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Monday, December 5, 2016

 

 

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To the profound disappointment of crazy-watchers everywhere, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) has announced that she will not be seeking re-election to a fifth term in 2014.

Of course this decision has nothing to do with pending ethics investigations against her, or the fact that she only won re-election in 2012 by around 4,000 votes against the same opponent — hotelier Jim Graves — who would be running against her again. Uh-uh. Total coincidence. It’s not as if Michele Bachmann has any desire to have the power to control people’s lives, so why in the world would she want another term in Congress?

Be that as it may, we still find ourselves in the sad position of having to bid adieu to the faux freedom-loving, comically fact-challenged Minnesota congresswoman whose trophy cabinet contains more “Pants on Fire” awards from PolitiFact than anyone else besides Mitt Romney. While we know there’s more than enough derangement on the right to fill her almost-weekly spot in our roundup of Conservative Crazy, we’ll still miss having her around. Although hastily getting out of politics — and under a similarly “coincidental” cloud of ethics investigations — sure didn’t shut Sarah Palin up any.

So here’s our affectionate sendoff to the undisputed Queen Bee of Batsh*t Crazy — five of her most unhinged utterances, in no particular order.

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