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Thursday, September 21, 2017

1. Ted Nugent

When in November the United States elected a taller, less literate Alex Jones to run the country, there was concern over which jaundiced, nouveau-riche cretin would fill which cabinet position. Amid the confusion, I totally forgot about all two of candidate Trump’s so-called celebrity endorsers: Kid Rock and Ted Nugent.

The former got the better end of the deal: he’s running to be a U.S. senator in a possibly illegitimate campaign cosigned by Warner Brothers that’s definitely not just some stunt to sell hats.

Nugent, on the other hand, peaked when he grabbed his crotch on stage at a Trump rally in November. He’s since gone back to appearing sporadically on Fox News and claiming the only reason he’s not in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is because he’s on the NRA’s board of directors and Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Foundation member Jann Wenner “hates the Second Amendment.”

Hall of Famer — as part of Crosby, Stills, and Nash — David Crosby posited another reason the deer-hunting rocker didn’t make the cut:

Nugent then took to (where else but) Fox News to air his rebuttal.

“With all due respect to David Crosby — if any is due,” Nugent told Fox’s Specialists, “here’s a bloated carcass that has abused his body all his life. He’s a repository for every chemical and drug known to man. And if he doesn’t have that much respect or soul, then his criticism to me is a badge of honor. He can kiss my ass.”

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