffin — and proceeds to unleash hell upon it with his stockpile of rifles.

Brooke’s ad may not be particularly original — it’s just a more over-the-top version of a Joe Manchin ad from 2010 — but it’s certainly effective. Provided that Brooke is chasing Rick Perry’s endorsement, that is.

4. Bryan Fischer

On Tuesday, American Family Association mouthpiece Bryan Fischer took a rare turn towards civility — by his standards.

“Now I’m not saying that Barack Obama is the anti-Christ,” Fischer told his audience. Hooray for bipartisanship!

“I am saying that the spirit of the anti-Christ is at work in him,” he added.

Oh.

As it turns out, President Obama is just one of many historical figures to be “empowered with the dark spirit of the anti-Christ” (Michelle Obama, with her demonic Diwali party, is probably another). This may seem extreme, but look on the bright side: At least Fischer is still one step behindWorldNetDaily.
3. Ted Nugent

Photo: Mike Licht via Flickr

Last month, the town of Longview, Texas withdrew its invitation to have racist, sexist, possible pedophile Ted Nugent headline its annual Fourth of July celebration.

Nugent “didn’t really fit what we trying to put together, a family-oriented program,” Mayor John Dean explained at the time.

But on Saturday, Nugent shared the real reason Dean withdrew the invitation: Racism!

“I hear from reliable sources that the mayor is a racist and was offended that my band performs mostly African-American-influenced music,” said the man who personally solved America’s “black problem.”

On Tuesday, Nugent further clarified that “the lie that my concerts are inappropriate for any city anywhere is absurd,” adding, “My family friendly concerts are legendary and will continue to be all summer long in 2014.”

Who wouldn’t want their kids to learn about “the jackboot Nazi motherf*ckers in the Department of Justice,” or America’s “well-fed motherf*cker food stamp c*cksuckers?”

“Those that hate me are following the Saul Alinsky playbook on how to dismantle, fundamentally transform the greatest nation and quality of life the world has ever known,” Nugent added. “Those that hate me hate America, plain and simple.”

This seems like a good time to mention how Ted Nugent avoided serving in America’s military.

2. Pat Robertson

Pat Robertson still hasn’t gotten over his disappointment that Governor Jan Brewer bowed her knee to the God of Gayness and vetoed Arizona’s anti-gay bill last month.

On Wednesday’s edition of The700 Club, the televangelist reiterated that such an offense never would’ve happened in the “good” old days.

“I think you got to remember from the Bible, if you look carefully at the Bible what would have happened in Jesus’ time if two men decided they wanted to cohabit together, they would have been stoned to death,” Robertson said. “So Jesus would not have baked them a wedding cake nor would he have made them a bed to sleep in because they wouldn’t have been there. But we don’t have that in this country here so that’s the way it is.”

But who is making Jesus bake gay wedding cakes in the new millenium? Could it be...Satan?

“The Devil is trying to say, ‘I’m going to destroy your progeny any way I can. If you will kill your babies, that’s fine, I’m with you; if you will deny the chance of having babies, that’s fine too; but I want to destroy your opportunities to reproduce,’” Robertson explained. “It’s a very serious thing and we’re not talking about it, and we need to as a society, we have to realize where the attack is coming because it is definitely an attack.”

Video of Robertson’s latest rant is below, via Right Wing Watch

1. Edward Farrell

Most politicians would not openly mourn the death of Fred Phelps, the hate group leader who became famous for protesting soldiers’ funerals with signs exclaiming that “God hates fags.” But this week’s “winner,”Maricopa vice mayor Edward Farrell, clearly isn’t most politicians.

As the Maricopa Monitorreported, Farrell marked Phelps’ death on Monday morning by linking to an obituary on his Facebook page, with the message “We need more Fred Phelps in this world. May you rest in peace sir.”

That would be bad enough on its own, but Farrell made matters worse with his choice of obituary: “Fred Phelps, Man Who Forever Stopped March Of Gay Rights, Dead At 84,” by The Onion.

Farrell eventually realized that the piece — which contained lines such as “many of the facets of modern-day society that we now take for granted—such as the ban on gay marriage in all 50 states and the inability of homosexuals to serve in the military—can be traced back to Phelps’ vocal public crusades,” and “the current zero-percent rates of divorce and abortion in the United States can be entirely attributed to his powerful message” — was obvious satire.

That prompted an apology, in which Farrell insisted that “I had no clue about this guy; he’s an idiot,” and explained that the mistake was triggered by a recent incident in which a health club employee used his cell phone to take a photo of Farrell in the shower.

“I have nightmares about me seeing my naked body on the Internet,” Farrell lamented. “My heartbeat go up every time I go to the Internet, I think ‘is this the time, is this the time?'”

And so, as improbable as it seems, Sheriff Joe is no longer the most embarrassing elected official from Maricopa.

Check out previous editions of This Week In Crazy here. Think we missed something? Let us know in the comments!