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Sunday, March 24, 2019

Park Rangers start a green-spiracy, suicide bombers are in the government, and Steve King leads a community circle jerk–er, prayer. It’s This Week in Crazy!

5. National Park Service
The continuously defunded government department went above and beyond to silence environmental scientist Dr. Maria Caffrey. Dr. Caffrey worked tirelessly on a report outlining the sea levels rising (SLR) in national parks. You know, keeping an eye out for the sole reason this department was founded?

Like any sensible person, Dr. Caffrey stated numerous times that SLR increases were due to human-caused climate change. True guardians of the globe, the National Park Service bullied Dr. Caffrey to redact all such statements. They even went so far as threatening to remove her name from the paper — but she stood her ground.

Unbeknownst to Dr. Caffrey, the National Park Service quietly released the report…just in time for Christmas break!

Despite her stance, the NPS promised Dr. Cafrrey job security. Yet, when her contract expired the department told her there was no funding for another project. The scientist was let go, forced to take another job at one-third her original pay. The case with Dr. Caffrey is one of 194 known attempts to remove mentions of human-made climate change from government reports. Welcome to 1984.

4. Chris McDonald
Old McDonald better head back to his farm because the right-wing commentator sounds crazy as a loon. The host of MC Files (No relation to Hammer), went on a racist rampage over the white right’s latest obsession: Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN).

White Evangelicals are on a witch hunt for the newly elected Muslim representative of Minnesota’s 5th District. As McDonald eloquently put it, “It would not be surprising to me if this lady don’t strap on a bomb and do something dastardly, that’s how radical she is.” Anyone else feel uncomfortable with the whole strap-on reference?

The host finished up, showing his true prejudices. “That’s what they do … That’s what their religion does, and yet we’re sitting here, letting her make laws and have a voice in Congress.” Yeah, about that whole crazy democracy and separation of church and state thing…

3. Louise Mensch
Louise Mensch, whose resume boasts British Blogger, Conservative Member of the British Parliament, and “chick-lit” author, tried her hand as a Tweet-Out comedian.

The Career Girls author responded to Bernie Sanders’ presidential campaign announcement with a tweet and delete:

That joke fell as flat as the Twin Towers. Yeah…doesn’t feel right, Louise. Maybe I should try my hand in chick-lit instead.

2. Steve King
Speaking of hands, Rep. Steve King (R-IA) stuck his out for support from his local Iowa community. The racist Congressman went back to his roots…and no, not the VHS copy of his favorite movie. He visited the  Forster Community Center and asked the elderly to pray he gets his job back.

House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy removed King from his committee assignments when numerous videos depicting the Iowa politician as a racist continued to surface. In hopes of appealing to those who helped make him into the madman he is today, King pleaded with the Forster Community Center audience.

King told those in attendance they need to pray that McCarthy will “separate his ego from this issue and look at it objectively.” Sure, God will get to it…once He’s done curing cancer and breaking up Ariana Grande’s relationships.

1. William Happer
The war on climate just keeps heating up. In the wake of President Trump declaring an unnecessary “National Emergency” to build a border barrier, his administration is attempting to downplay the real threat of climate change. Trump is readying a panel headed by physicist William Happer to debunk global warming warnings.

Happer accused climate scientists of using fear rhetoric to declare a planetary crisis. The physicist stated that releasing data about the impact of carbon dioxide on the environment, “really differs little from the Nazi persecution of the Jews, the Soviet extermination of class enemies, or ISIL’s slaughter of infidels.”

If that wasn’t enough, Happer concluded that there was a War on Carbon going on. Phew, I’m glad we’ve diverted our attention because the War on Christmas was just going in circles. With that being said, can’t wait to see who else we’re at war with, in next week’s This Week in Crazy!

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