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This Week In Crazy: Thank A White Man Today

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This Week In Crazy: Thank A White Man Today

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Alex Jones instigates mass psychotic episodes like Comet Ping Pong conspiracy for profit

4. Glenn Beck

You kinda have to feel sorry for Glenn Beck, militant supporter of loser Ted Cruz and captain of the floundering ship TheBlaze.

It seems clear now that the incident in late April when Beck mashed his face into a bowl of Cheeto crumbs to make some kind of point should have been taken as an early indicator that all was not well in Becklandia.

This week he was caught rolling back on his own insane conspiracy theories just as soon as he said them aloud. He aired a notion on his radio show Wednesday that Obama was intentionally allowing the investigations into Clinton’s emails to proceed in an attempt to derail her because Clinton is not enough of a radical to carry out Obama’s long-term Marxist agenda.

“I think it’s wrong,” he said of the thing he was saying just then on his own show. Nevertheless, he added: “I think you could make a case, a bad case, that he’s looking for an ideologue to replace him. He’s done the work of bringing this country to the brink of Marxism and he’s not going to have it flushed away by Hillary Clinton.”

Poor Glenn doesn’t even have the conviction of his own confetti-headed notions anymore. If Beck can’t at least be relied upon to believe his grand conspiracy-laden fugues, who can?

Oh and there was the whole wondering-if-any-patriots-out-there-would-be-willing-to-step-up-to-the-plate-and-“remove”-Donald-Trump thing that arose in a discussion between Beck and his guest, author Brad Bird.

“With the feckless, spineless Congress we have, who will stand in the way of Donald Trump overstepping his constitutional authority as President?” Bird asked. “If Congress won’t remove him from office, what patriot will step up and do that? If — if — he overstates his constitutionally-granted authority I should say as president, if he oversteps that, how do we get him out of office? I don’t think there is a legal means available. I think it will be a terrible, terrible position the American people will be in to get Trump out of office, because you won’t be able to do it through Congress.”

“I would agree with you on that,” Beck said.

But I’ll say this about Beck. While other conservatives all over the map are taking their principles out behind the woodshed and lining up behind The Donald, Beck has militantly held fast to his anti-Trump position. But he’s not going to sit silent. The man has grand ambitions to devise a “100 year plan” to redeem America through the magic of conservative and libertarian values. To which I say, Godspeed, Glenn. Never change.

Next: Gavin McInnes

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Sam Reisman

Sam Reisman is the former managing editor at The National Memo, where he still writes the weekly "This Week In Crazy" column. His writing has appeared in Flavorpill, The Huffington Post, Columbia Daily Spectator, and Bwog. He was the publisher of the 2010 edition of Inside New York, an annual guidebook to the city for students and young professionals.

Since 2011, he has co-curated and hosted Peculiar Streams, a showcase for NYC-based writers, musicians, comedians, and filmmakers. He is a staff writer at Mediaite, and blogs at SamReisman.com.

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34 Comments

  1. dtgraham May 27, 2016

    To think, I was just getting used to the bible being banned and gay marriage made mandatory in Canada; now this. I was just starting to get on with my government-mandated same sex partner, Roger Cudmore, and now I’ll probably have to change my gender eventually too. Huh. How do you like that. Well, Trudeau’s campaign slogan last year was, “Real Change.” (true)

    Those LGBT pride parades in Canada are getting lame enough as it is. Pretty soon they’ll just be a bunch of married dudes and dudettes in Crocs buying ice cream for their adopted Syrian infants. An LGBT will just be a sandwich.

    Reply
    1. timmfr30 May 27, 2016

      we don’t care what you do lizard, as long as you respect and don’t infringe on ANYONE’S rights and beliefs and it seems your slimy brain can’t seem to accept that, it’s all about ” poor you”…that’s the point

      Reply
      1. charleo1 May 27, 2016

        You missed the Canadian humor! dtgraham is being facetious this morning.

        Reply
        1. timmfr30 May 27, 2016

          there is no such thing…Canadian humor is an oxymoron

          Reply
          1. dtgraham May 27, 2016

            Tell that to Kevin Bacon’s extended family, the Canadian Bacons.

            Reply
          2. timmfr30 May 27, 2016

            HA! good one…thanks for the chuckle…..

            Reply
          3. charleo1 May 27, 2016

            Careful. Canada may be our only open means of escape!

            Reply
          4. Bill Thompson May 28, 2016

            Trust me Canada is going to build the wall to keep us out.

            Reply
          5. dtgraham May 28, 2016

            And they’ll get Trump to pay for it.

            Reply
    2. charleo1 May 27, 2016

      Well you know, there is always going to be those people who must be dragged, kicking, and squealing into the future, and evidently you’re one of them.
      Look: I know, because I used to be just like you! You know, a man. But modern medicine is a marvel, and they’ve really improved this kind of stuff. And I can say with great confidence, that I don’t hardly miss it at all that much anymore. If I get real drunk, close one eye, and squint hard with the other, and look at that gorgeous Prime Minister you all have up there!

      Reply
      1. dtgraham May 27, 2016

        I’m glad it worked out for ya. Nothing to fear then. I hear you on that Trudeau. If this PM thing doesn’t work out, maybe he can dump Sophie and become the next Bachelor. Nice to have something to fall back on. I’m guessing at that point that Rachel Dolezal would then pretend to be Canadian. Aaah…she means well.

        Reply
      2. WriterGuy10 May 27, 2016

        I’d be happy just dragging some of these people into the present, never mind the future…

        Reply
  2. charleo1 May 27, 2016

    I didn’t wake up this morning planning on siding with a group of Satanists. However, somebody needs to explain to these people, that in this Country it is impossible to enact laws enshrining religious preference, and institutional bias, without leaving their own faiths subject to the same institutionally mandated prejudices, and law enforced biases. As there will always be that energetic zealot that believes his or her ways would so much better for society, if they or “their kind,” or their color, or culture were upheld over all the rest. Aren’t we so lucky as Americans, to have a Constitution that seeks to free us from such never ending strife, and misery? It’s so important, and becoming too often ignored. That perhaps we should dispense with all this open religious incantation prior to all our governmental meetings from Congress on down. If we’re just going to use religion as a cudgel, or divisive tactic Or to curry favor, from those citizens we like, while excluding others for which we harbor biases. If those who make our laws have forgotten the proper place for religion in our Constitutional Republic. Then let’s take religion back to our Churches, Synagogues, and Mosques, Where it began. Where it may be freely, and openly practiced. And where it properly, and Constitutionally belongs.

    Reply
    1. Dominick Vila May 27, 2016

      Bravo!

      Reply
      1. Jeannejgomez May 28, 2016

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        Reply
        1. Aaron_of_Portsmouth May 31, 2016

          And we should care?? Get a real job instead of spamming for a living.

          Reply
    2. dtgraham May 27, 2016

      Double bravo!

      Reply
  3. itsfun May 27, 2016

    I am glad to see the Donald not afraid to criticize a Republican Governor. It shows he is not a party hack.

    Reply
    1. charleo1 May 27, 2016

      You’re so easy. If he winks at you, do you think he loves you?

      Reply
      1. itsfun May 27, 2016

        Really not a fan of his, but it looks more and more like he may be our next President.

        Reply
    2. jmprint May 27, 2016

      But is doesn’t prove he is not a quack.

      Reply
    3. Grannysmovin May 27, 2016

      He is a party hack, he kissing up to Ryan and waiting for his marching orders.

      Reply
      1. itsfun May 27, 2016

        I don’t think so, it may be the other way around

        Reply
        1. Sand_Cat May 27, 2016

          You’re likely correct there.

          Reply
    4. Sand_Cat May 27, 2016

      No, he’s just a hack. Not a party hack. He’s a Trump hack.

      One would hope even you have better sense than to support him.

      Reply
  4. Paul Bass May 27, 2016

    “Thank a white man”

    Pfft, ha, ha, ho, ho, tee, hee… yea, right.

    Reply
  5. jmprint May 27, 2016

    Stone is the devil’s advocate.

    Reply
  6. FireBaron May 27, 2016

    Gotta love the crazies. My only problem is these guys vowed to leave the US and move to Canada in 2008 and 2012 are still here.

    Reply
    1. dtgraham May 27, 2016

      Whoever is serious this time around may have some problems. If Trump wins, I hear that Canada is planning on leaving for Australia.

      Reply
  7. Joan May 27, 2016

    Does Trump have any campaign staff who are not either incompetent, respondent Holly, or a bottom dweller like Stone?

    Reply
  8. johninPCFL May 27, 2016

    Fischer already believes that slavery is a biblically-condoned social convention, so he’s already pissed at both Canada and the US.
    As to the rest of humanity, his only problem with China is their anti-religious bent (but their conservatism is OK), with Iran for backing the wrong cloud-guy (but their conservatism is OK).
    If only he could convince Kim Jong Un to become Baptist (or at least claim to be), North Korea would be the perfect nation-state for him.

    Reply
  9. CripesAmighty May 28, 2016

    Ya gotta admit the Scottsdale fellow does have a point: he’s got the Satanic Temples number in that, in sum, they’re trolling. Good-natured, witty, and designed to illustrate hypocrisy, but trolling nonetheless.

    Reply
  10. Aaron_of_Portsmouth May 31, 2016

    The title is another reminder to me that I need to reinforce the universal learned-response to categorize people with “Race” and skin color as the primary “key” in my mind’s “Database”, and instead substitute that with a new primary key—namely “Human”.
    The secondary keys of “Race”, skin color, ethnicity, nationality, and the like are useful in informing me of the wonderful diversity and uniqueness of humans as individuals and based on their cultures. Some cultural aspects like notions of racial superiority, “purity” based on “white” skin color, concepts regarding what constitutes “beauty” in humans, etc., need to be discarded altogether, while the positive aspects of our cultures must be maintained.

    There is no need for me to catalog the indecencies and inhumanity which dominant groups of humans have inflicted on those humans who were unable to adequately defend or assert themselves to ward off more aggressive human groups.

    Those “Africans” who evolved to become “Modern Humans” as of ~50K years ago migrated throughout Africa and up into the Levant, over into the Arabian Peninsula, into Asia, some to Europe, and others into the Americas, Australasia, and the Pacific islands. All the while during the eons of migrating to different climes, skin color, hair, and facial morphology changed as the environment dictated.

    “Whiteness” as a concept and ideology took shape among lighter-skinned humans in Europe, Asia, and elsewhere according to misinterpretation of metaphors used in Religious Books and in the sayings of the various Prophets. Without the structure for a “Standard” for interpretation, different opinions based on individual/group perceptions gave rise to the nimiety of sects and scriptural interpretations that has led to equally numerous interpretations of Books such as the Bible and the Qur’an to name two major sources.

    “Europeans” and “Arabs” had developed, as a result of environmemtal/cultural necessity, the means to become a dominant force global exploration by land and sea.
    With that mobility came the exportation of the faulty notions based on misinterpretations of their respective Books/Traditions, and which today have become firmly fixed in our neural pathways vis a vis how we relate to those humans who look different according to face, hair, and skin color.

    To retrain and build new neural pathways, a new Paradigm needs to be introduced to universally train all of humanity. That paradigm has to foremost be something from outside “Human Experience” and “Human Conventions”—the only such means of achieving that has been through the agency of Religion.

    But Religions have appeared successively over time to different peoples and using different wording and symbols according to the “spiritual capacities” of the people for those eras. Note that no two Major Religions have appeared on the planet at the same time in support of this observation regarding human development/capacity.
    Therefore, that which is needed is a New Message that parallels the needs of this Age and is capable of speaking in terms of the mental/spiritual potential of today’s humanity.

    That Message, I humbly submit, is that of The Baha’i Faith whose Author is Baha’u’llah.

    This Message is not the Last. When Muhammad referred to Himself as “The Seal of the Prophets”, He meant the “seal” of a Cycle, referred to in the Baha’i Writings as “The Adamic Cycle”. And now, Baha’u’llah has ushered in a New Cycle.

    With this new Cycle, those who are referred to as “Baha’is” have begun in response to “create” a New Race of Humanity—–a “race” that transcends religious differences as conceived in “limited” and proscribed minds of the past, which rises above skin color and facial differences, does away with divisive political/economic structures, and sees all of humanity as being from its inception as “members of the same family”.

    A specific aphorism which helps illustrate this new thinking and forms a pillar for this new Vision is the following:

    “O CHILDREN OF MEN! Know ye not why We created you all from the same dust? That no one should exalt himself over the other. Ponder at all times in your hearts how ye were created. Since We have created you all from one same substance it is incumbent on you to be even as one soul, to walk with the same feet, eat with the same mouth and dwell in the same land, that from your inmost being, by your deeds and actions, the signs of oneness and the essence of detachment may be made manifest. Such is My counsel to you, O concourse of light! Heed ye this counsel that ye may obtain the fruit of holiness from the tree of wondrous glory.”

    The sooner Trump, the GOP, all those on “The Left” and anyone in between, develop new “sight” to comprehend this, the better it would be for them and the rest of the Planet.

    Reply
  11. winsmith August 12, 2016

    I can see why this is anonymous. I’d be embarrassed to put my name on this crap. Even a five year old would be

    Reply

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