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Monday, December 09, 2019 {{ new Date().getDay() }}

Stephen Colbert welcomed Donald Rumsfeld to the show, to promote his new computer game project “Churchill Solitaire” — a version of solitaire played by Sir Winston himself — for which proceeds will go to help military families.

And while Stephen had Rumsfeld there, he had to ask about all those intelligence errors that led to the Iraq War. Rumsfeld’s answer included this little gem about the gathering of intelligence: “It’s never certain — if it were a fact, it wouldn’t be called ‘intelligence.'”

Trevor Noah looked at the latest desperate measures some Republican candidates are taking: Carly Fiorina ambushing a class of preschoolers for an anti-abortion campaign event — and Jeb Bush calling up his mom for help.

Larry Wilmore welcomed Rand Paul onto the show, to talk about the state of the GOP race. Rand at first seemed to compare Donald Trump to a speck of dirt that gets stuck in someone’s eye — but then he got to the punchline: “Donald Trump is a delusional narcissist and an orange-faced windbag — a speck of dirt is way more qualified to be president.”

Conan O’Brien entertained the troops at Al Udeid Air Base in Qatar:

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