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Wednesday, September 28, 2016

 

 

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To the profound disappointment of crazy-watchers everywhere, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) has announced that she will not be seeking re-election to a fifth term in 2014.

Of course this decision has nothing to do with pending ethics investigations against her, or the fact that she only won re-election in 2012 by around 4,000 votes against the same opponent — hotelier Jim Graves — who would be running against her again. Uh-uh. Total coincidence. It’s not as if Michele Bachmann has any desire to have the power to control people’s lives, so why in the world would she want another term in Congress?

Be that as it may, we still find ourselves in the sad position of having to bid adieu to the faux freedom-loving, comically fact-challenged Minnesota congresswoman whose trophy cabinet contains more “Pants on Fire” awards from PolitiFact than anyone else besides Mitt Romney. While we know there’s more than enough derangement on the right to fill her almost-weekly spot in our roundup of Conservative Crazy, we’ll still miss having her around. Although hastily getting out of politics — and under a similarly “coincidental” cloud of ethics investigations — sure didn’t shut Sarah Palin up any.

So here’s our affectionate sendoff to the undisputed Queen Bee of Batsh*t Crazy — five of her most unhinged utterances, in no particular order.

AP Photo
  • Pingback: 5 Of Michele Bachmann’s Looniest Tunes | PROGRESSIVE VOICES()

  • ORAXX

    It’s good to see the doors finally beginning to close on Michele Bachmann. She is living testimony of just how much a person can get away with if they just make lots and lots of noise about their ‘conservatism’ and their Christianity.

  • Elisabeth Gordon

    What a pathetic imbecile….apparently she got the HPV vaccine….unbelievable ~

    • BDC_57

      I think she needs to take her meds.

  • dtgraham

    She must have heard the floor of a cave calling. It wanted it’s batcrap back. She will be missed. She usually always gets tripped up by her life long arch nemesis: the facts, but sometimes she gets “God’s plan” wrong too. She kept insisting in 2011 that it was God’s plan for her to run for President. I was thinking that if it really is his plan for her to get the nomination, then he must want Obama to win. I didn’t think it worked that way but they do say the Lord works in strange and mysterious ways.

    She once said something on the campaign trail at a rally in late 2011 that is still one of the most brutally honest (and brutal) things that I’ve ever heard a politician say. It was captured on a cell phone camera and later shown. She was quizzed by someone in the crowd about how her health care ideas would still leave an enormous number of people without insurance. Every time she would restate a policy about selling across state lines, tort reform, yadda, yadda… that same person would then point out how those things were inadequate and insufficient to provide coverage for very many more people. Finally, exasperated, she just blurted out that “look, there are people who won’t be able to get health insurance and that’s all there is to it.” She added right afterward, ‘that’s life’ or ‘that’s the way it goes’, or something. She then made some remark about how there were places for the “indigent” (her words) to go without specifying what and where those places were. I’m guessing that’s God’s plan too.

    Her seeming insanity always got the attention, but peel back the batsh*t and there was always a dark side to Bachmann.

  • djc84

    Typical knuckle dragging con. Unfortunately she’s not unique.

  • latebloomingrandma

    If you’ve ever said something stupid or factually incorrect in a speech or a group setting, you know how embarrassing that was. This woman has no shame whatsoever for her stupidity, as are many of her ilk. I hope Michelle and some of her cohorts soon access their health care plan for expanded mental health benefits. I don’t know what else to think about behavior such as this.
    The last time I read any of George Will’s columns was when he wrote a positive essay on that feisty cracker jack Michelle Bachman. He was hard to take before this, but lost much of his so called credibility with that column.

  • stcroixcarp

    She is now a lame duck…Quack, Quack!

    • idamag

      She’s always been a little quacked up.

  • JDavidS

    This woman is a strong argument for retroactive birth control.

  • idamag

    It is the custom for the president to give a speech the first of the year, outlining goals and other messages for the people of the country. Michelle Bachmann was the first legislator to prepare a rebuttal to that speech. I thought, “What a pompous ass.” Now, it is the norm for silly tps to rebut the president’s message to the people.

    • plc97477

      Unfortunately if they continue to slide into insanity they will not have many other chances to be on camera.

  • WASHINGTON—Saying that she’ll be gone soon anyway so she might as well, Minnesota congresswoman Michele Bachmann introduced H.R. 259: The Homosexual Decapitation Act, which would give the United States government legal authority to behead any gay U.S. Citizen. “I figured, eh, why not; I’m not running for reelection in 2014, I have nothing to lose, and I’ve been sitting on this bill for nearly five years, so what’s it going to hurt to finally throw it into the mix,” Bachmann said of the piece of legislation which, if passed, would create Homosexual Decapitation Centers throughout the country where handcuffed gay people would be taken to have their heads chopped off. “I’m also planning on introducing a Hang All The Muslims bill, the Abortion Doctor Castration Act, and H.R. 264, which would allow me to rip the throat out of any citizen who doesn’t believe in creationism. Rip it out with my teeth.” At press time, every new piece of legislation introduced by Bachmann had received more than 10 Republican cosponsors.

    • plc97477

      I hope you are a writer. Great ideas there. You should give us a series of books about a idiot in government.