“We have to build a fence. And it’s gotta be a beauty. Who can build better than Trump? I build! It’s what I do. I build. I build nice fences.”
— Donald Trump, spoken at the Iowa Freedom Summit, January 24, 2015
We need to secure our border! And we need to do it in style. Indeed, who is more suited than The Donald to keep us safe and keep it classy? Our artist’s rendering of what we imagine Trump’s border fence would look like is complete with top-to-bottom gold plating, a promenade of Grecian columns in pink marble, and no fewer than 60 slot machines for every mile. (Trump will require 117,240 slot machines if he wants to defend the entire border with his trademark panache.)
We estimate that completing this wall would almost certainly bankrupt the country, but we would certainly go out in style.
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