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Friday, November 24, 2017

4. Michele Bachmann

Skyline Church’s Pastor Jim Garlow announced on Saturday the appointment of the former Minnesota congresswoman and 2012 Republican presidential candidate to the undoubtedly made up position of “pastor to the United Nations”:

“I don’t know a darker, more deceived place on earth than the U.N.,” Bachmann told the congregation during Garlow’s Sunday service. “Because as we saw at the Tower of Babel, that’s probably the last time when we saw all the nations of the earth come together in a moment of deception … Their goal has been from the very beginning, the creation of a one-world order; but not a one-world order under the umbrella of the Holy Spirit, a man’s attempt at a one-world order that only brings about chaos, confusion, deception, delusion, pain. And that’s where, rather than cursing the darkness, Skyline Church is about to light a candle.”

What does it mean to be “pastor to the United Nations”? Don’t ask me. I can only imagine Bachmann delivering rambling end-times sermons surrounded by tourists with selfie-sticks. Or maybe she’ll hide in the bushes — like she did as a Minnesota state senator in 2005 — outside the entrance and wait to ambush departing delegates with guerrilla gospel.