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Monday, December 09, 2019 {{ new Date().getDay() }}

If you can’t quite bring yourself to watch the Trump inauguration, we present Stephen Colbert’s preview instead. Considering the new president’s fervent wish to have a North Korean-style military parade down Pennsylvania Avenue — a bit of fascistic wackiness from which he was reportedly dissuaded by the military brass — the Late Show host suggests a new hair-do for our very own dear leader.

Colbert also reviews Thursday’s weird Lincoln Memorial concert, where Trump walked out to the strains of the Rolling Stones’ “Heart of Stone.” And as a bonus, he examines the “learning curve” of Rick Perry, soon to take charge of the Department of Energy he once proposed abolishing, and the nuclear arsenal it oversees.

On a day that will make millions weep, we’re trying for laughter.

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Sen. Susan Collins

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How thin can one person’s skin possibly be? Sen. Susan Collins tested the limits of that question with her response to a sidewalk chalk message asking her to vote for the Women’s Health Protection Act, codifying the abortion rights of Roe v. Wade into law.

“Susie, please, Mainers want WHPA —–> vote yes, clean up your mess,” the chalk message outside Collins’ home in Bangor, Maine, read. They said please, in a medium that causes no damage, and she called the police.

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Jim Lamon

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.Arizona Republican Senate candidate Jim Lamon has repeatedly said he wants to save and preserve Social Security. But his own campaign website reveals that he aims to raise the program's eligibility age and to privatize it, leaving millions of Americans to fend for themselves.

In a video message on his website, Lamon claims, "Social Security is headed for a train wreck, for bankruptcy. Politicians who kick the can down the road, we must save Social Security. I intend to be bold in the U.S. Senate to make it happen."

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