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Saturday, December 3, 2016

From the “Oh, yes PLEASE!” department comes the news that Donald Trump has so far wasted a million dollars on exploring another run at the presidency in 2016 — although “wasted” is probably not as accurate as “made an in-kind donation to Democrats.”

The attention-seeking missile that is The Donald has made a habit of throwing his hat in the ring and then snatching it back again when the unmistakable stench of reality reaches his nostrils, but like the proverbial bad penny he is, he keeps coming back for more.

“Everybody tells me, ‘Please run for president. Please run for president.’ I would be much happier if a great and competent person came along,” the  perenially delusional Trump told attendees at the Oakland County Republican Party Lincoln Day Dinner in Michigan. His “proof” that people really, really want him to run comes by way of… Twitter retweets, some from not-very-bright, Amanda Bynes-worshiping adults who have never voted and appear to spend most of their time tweeting to and having pictures taken with porn stars.

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The million dollars has been spent on exploratory research into how Trump is perceived in every state, which should be eye-opening. “The electoral research was commissioned. We did not spend $1 million on this research for it just to sit on my bookshelf,” Trump’s executive vice president and special counsel Michael Cohen told The New York Post. “At this point Mr. Trump has not made any decision on a political run, but what I would say is that he is exactly what this country needs. The turnout at these political speeches indicates his following remains very strong and is growing.“

By law, Cohen pointed out, the thrice-married Trump — an obsessive birther who, like President Obama, has one parent not born on American soil and once told The Guardian newspaper, “I think I do feel Scottish” — would be “required to turn over control of his company either to one or all of his children or to a trust” if he were to run for public office. He would also presumably have to give up the weekly look-at-me-fest of the Apprentice TV franchise, his hideous menswear collection at Macy’s, and his favorite pastime, suing everyone who insults him.

There’s no denying that any primary debates featuring Trump would be fun to watch, especially once a canny rival asks him to explain his party-hopping — Trump has registered as a Republican twice (1987-99; 2009-11) a Democrat (2001-09) and a member of the Reform Party (1999-2000). He’s been an independent since 2011, but has been appearing at Republican events since his well-publicized (and typically aborted) 2012 presidential attention-grab. Judging by his history, there’s every chance he will switch party affiliation to Republican again if he chooses to run, but then he’ll also have to explain this.

He does seem to have one foot in reality, though… at the same Michigan dinner, Trump named Hillary Clinton as the likely Democratic frontrunner in 2016, and declared that if Republicans “don’t pick the right person, it will be a landslide.”

Here’s hoping they pick Trump.

Image: The Daily Mail

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