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Monday, January 22, 2018

Welcome to “This Week In Crazy,” The National Memo’s weekly update on the wildest attacks, conspiracy theories, and other loony behavior from the increasingly unhinged right wing. Starting with number five:

5. Glenn Beck

Professional conspiracy theorist and self-styled Nazi Germany expert Glenn Beck claims his regular spot on the list for finally sharing the truth behind his supposed clairvoyance: Beck, you see, has a “bizarre gift.”

Beck shared this theory while recounting the story of how he sensed a stranger’s pain at the NRA convention, causing him to stop his book signing, chase the man through the convention hall, and tell him that everything is going to be OK. When the stranger heard the message — which he would know was deeply insincere if he had ever seen even 10 seconds of Beck’s show — Beck claims he “immediately broke down and hugged me and started to cry.”

“I have this bizarre gift,” Beck said, “that occasionally I can look people in the eye and I can feel them and I don’t know anything about them, I don’t know what they’re going through but I can feel pain sometimes.”

Of course, if Beck really had a George Costanza-esque ability to sense the slightest human suffering, then talking to any regular viewer of his show would be downright overwhelming.

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24 Responses to This Week In Crazy — May 10th Edition

  1. Those poor Republicans and family values guys. They have been trying so hard for years now, to find some big Obama scandal. I gues they just have to resort to making up stuff.

  2. I am a proud member of “Bamz, the secret army of the potomic”…we are only waiting for the “signal”…Our numbers are growing by the day…We are chomping at the the bit to do “HIS” bidding…there is some confusion about the “signal” though…We can’t decide if will be Glen’s head exploding on camera, or Rick Perry saying something not stupid…the country is safe from the “Army of the Potomic” at this time…Remember the Alamo, and Damn the Torpedoes, and Pass the Ammunition, We have Just Begun to Fight….the Tree of Liberty….What? ‘Murican Exceptionalism at its best…

  3. Glenn Beck is just trying to make a living so he says. He was once quoted as saying “I don’t know anything about politics, I don’t care about politics, I’m just trying to make a living” He was quoted in an interview on Serius radio.

  4. Jeezus, When Beck is only #5, Michele Bachmann doesn’t make the list and nobody from Faux Noise is there either… You gotta know the right are just getting crazier than ever. Nuttier than squirrel shit.

  5. The Right wing doesn’t have any answers to todays complex problems. What they are really good at is to make shit up

  6. I am so tired of the obstructionist republicans who know nothing about governing but only destructive behavior . Where are their ideas, where are their legislative successes? They are an empty party with empty intelligence.

  7. By George, if I were an Afghan trying to slip across the US border I sure as heck wouldn’t want to leave my turban behind!!!

  8. Crazy f@ckers! If they practised eugenics, these guys should be forcefully sterilised. The GOP is the most corrupt and the crackiest dudes are these “patriots” who rant about the Constitution without knowing what’s in it!

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