If you can’t quite bring yourself to watch the Trump inauguration, we present Stephen Colbert’s preview instead. Considering the new president’s fervent wish to have a North Korean-style military parade down Pennsylvania Avenue — a bit of fascistic wackiness from which he was reportedly dissuaded by the military brass — the Late Show host suggests a new hair-do for our very own dear leader.

Colbert also reviews Thursday’s weird Lincoln Memorial concert, where Trump walked out to the strains of the Rolling Stones’ “Heart of Stone.” And as a bonus, he examines the “learning curve” of Rick Perry, soon to take charge of the Department of Energy he once proposed abolishing, and the nuclear arsenal it oversees.

On a day that will make millions weep, we’re trying for laughter.