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Thursday, January 17, 2019

From the “Oh, yes PLEASE!” department comes the news that Donald Trump has so far wasted a million dollars on exploring another run at the presidency in 2016 — although “wasted” is probably not as accurate as “made an in-kind donation to Democrats.”

The attention-seeking missile that is The Donald has made a habit of throwing his hat in the ring and then snatching it back again when the unmistakable stench of reality reaches his nostrils, but like the proverbial bad penny he is, he keeps coming back for more.

“Everybody tells me, ‘Please run for president. Please run for president.’ I would be much happier if a great and competent person came along,” the  perenially delusional Trump told attendees at the Oakland County Republican Party Lincoln Day Dinner in Michigan. His “proof” that people really, really want him to run comes by way of… Twitter retweets, some from not-very-bright, Amanda Bynes-worshiping adults who have never voted and appear to spend most of their time tweeting to and having pictures taken with porn stars.


The million dollars has been spent on exploratory research into how Trump is perceived in every state, which should be eye-opening. “The electoral research was commissioned. We did not spend $1 million on this research for it just to sit on my bookshelf,” Trump’s executive vice president and special counsel Michael Cohen told The New York Post. “At this point Mr. Trump has not made any decision on a political run, but what I would say is that he is exactly what this country needs. The turnout at these political speeches indicates his following remains very strong and is growing.“

By law, Cohen pointed out, the thrice-married Trump — an obsessive birther who, like President Obama, has one parent not born on American soil and once told The Guardian newspaper, “I think I do feel Scottish” — would be “required to turn over control of his company either to one or all of his children or to a trust” if he were to run for public office. He would also presumably have to give up the weekly look-at-me-fest of the Apprentice TV franchise, his hideous menswear collection at Macy’s, and his favorite pastime, suing everyone who insults him.

There’s no denying that any primary debates featuring Trump would be fun to watch, especially once a canny rival asks him to explain his party-hopping — Trump has registered as a Republican twice (1987-99; 2009-11) a Democrat (2001-09) and a member of the Reform Party (1999-2000). He’s been an independent since 2011, but has been appearing at Republican events since his well-publicized (and typically aborted) 2012 presidential attention-grab. Judging by his history, there’s every chance he will switch party affiliation to Republican again if he chooses to run, but then he’ll also have to explain this.

He does seem to have one foot in reality, though… at the same Michigan dinner, Trump named Hillary Clinton as the likely Democratic frontrunner in 2016, and declared that if Republicans “don’t pick the right person, it will be a landslide.”

Here’s hoping they pick Trump.

Image: The Daily Mail

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33 responses to “For Real This Time? Trump Exploring Another Presidential Run”

  1. Lynda Groom says:

    The Donald is always good for comic relief and this is no exception.

    • I confess, my dream tickets for 2016 are Trump-Bachmann Vs Clinton-Warren.

      • CPAinNewYork says:

        I think that the GOP would be very foolish to run two women for the presidency. Your “dream’ would turn into a nightmare, because Trump-Bachmann might win that contest.

        Remember, politics is a popularity contest. I think that a wiser ticket might be Biden-Warren.

  2. Donald was just an embarrassing distraction the last time he ran, he will be the laughing stock of the nation if he decides to run again. He didn’t have anything positive to contribute then, and he doesn’t have anything constructive to contribute now. He is a loser.

  3. Lovefacts says:

    The Donald proves the old adage: Better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and prove it.

    Having said that, if The Donald runs, sadly he’ll keep media focus on himself and not the actual candidates. This could allow them skate through the nomination without enduring harsh criticism.

  4. JDavidS says:

    Another picture with Forrest Trump with his mouth open. Never seen one with that fat yap closed. We need Forrest as a president like we need a case of the clap…Can you say “Laughing stock of the world”?

  5. old_blu says:

    Donald T. Rump running for President. I’ll have to see the long form of his birth certificate.

  6. NEW YORK—Real estate mogul and television personality Donald Trump reportedly stood before his bedroom’s full-length mirror Wednesday morning and stared forlornly at his aged, shriveled penis before getting dressed and leaving his residence in Manhattan’s Trump Tower to start the day.
    According to reports, the 66-year-old had laid his suit out on his bed and was preparing to step into a pair of silk boxer shorts when he glimpsed his deteriorating body in the mirror. Trump then spent approximately 15 to 20 minutes morosely reflecting on his appearance, dedicating most of that time to gazing at his desiccated sexual anatomy and contemplating its all-but-total lack of function.
    “God, look at this thing,” said a dejected Trump, hoisting up a large quantity of belly flab with his forearm to make his stunted organ visible. “Pitiful.”
    Trump, who in just over an hour would be appearing on the morning show Fox And Friends to assert that the president of the United States was not an American citizen, is said to have grasped the bulb of his penis with his thumb and forefinger and stretched the organ to its full 3-inch length before letting it go and leaving it to loll on an unruly tangle of mostly gray pubic hair. Noticing the pronounced droop of his scrotum, Trump glumly cupped his testicles in his hand and lifted them several inches until they reached the approximate height at which they had hung in his youth and even into early middle age.
    Sources say Trump sat on his bed and lightly shook his head for a full five minutes.
    At this point, Trump is purported to have released the heavily crinkled pouch and sighed deeply.
    “What the hell happened?” said Trump, who appeared to receive no reassurance by swiveling and viewing his shrunken penis in profile. “It’s just…dead.”
    Sources confirmed Trump then received a phone call from an Associated Press reporter asking him to respond to charges that he was a “blowhard” and a “bully,” allegations Trump managed to address despite his preoccupation with the condition of his sexual organ.
    “I’m rich and famous, and everyone wants to be me,” Trump told the caller, all the while struggling to recall the last time he was able to achieve even a partial erection. “That doesn’t make me a bully. That just makes me better than most people.”
    “There’s never been a success story like mine in the history of America,” continued Trump, who briefly tipped the phone away from his mouth as he licked his palm and began tugging on his penis with a loose fist. “I’m a phenomenon, and I don’t care who knows it—of course, everyone already does.”
    Upon disconnecting, Trump continued to stroke vigorously for three full minutes before giving up in exhaustion.
    Shortly thereafter, Trump reportedly turned his attention to the remainder of his body, miserably noting in his reflection the complete absence of muscle tone in his arms, the vast network of wrinkles on his face that showed through despite a freshly applied layer of bronzer, and the loose flesh on his neck, which he pulled taut several times with his thumbs. According to sources, Trump then attempted to shake free of his melancholy by rising to his toes in a boxing stance and pantomiming a series of punch combinations, an effort that quickly embarrassed him and intensified his gloom.
    “Sixty-six years old,” said Trump, who has an estimated fortune of $2.9 billion. “What’s 70 going to look like? And 75? What the hell am I gonna do then?”
    Gazing over at the clothes neatly laid out on his bed, Trump added, “Goddamn it.”

    • Landsende says:

      LMAO….I see another lawsuit in Trump’s future because anyone that says anything derogatory about him he sues, even if it’s true. Of course, all these lawsuits bring him more publicity which his narcissistic personality craves.

    • idamag says:

      You are funny. Loved it!

    • Elisabeth Gordon says:

      Zheet – Brilliant! I’ll be laughing all day….ya better lawyer up though….the Donald will send his henchmen to find you……aaarrrgghhhhhhhh!

    • CPAinNewYork says:

      Poor taste, bad, disgusting. Whoever runs this website: Delete this posting or force the author to clean it up. This is an insult to everyone.

  7. 1standlastword says:

    This just proves how tainted our political system has become since the turn of the century.

    Seriously, if we have another decade of T/GOP madness we are going to be in a world of manure so deep it will take a revolution to bring us back on course for a government of the people for the people and by the people.

    Corporate Donald is not a person and he certainly doesn’t represent the “people”.
    He’s a clown show with a three ring circus full of ultra conservative animals that are on the political endangered species list.

  8. FT66 says:

    Donald Trump might be regarded as one of those who have money, BUT listening him talking, he gives an impression of not to be those of intellectuals. Not once since he started to open his big mouth, I have heard from him anything which I can say, “Ya, that makes sense”! I can put him in the category of that woman from Alaska. Sorry! BUT it is the truth and the reality.

  9. Mike Kercher says:

    this moron is hopelessly in love with himself. I thought he was the only one who didn’t kow he was a moron, but evidently there a a few tweeters out there who don’t know it either. Then again, from the sound of the tweets, I’d be willing to bet that they originated with Trump himself, or he paid people to tweet them.

  10. howa4x says:

    Every time he needs to see his name bandied about the press he makes some outlandish statement. Now that the birther issue is DOA, I wonder what his primary issue will be? I secretly think he is a democrat since every time he runs poll numbers go up for Obama or whoever the candidate will be. He is probably and agent provocateur.

  11. CPAinNewYork says:

    I put Donald trump in the same category that I put Ross Perot: a successful business tycoon who ruins his reputation by playing the political clown.

    It’s sad in a way, because these intelligent people do not seem to have a clear idea of how they are perceived by the public. They don’t seem to understand that politics is basically a popularity contest between attractive people and they are not attractive people at all.

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