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Sunday, October 23, 2016

Good news for late night comedians and political satirists: Herman Cain is back!

Cain’s new endeavor is a website called “Cain Connections,” which sounds more like a dating hotline than you’d think a man who’s been repeatedly accused of sexual harassment would want. The website’s primary purpose appears to be promoting “Cain’s Solutions Revolution,” a guide to Herman Cain’s policy platform for overcoming the challenges facing the United States.

Clicking on any of the issues in the solutions page — “Peace Thru [sic] Strength And Clarity,” “Monetary Reform (Make the dollar as good as gold!)” “Energy Independence — ‘Made In America,'” “Regulatory Reform,” and of course “9-9-9” — takes you to a comprehensive guide to Cain’s platform. The guide itself is only two pages long, and is written in the style of a high school student trying to meet a minimum length requirement (it’s filled with conservative boilerplate, and about two thirds of the first page taken up by a giant American flag.)

Of course, it wouldn’t be a Herman Cain website without an absolutely insane video. The avant-garde “Cain Connections: The Solutions Revolution!” video features odd close-up shots of Cain sitting at a desk (writing “solutions revolution” and “9-9-9” in comically large letters on a piece of paper,) and delivering his talking points in his typical preacher-like style. The video concludes with a bizarre 10 second shot zooming in on Cain silently glaring into the camera, holding up two fingers in a “V for victory.”


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Copyright 2012 The National Memo
  • 1olderbutwiser1

    Herman should have had some video of something more than his office, his ugly mug, and a few scratchings a fifth grader could have easily done.This is a man with too much money for his ego and mentality combined, he made it when times were better. I respect him immensely, however, due to having the guts few americans have. Instead of sitting all his life whining and looking for a handout and entitlements and “rights” he has above all achieved with hard work and business savvy what only a few americans have ever done.
    I remember in the early 80’s how interest rates went to the moon, so to speak, from excess government spending in the 70’s, and if you look at what the feds pumped out not just here, but worldwide in the last 4 years, and looming credit rating downgrades, it’s not too hard to see the top 1% will soon be not in stocks, but government bonds and as interest rates rise, the middle class will become the pooreat of the poor, having given all they had to give to try to maintain their credit-based projections of self-worth and social standing. Stocks can sink to the ocean floor, gold will crash and take the suckers with it, the deflated dollar will again be king, world-wide. I once had a 21 1/2 % mortgage in 1982. Paid it off through hard work. The property is now worth 3 times what I paid for it back then, and has made it’s price back several times as well.
    If world population continues to grow, housing will make a strong comeback, but not for the eliminated defauters of over extended credit, victims. Only the strong survive, we will soon come to that point in this country. Herman, I must congratulate you. You have a hell of a cash cow going on somewhere to squander your loot on a commercial like this. Tell us your secret !!!!!!!!!!

  • Srfnff

    A whole new level of weird creepiness. Didn’t think it was possible.

  • jacktheproducer

    Although, I am no Herman fan, I have to say that I like what he said in his video. I don’t trust him, nor do I like him, but the video is a message that all Americans should heed. I wish someone else had said it.