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Monday, October 24, 2016

(Rejected first draft of Gov. Rick Scott’s position on climate change).

My fellow Floridians, as you’ve all probably heard, a new National Climate Assessment report says that Florida is seriously threatened by rising sea levels, mass flooding, salt-contaminated water supplies and increasingly severe weather events — all supposedly caused by climate change.

Let me assure you there’s absolutely no reason for worry. I still don’t believe climate change is real, and you shouldn’t, either.

Don’t be impressed just because 240 “experts” contributed to this melodramatic report. The Tea Party has experts, too, and they assure me it’s all hogwash.

Even if the atmosphere is warming (and, whoa, I’m not saying it is!), I still haven’t seen a speck of solid evidence that it has anything do with man spewing millions of tons of gaseous pollutants into the sky.

Is the planet a hotter place than it was 200 years ago? Yes, but only by a couple of degrees. Did most of the temperature rise occur since 1970? Yes, but don’t blame coal-burning plants or auto emissions.

Maybe the sun is getting closer to the Earth. Ever think of that? Or the Earth is moving closer to the sun? Let’s get some brainiacs to investigate that possibility!

As long as I’m the governor, Florida isn’t going to punish any industries by imposing so-called “clean air” regulations that limit carbon emissions.

In fact, soon after I took office we repealed the state’s Climate Protection Act and eliminated the Energy and Climate Commission that was created under my predecessor, the Obama-hugging turncoat Charlie Crist.

I also ordered the Department of Environmental Protection to halt all initiatives dealing with renewable energy and reduced greenhouse gas emissions. In fact, no one at DEP is even allowed to whisper the phrase “climate change” any more.

Yet the subject just won’t go away. That’s because the liberal media keep trying to scare everybody.

Say the polar ice caps really are melting, and sea levels really did rise 8 inches during the last 130 years. Who says there has to be a scientific explanation? Maybe God’s just messing around with us for a few centuries.

I myself own a big home in Naples right on the Gulf of Mexico, which is supposedly rising along with the oceans. Do I look scared? Do you see a moving van in my driveway?

Of course not (although I’m grateful to the Koch brothers for offering to let me stay with them in Wichita during the next hurricane).

  • Dominick Vila

    This reminds me of what a former President, who acknowledged that what he liked the most as President was the feeling of power and fame, said on this issue. The fact that the polar caps and glaciers are melting at an unprecedented rate, that sea levels are rising, and that weather patterns are changing are of little concern to the Tea Party. For them, it is all about the Lord, His grand design, and the distinct possibility of making a buck if we wait long enough and emergency measures are required to protect our coastal cities and towns. As for Rick Scott, climate change, like education, are just irritants that must be ignored, or should take a back seat to tax breaks for corporations and the elite.
    The sad part is that this crooked bozo is likely to be re-elected.

    • idamag

      Good description – “climate change, like education, are just irritants…”

  • disqus_ivSI3ByGmh

    One can only hope that all these climate deniers who keep burying their heads in the sand to avoid the issue suddenly discover they have done so below the new high tide mark.

  • hjs3

    Sorry, but you can’t fix stupid….

  • howa4x

    I think the entire state has to be under water before a tea party governor even says anything about climate change

  • jointerjohn

    What must be remembered about the current republican party’s defiance against all things scientific is that it gives them a sweet three-for-one political gain.
    1. It pleases big oil and coal which keeps those campaign dollars flowing, and also gives hope to any other pollution-bent industrialists out there who may need their advocacy in the future;
    2. It provides them a platform from which to declare educated people who heed factual evidence as being unreliable leftists and traitors; and, biggest of all,
    3. It comforts the Christian fundamentalists who have seen a couple of centuries of scientific discovery seriously erode their archaic superstitions.

    If they can make people believe all science is nonsense they win three ways.

  • Nick Rudolph

    Why are we giving this guy face time instead of putting him in jail where he belongs? He ripped off Medicare for over a billion dollars and paid a pidling fine when he should have done time. What is wrong with you people?

  • coalgateOps

    Arctic ice was up 67% in 2013, from 2012. The Ross Ice Shelf in Antarctica has also thickened recently.

    • Andy Kinnard

      2012 Arctic ice coverage was an all time record low; so, ANY return to the mean would make for increased coverage. All the recent news (from NASA, btw) about ice in the Antarctic is devastatingly bad. Your talking points are not science, Coalgate.

  • dpaano

    Definitely sounds like something a conservative would say……all BS, of course. I’ll be interested in hearing what he has to say once the coast of Florida goes underwater!