Welcome to “This Week In Crazy,” The National Memo’s weekly update on the wildest attacks, conspiracy theories, and other loony behavior from the increasingly unhinged right wing. Starting with number five:
5. Steve King
As the situation in Ferguson, Missouri spiraled out of control, Newsmax TV decided to sort out the police shooting and subsequent protests by turning to an expert on race relations: Rep. Steve King (R-IA).
According to Congressman King, racial profiling didn’t play a role in the violence — because everyone in Ferguson is from the same “continental origin.”
“This idea of no racial profiling…I’ve seen the video,” King said. “It looks to me like you don’t need to bother with that particular factor because they all appear to be of a single, you know, of a single origin, I should say, a continental origin might be the way to phrase that.”
You guys, I don’t think he’s talking about North America.
But don’t worry, minorities: King added that he “reject[s] race-based politics, identity politics” (unless someone has cantaloupe calves, in which case all bets are off).
Meanwhile, Reince Priebus would like you to know that his outreach plan is going just fine, thanks for asking.
4. Glenn Beck
Glenn Beck checks in at number four, for predicting (again) that America is about to collapse once and for all — unless we heed his advice.
To underscore the seriousness of the situation, Beck busted out his chalkboard and covered it with a timeline of just about every global crisis since 1999. What caused 9/11, the housing bubble, and the “Nazi European uprising,” you might ask?
Not listening to Glenn Beck, obviously.
“All of these things were insane to say at the time,” Beck said, after scolding Americans for mocking his prophecies. He explained that people are always telling him, “I don’t want to hear any more from you on your predictions, because they tend to come true” [note: nobody has ever said this], but he just can’t stop dropping facts.
“Try being me,” he said. “You think I want to think these things?”
Unfortunately, according to the Prophet Beck, “we’re at the end of the highway. This is it.” Is there any hope for the future?
Yes. All we have to do is give in to the power of love, and “live like Jesus.”
I guess it beats living like Moloch and Baal.
3. Louie Gohmert
Congress may have left Washington for the summer, but that isn’t stopping Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX) from sharing his unique views on the news.
In a Wednesday interview with the Tea Party News Network, Gohmert warned that “undocumented Democrats” are flooding over the border to infect Americans with Ebola.
“This administration doesn’t have the desire, doesn’t have the will to actually stop it. Because they see people coming across as undocumented Democrats,” Gohmert explained. “So they want to keep that surge of people coming in illegally. Even though it includes a big spike in ‘other than Mexicans.’ OTMs, as we call them. It includes a spike in people from countries where terrorism abounds. We have people coming in from countries where Ebola is located.”
“They could be coming in with disease that we simply do not need,” he added. “And that’s not fear mongering, it’s just saying ‘let’s be careful.'”
Because if there’s one person who’s always careful about what he says and does, it’s Louie Gohmert.
Presumably, once the Ebola-ridden terrorists reach America, they’ll take the first available opportunity to have terror babies (who will eventually grow up to be freeloading todders). By Gohmert’s own logic, though, they won’t be Democrats; after all, he already won Hispanics’ hearts and minds by killing immigration reform.
Audio of Gohmert’s comments is available at Buzzfeed.
2. Erik Rush
The ever-paranoid Erik Rush checks in at number two, for a column suggesting that gay Americans are aligning themselves with ISIS to kill Christians.
Writing in WorldNetDaily, Rush laments the fact that ISIS is targeting Christians in Iraq, and then warns that “in America, we are seeing a different methodology being used to disenfranchise Christians, but rest assured, many of the principals and operatives are the same people.”
The operatives, of course, are the president and his gay buddies.
“It isn’t necessary at this time to belabor the fact Obama has more than a nodding acquaintance with all things gay,” Rush writes — linking to another WorldNetDaily article about the president’s secret gay life — before transitioning to his central argument: “Those on the political left hate Christians.”
“[T]hose true-believing useful idiots on the left – some of them homosexual themselves – share the same big tent with another political special interest and beneficiary of progressives’ largesse: Muslims, those who would just as readily and just as severely persecute homosexuals, women, children and, of course, non-Muslims in America as they are doing in Iraq,” he writes.
“It says a lot that so many liberal Americans have decided to stand with abject animals, men who are capable of the most heinous, disgusting, depraved war crimes imaginable, and against their own countrymen and women who happen to be Christians, and against our ally Israel,” Rush continues.
Personally, I haven’t seen many liberals standing in solidarity with ISIS, but as Rush frequently reminds us, evidence is for liberals.
Rush concluded his column with what he surely considers to be a kill shot: “Finally, addressing the Islamist horde that has promised to raise its flag over the White House: In a sense, it has already been done.”
I guess that’s what we get for electing Malcolm X’s gay, radical Islamist-loving son (probably).
1. Larry Klayman
This week’s “winner” is the only man with a crazier WorldNetDaily column than Rush: Right-wing legal activist and failed coup leader Larry Klayman.
“Under the Obama administration run by our so-called commander in chief,” Klayman begins, “affirmative action has been expanded to include Muslim terrorists such as Hamas and yet another Afghan terrorist, amidst its security forces, who just killed the American general, Maj. Gen. Harold J. Greene, the highest-ranking U.S. officer to be murdered since 1970 in the Vietnam War.”
You have my attention.
Klayman goes on to give a long “refresher course” on how President Obama — “the first Muslim president” — actually sympathizes with terrorists over the U.S. military. (Key points include the fact that Obama lived in Indonesia as a child, and has suggested that the U.S. “avoid impeding Muslim citizens from practicing religion.”) He then gets to the meat of his argument:
“The situation has reached an intolerable point, and it is time to either impeach Obama or find some other legal means to rid the nation of his treasonous and harmful ways,” Klayman writes.
“Thus, in the world of war against radical Islam, Obama and his comrades, like Kerry and the U.N.’s Ban, have created a new type of affirmative action where Muslim terrorists have more rights than our own military and our country as a whole,” he continues.
Just think of all of the well-qualified Christian terrorists who didn’t get a spot at Guantánamo!
“Obama must now be held legally accountable for his treason, either through impeachment or some other legal means,” Klayman concludes. “The nation finally must be rid of this tyrant, who allows our own best and brightest to be sacrificed at the altar of his Muslim roots and sympathies.”
It’s nice that Klayman has decided to stick to “legal means” to remove Obama from office this time. But if he wants to go outside the law, I can think of dozens of Americans who are ready for action.
Check out previous editions of This Week In Crazy here. Think we missed something? Let us know in the comments!
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