LOL Of The Week: Romney Etch-A-Sketches Away The Last 30 YearsOctober 7th, 2012 12:37 pm @LOLGOP
We’d been promised that Mitt Romney would eventually shake the Etch-A-Sketch and redraw a whole new Mitt Romney who isn’t the least popular presidential candidate in recent history. But what we didn’t know is that he would shake that Etch-A-Sketch for so hard and so long that he’d erase the last three decades of American history.
Let’s be honest: Romney put on a good show in Denver. He won the debate the same way Teresa Giudice won the Real Housewives of New Jersey Reunion — with lies, histrionics and an amazing dye job.
If you’re baffled by a reference to a Bravo TV reality show, let me explain.
Real Housewife Theresa continually does and says heinous things both on and off camera. When she’s called out, she just denies these heinous things ever happened. If pressed, she accuses her adversaries — with certainty and disdain — of lying.
Romney merged his reality-TV tactics with a rambling list of lies, half-truths and misstatements some call the Gish Gallop —named after the Creationist Duane Gish, who spews so much nonsense that rebutting it all is impossible. This allowed Romney to frame the incredibly unpopular policies he’s proposed so that they resemble the actual policies President Obama has enacted and proposed.
Romney also used two “zingers” to accuse the president of not telling the truth, once by comparing them to a group of people who are apparently the most dishonest souls he knows — his sons.
But when it came to taxes, Mitt Romney shook the Etch A Sketch so hard his hair almost moved. He said, “My plan is not like anything that’s been tried before.”
Romney is promising huge tax breaks, a repeal of crucial regulations and huge increases in defense spending. This has been the Republican formula for governing since 1980 and its exact formula for creating monstrous deficits and making the rich richer.
To hide his intentions, Mitt makes the same basic promise George W. Bush did: He won’t cut the share of taxes the richest pay.
But he’s certainly planning on doing exactly what Bush did: giving huge tax breaks to people who need them least.