Tag: olympics 2016
Kerry Confident Olympic Games Will Be ‘Safe, Sound, Secure’

Kerry Confident Olympic Games Will Be ‘Safe, Sound, Secure’

RIO DE JANEIRO (Reuters) – U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry said on Friday he is confident the Olympics Games will be “safe, sound, secure” and said the United States and Brazil are working together to ensure they are.

Kerry, meeting with Brazilian Foreign Minister José Serra in Rio before the opening of the Games later on Friday, told reporters he was sure Brazil will deliver “not just a great venue but a great Olympics.”

The Rio Olympics, the first to be held in South America, are being held at a time of heightened concerns of terrorism following attacks in European cities inspired by Islamist extremism.

Brazil has deployed troops to patrol Rio’s emblematic tourist sites to guard against the slightest chance of an attack, officials said, though security at the Olympic stadium appeared slack on Tuesday.

Security concerns jumped last month after Brazilian police, acting on a tip from the U.S. Federal Bureau of Investigation, detained 12 people on suspicion of links to the Islamic State militant group.

Some two dozen heads of state and government and 50,000 spectators are expected to attend the torch ceremony at Rio’s Maracana stadium on Friday night, with some 3 billion people tuning in around the world.

(Reporting by Paulo Prada and Anthony Boadle; Editing by Jonathan Oatis and Leslie Adler)

Photo: U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry speaks during the Oslo Forum at Losby Gods, June 15, 2016, in Finstadjordet, Norway.REUTERS/Evan Vucci/Pool

Imagining A More Honest Olympics Opening Ceremony

Imagining A More Honest Olympics Opening Ceremony

The 2016 Olympic Games are set to begin today in Rio de Janeiro, but the event is already mired in controversy and a sense of impending doom.

Tonight’s Opening Ceremony will no doubt be gushing with overblown displays of optimism, but what if we were to envision an alternate version, a pageant that addresses all the disasters that Rio is juggling?

Here’s a peek at how it would all play out:

  • The festivities kick off with an announcement over the loudspeaker that attending the four-hour ceremony may be unsafe for pregnant women, small children, or anyone who drinks water.
  • Protesters outside Maracanã Stadium quietly disperse while under fire of nonlethal bullets, made from shredded Brazilian reales.
  • Back inside, animal handlers release into the sky a massive flock of Brazil’s national bird: a seagull with a plastic six-pack ring wrapped around its neck.
  • A chorus of adorable children premieres the 2016 Olympic theme song, “Everything Is Fine (I Don’t Smell Any Human Sewage).”
  • Hundreds of dancers take to the field, dressed as exotic rain forest flora. A paper-mache bulldozer chases them off the Olympic grounds. Chinese dignitaries in the audience scoff at how any nation could allow such an environmentally unfriendly event to take place.
  • Supermodel Gisele Bundchen debuts her new line of designer mosquito repellent. Priced at a reasonable $90 US per bottle, it sells out within five minutes.
  • The Parade of Nations begins. The small Russian team carries in their flag mounted on a giant syringe.
  • A huge cheer erupts when American superstar Michael Phelps waves to the crowd. A dozen attendants surround him, constantly spreading a goopy layer of hand sanitizer over his entire body.
  • The Olympic Torch arrives at the stadium, grasped by a severed arm that washed up on Copacabana Beach.
  • Interim President Michel Temer makes a few final remarks and promises a very safe Olympic Games. Unfortunately, someone picks his wallet while he’s onstage.
  • The world’s best athletes return to the Olympic Village for a well-deserved rest. Their beds are warm and toasty, because all of the buildings are on fire.

If the actual event follows the same disastrous course, don’t expect Rio to place among the best Olympics of all time. For now, it would seem to be a win if the athletes and spectators could make it out of the Games in tact and healthy.

Photo: Jun 28, 2016; Omaha, NE, USA; Michael Phelps after the men’s butterfly 200m semi-finals in the U.S. Olympic swimming team trials at CenturyLink Center. Mandatory Credit: Erich Schlegel-USA TODAY Sports