Tag: susanne atanus
This Week In Crazy: Obama Blew Up The Malaysian Airplane, And The Rest Of The Worst Of The Right

This Week In Crazy: Obama Blew Up The Malaysian Airplane, And The Rest Of The Worst Of The Right

Welcome to “This Week In Crazy,” The National Memo’s weekly update on the wildest attacks, conspiracy theories, and other loony behavior from the increasingly unhinged right wing. Starting with number five:

5. Scott Beason

Scott Beason

Screenshot: YouTube

Many Republicans despise the Common Core state standards initiative, but few do so for reasons as ridiculous as Alabama state senator Scott Beason.

Beason, who has sponsored a bill to allow Alabama schools to opt out of Common Core-based standards, recently explained his opposition to the curriculum to The Anniston Star. Among other objections, the lawmaker is upset that it includes:

  • John Hersey’s Hiroshima, which describes the detonation of the bomb “told from the Japanese view.” Beason is concerned that “it doesn’t sound like we’re being very good folks, does it?”
  • Tim O’Brien’s The Things They Carried, in which the narrator expresses regret for killing a North Vietnamese soldier during the war. “What is the message that’s being put across?” Beason worries. “Is it that we were the bad guys in Vietnam, or was it that we were the good guys in Vietnam? I think we’re the good guys. But I don’t get that out of this argument, I mean, of this story.”
  • Arthur Miller’s The Crucible, which a Common Core-approved textbook encourages students to compare to the Red Scare. “So we’re comparing the McCarthy investigations of the 1950s, in which he turned out to be right, with the Salem witch hunts,” Beason says.
  • One of his colleagues, Talladega County GOP Chairman Danny Hubbard, added that “now that all the records are out, it’s clear that McCarthy didn’t go far enough.”

Once again, it appears that those who oppose more rigorous academic standards are the exact same people who really could have used them during their own school days.
4. Republicans In IL-9

susanne atanus

Remember Susanne Atanus?

She’s the congressional candidate who warned Chicago in January that God causes tornadoes and autism because He is angry about gay marriage and civil unions.

And, as of Tuesday evening, she’s the Republican nominee for U.S. House in Illinois’ 9th congressional district. Atanus received 54 percent of the vote in the primary, comfortably defeating saner opponent David Earl Williams III to move on to a general election matchup against Democratic Rep. Jan Schakowsky.

Of course, it wouldn’t be This Week In Crazy without a conspiracy theory. After the embarrassing loss, Williams took to his Facebook page, writing, “It seems that Janice Schakowsky is attempting to pull a fast one with my primary election by sending her legion of supporters to vote for my primary opponent. What is wrong Jan, are you afraid of a real challenge?”

Given Illinois’ open primary rules, Williams’ scenario is technically possible — although it does seem like a lot of unnecessary trouble for Schakowsky. After all, the eight-term congresswoman has never received less than 66 percent of the vote in an election, leaving her little reason to fear any Republican opponent — no matter their stance on gay tornadoes.
3. Rush Limbaugh

This week marked the first anniversary of the Republican National Committee’s decision to try to teach its partisans to stop repelling women (among other voters) away from the GOP.

One year later, Rush Limbaugh still isn’t helping.

The radio host used the Wednesday edition of his show to mock House Republicans for their plan to vote on legislation promoting the creation of a National Women’s History Museum, which Limbaugh described as “a proposal that has lingerie’d, I’m sorry, lingered in Congress for nearly two decades without ever reaching the president’s desk.”

After noting that, unfairly, there is no Men’s Museum, Limbaugh got to the heart of his argument:

“We already have, ladies and gentlemen, I don’t know how many museums for women all over the country,” he explained. “They are called malls.”

Limbaugh — a noted comedian — then played the remark off as satire, explaining, “Hey, I could have said brothel, but I didn’t.”

Audio of his remarks is below, via Media Matters:


2. Jim Garrow

Jim Garrow

Birther conspiracy theorist Jim Garrow, who last appeared on this list with a warning that President Obama is planning to use aliens and the Canadian military to establish a dictatorship, returns at number four for sharing the horrible truth about Malaysian Airlines flight MH-370.

Garrow explained what really happened on his Facebook page last weekend:

So let me get this straight. A fly by wire capable jet goes missing. It is on one course, turns and goes in almost the opposite direction on a heading which would take it to the US base at Diego Garcia. The plane has 20 technology nerds aboard who happen to work for China designing “classified” leading edge computer/internet control software and are carrying the matching hardware with them on the plane. They are heading to Beijing with all the others. We are shown pictures of muslim looking men as if they are on the plane….setting up the expectation that the plane has been hijacked. Convenient story line so far.

While we are down the rabbit hole this far, lets [sic] go all the way. The jet lands by wire at Diego Garcia, the appropriate hardware and software is offloaded as are the nerds. Interrogation proceeds and all the “secrets” you would want to gain from this “intervention” are gleaned from the assets.

You now load everyone back on board the plane and have it take off headed back to where it was supposed to go and at 35,000 ft altitude it implodes/explodes and the debris field is now found.

But who could be behind such a dastardly scheme? I think you already know.

Welcome to the world of the marxist muslim amateur Obama and his new found friends, the Chinese. Yes, I did say friends. After all he just gave control of the internet to “the world” and just by happenstance his brother Mark, whose partnership with the intelligence community of China I let the world know about in an earlier missive. Betrayal and treason are the mainstays of this America hating fraud in the Oval office. Hows that jihad coming along Barry?

That’s right: Barack Obama blew up the missing airplane to cover up the fact that he, his half-brother Mark Ndesandjo, and China stole classified technology from…China.

It would almost be funny, if Darrell Issa weren’t already preparing to investigate it.
1. Glenn Beck

As improbable as it sounds, Garrow didn’t even have the craziest conspiracy about flight MH-370. That honor goes to this week’s “winner,” Glenn Beck.

According to America’s favorite conspiracy theorist, there are three likely possibilities for what happened to the plane. Either it flew into the side of a mountain, it fell into the ocean, or the following series of events took place:

  • The plane landed in Pakistan, because 20 employees from Freescale Semiconductor were on board — and according to Beck, Freescale has developed a cloaking device that could turn the plane invisible
  • The now-invisible plane was then flown low over the Atlantic Ocean, in the exact same pathway as a British airliner
  • Someone blew the British airliner out of the sky, without anybody noticing
  • Flight MH-370 then uncloaked, replaced the British airliner, and flew to Washington D.C. …for some reason. Vladimir Putin may or may not have been involved

I know that Beck is not a big fan of the lamestream media, but I have a feeling that he’s probably enjoyed Don Lemon’s coverage of this story over at CNN.

Check out previous editions of This Week In Crazy here. Think we missed something? Let us know in the comments!

This Week In Crazy: Gay Rights Cause Tornadoes, And The Rest Of The Worst Of The Right

Welcome to “This Week In Crazy,” The National Memo’s weekly update on the wildest attacks, conspiracy theories, and other loony behavior from the increasingly unhinged right wing. Starting with number five:

5. Mike Huckabee

If you love Rick Santorum’s disgust for birth control, but wish he were just a bit more condescending towards women, then the Republican National Committee has the candidate for you!

At the RNC’s annual winter meeting on Thursday, former Arkansas governor and 2008 presidential candidate Mike Huckabee made the following attempt to prove that Republicans are in fact waging a war for women:

If the Democrats want to insult the women of America by making them believe that they are helpless without Uncle Sugar coming in and providing for them a prescription each month for birth control, because they cannot control their libido or their reproductive system without the help of the government, then so be it… Let us take that discussion all across America, because women are far more than the Democrats have played them to be.

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Any discussion of “Uncle Sugar” tricking women into promiscuity is crazy, but here’s what puts Huckabee’s comments over the top: They were part of his prepared remarks. In other words, someone read the speech and decided “Yeah, the libido section is perfect, let’s move on.”

Meanwhile, somewhere in Wyoming, Foster Friess is presumably writing a huge check to Huckabee 2016.

4. Susanne Atanus

susanne atanus

(Image via Chicago Daily Herald)

In what may have been an effort to prove that men aren’t the only Republicans who can terrify American women, congressional candidate Susanne Atanus shared her…unique take on the cause of disease and natural disasters during an interview with the Chicago Daily Herald.

The Herald reports:

“I am a conservative Republican and I believe in God first,” Atanus said. She said she believes God controls the weather and has put tornadoes and diseases such as autism and dementia on earth as punishment for gay rights and legalized abortions.

“God is angry. We are provoking him with abortions and same-sex marriage and civil unions,” she said. “Same-sex activity is going to increase AIDS. If it’s in our military it will weaken our military. We need to respect God.”

Unfortunately, Atanus did not clarify whether diabetes is caused by over-reliance on Uncle Sugar.

Happily for the citizens of Illinois’ 9th congressional district, incumbent Jan Schakowsky (D) has never received less than 66 percent of the vote in her eight congressional campaigns — so Atanus is rather unlikely to be joining Jim Inhofe in Congress’ “science is mainly about making God happy” caucus any time soon.

3. Ted Nugent

nugent

Ted Nugent, who earned headlines this week for yet another offensive rant against President Obama (whom he called a “subhuman mongrel“) checks in at number three not for his racism, but for a piece of political punditry that’s ridiculous even by his stupid standards.

In Nugent’s latest column for reliably crazy WorldNetDaily, the draft-dodging racist offers a novel solution to the Republican Party’s problems: “Put Steve Stockman in charge.”

Yes, that Steve Stockman.

“Congressman Stockman is a legislative street-fighting man who stands solidly for our sacred Second Amendment,” Nugent writes. “Should the GOP leadership ever wish to know how to act like a political party with titanium testicles, they would be wise to give Stockman the gavel and let him hold real conservative court.”

You may think that Nugent is only suggesting that Stockman take the reins to repay the congressman for inviting him to last year’s State of the Union Address. But as Nugent makes clear, he already repaid that debt with his amazing public relations skills.

“Following the Community-Organizer-in-Chief’s masterful smoke and mirrors speech, I held media court where I dutifully played the bongo drums on the empty heads of anti-gun numbnuts with flailing ball peen hammers of truth and logic,” Nugent claims. “Clearly, it’s my ‘we the people’ job, and I’ve honed my delivery to a razor-sharp edge over these many years, practicing relentlessly on clueless hippies and Mao fans across the hinterland. I eagerly await a real challenge.”

Just in case you still aren’t sold on the idea of putting Stockman in charge of the GOP, Nugent offers one more incentive: “It goes without saying that Texas Rep. Louie Gohmert” is on board.

Sign me up! As soon as someone finds Stockman, that is (the congressman has missed 17 consecutive votes).
2. Glenn Beck

It’s been another busy week for This Week In Crazy MVP Glenn Beck.

On Wednesday, Beck took on New York governor Andrew Cuomo’s recent remark that “extreme conservatives…have no place in the state of New York.” But instead of suggesting that the right “go Galt” and leave the state, as you may have expected based on his own Randian fantasies, Beck instead compared Cuomo to Bill Nye the Science Guy… whom he then compared to those who tried to silence Galileo.

As you remind yourself that Bill Nye and Galileo are both scientists, while Beck is a guy who thinks that the Terminator movies are “science fact,” turn your attention to Beck’s Wednesday interview with Family Research Council president Tony Perkins — which was somehow even crazier.

During his discussion with the hate group leader, Beck shared a theory for why his “non-partisan” television network, The Blaze, is struggling to break into the cable TV market.

If you guessed that demons are to blame, you’re correct (and you may be Gordon Klingenschmitt).

“You also have other forces at work that aren’t necessarily earthly forces that would like to see voices silenced,” Beck darkly warned Perkins.

Personally, I can think of a few other reasons that cable networks are shying away from America’s least-accurate prophet.

1. Joshua Black

Plenty of Republican politicians accuse President Obama of committing crimes — up to and including treason — but most stop short of suggesting that he be put to death for his “offenses.”

But this week’s “winner,” Joshua Black, is not most politicians.

Black, the Republican candidate for Florida House District 68, tweeted the following on Monday afternoon:

Happy Martin Luther King Day!

After facing widespread criticism for suggesting that we hang the President of the United States, Black took to Facebook to suggest that Jesus wants Obama dead, too:

Black’s comments cleared the incredibly sad threshold of “too embarrassing for Florida,” leading politicians from both parties — including Governor Rick Scott — to call for him to leave the race. So far, Black has refused.

His attack also earned him a visit from the Secret Service, which can only mean one thing: A WorldNetDaily column is right around the corner.

Check out previous editions of This Week In Crazy here. Think we missed something? Let us know in the comments!