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Saturday, February 16, 2019

Sharing private data is fine with a bro is from Ukraine, more mass shootings will make for better statistics on mass shootings, and the Defense Department ghosts citizens of America. No, this isn’t a Tinder date gone wrong. It’s This Week in Crazy!

5. Sen. James Lankford
Oklahomans are used to their share of tornadoes, but Sen. James Lankford (R-OK) is a real natural disaster. The Oklahoma Republican went on CNN to defend Paul Manafort’s bromance with former Russian agent Konstantin Kilimnik. The Okie thought it was okay to use the bestie defense.

So, it’s okay to share the private data of American voters with Ukrainians, but not Russians? Got it, Sen. Lankford. Except for the fact that the person Paul Manafort shared this vital info with is a product of Russian military intelligence training

4. The Defense Department
With the U.S. Department of Defense looking at a dwindling workload, let’s hope those in charge don’t end up as English teachers…at least until they learn the definition of the word transparency.

It is customary for the Pentagon to release weekly strike reports. However, in the latest Defense Strike Summary Report, the department stated the report will be posted bi-weekly going forward.

According to the memo: “The continued degradation of ISIS leads to decreased kinetic activities against the terrorist organization.” Apparently, it was becoming too much work for one person to tally 483 strikes in one week. So, they’ll need a full two weeks to get it right.

The Pentagon announcement comes on the heels of Trump sharing his intention to pull troops from Syria…while increasing the number of bombs dropped on the way out. Yet, the latest Defense Strike Reports insists, “Our intent is to reduce the number of reports while maintaining transparency.” Fewer reports and more bombs? That sounds like the very definition of transparent.

3. Jesse Lee Peterson
So a black right-wing commentator walks into a white nationalist radio studio…

Waiting for the punchline? That’s it! The facts write the joke. Conservative host Jesse Lee Peterson channeled his inner Rachel Dolezal and flipped the script on his race. He joined a podcast hosted by a white supremacist and without a burning cross in sight stated, “Unless white people take over, it’s over for America.”

Don’t believe it? Hear it for yourself:

Jesse Lee’s white-hot envy runs deep. Not only did he adopt the name Jessee Lee, but he tweeted the Trump Administration congratulations on looking good.

So how do we end up with more Trumps? Well, Peterson theorizes that more white people need to get together, go crazy, and “have a truckload of white children.” At least Jesse Lee knows the truck is prime mating territory for the white folk.

2. Stephanos Bibas
Donald Trump has appointed 85 Federal Judges since taking office. One of those pawns is Stephanos Bibas. Trump’s hired goon is already trying to roll back progress on gun control in New Jersey. The Third Circuit Judge vehemently fought other judges on limiting single firearm magazines to ten rounds.

Judges Joseph Greenaway and Patty Schwartz had already agreed the limitation was constitutional. No guns were being taken away and this was a swift answer to an increase in mass shootings. While Bibas agreed that five other appeals courts had upheld the ruling, he still felt this law violated constitutional rights.

Grown-ups, er, Judges Greenaway and Schwartz used data to explain mass shootings have jumped 160 percent in a decade. Like a big Bibas, Trump’s judge tooted the NRA mayday whistle:“They’re coming to get our guns!”

With whistle still in mouth, the new judge stated that the huge increase in mass shootings was a “causal link” to assault rifles. His closing argument? No action should be taken until studies can analyze a “statistically significant number” of mass shootings — because 426 in 2018 isn’t enough.

1. Russell Vought
In a world where a reality star can become president, of course, a blogger can head up the Office of Management and Budget (OMB). I guess I missed the Want-Ad, but congrats to Red State alum Russel Vought!

via GIPHY

With government spending causing the whole government to shut down, who better to look over whatever finances are left? The guy clearly has everything it takes to be an effective member of the Trump Administration. He even spouts the rhetoric.

Right. Yet Senate Democrats just proposed the Federal Employee Civil Relief Act Wednesday. New administration member, same old crazy. ‘Til next week!

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