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Tuesday, March 19, 2019

The Colbert Report
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On Monday’s Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert took on the GOP’s “fan fiction” foreign policy, where Ronald Reagan wins every battle simply because he doesn’t have to fight… all the bad guys are busy causing flash floods by wetting themselves in fear that he might look their way:

Yes, we conservatives have an uncanny ability to know what Ronald Reagan would do at any given time. Syrian conflict? Invade. Obamacare? Repeal? Super salad? Jelly beans.

That’s why we know, we conservatives know that the Gipper would never stand for the use of chemical weapons… today. Of course in the 1980s, his administration ignored chemical attacks by Saddam Hussein that killed thousands of Iranian troops and looked the other way when Saddam gassed his own Kurdish citizens.

But remember, that’s the old Reagan. We’re talking about hypothetical, contemporary Super Reagan, the one… the man who never raised taxes, or tripled the deficit and who knocked down the Berlin Wall using his nutsack as a wrecking ball!

The news-busting conservatives at want you to know that of course the real Reagan appropriately handled Saddam Hussein’s use of chemical weapons.

The Gipper condemned it in an actual speech at the United Nations!

The reality is the United States didn’t even impose sanctions on Iraq — likely because the Reagan administration sold Hussein chemical weapons throughout the 1980s as part of an alliance to prop up Iraq against Iran.

But that was the real Reagan — not hypothetical, contemporary Super Reagan, who is headed to Syria right now on his raptor.



Photo: Sharpwriter via 

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13 responses to “Conservatives Defend ‘Hypothetical, Contemporary Super Reagan’ From Colbert On Chemical Weapons”

  1. charleo1 says:

    If you’re the Republican Party, to find a symbolic figure head to represent your brand,
    it actually has to be Reagan by default. Right now, down in Texas somewhere they are probably printing millions of revised history books, for the Right Wing children of the future. Expunging both Bush Presidents.(G#41, was a one termer,) And #43, need
    never be mentioned. But, Reagan. Sir Reagan, Saint Reagan. Reagan the invincible! Could become the Kim Il Sung, of the Conservative Right. Kids being schooled in the Corporate America of the future, could learn such things about their vaunted late 20th century leader’s birth. Like, the documented appearance of a double helix rainbow, in a perfectly blue sky, that accompanied his arrival into the Country he would one day come to lead with such courage, and wisdom. They could learn of the day with all of the known world watching, he confronted an evil Communist Empire. And, using only his voice commanded, “Mr. Gorbachev, I’m single handedly tearing down this wall!” And the Wall started trembling. A little at first, then more. And then, like the Biblical Joshua of old, the wall came tumbling down! And this boys and girls is how Ronald Reagan, the Father of our United Corporate State, freed half the world’s people, in a single afternoon!

    • sigrid28 says:

      Wherever I look lately, except here, you have been missed, charleo1. I worried about a new screen name, charleo-once, until today! Signed, your loyal following.

      • charleo1 says:

        Have been a bit under the weather as of late. I see screen names
        now and again, and think, now why didn’t think of that? Right?
        But, no I’ll never change names. And the sentiment is absolutely mutual!

        • sigrid28 says:

          You can’t get any better, so you’ll have to get well fast. By the way, revolving textbooks in Texas (and other states) keep many publishers happy. Their fact checkers, however, are having a more and more difficult time.

    • Eleanore Whitaker says:

      Texas is trying desperately to be the capital of the US. For 8 Bush years, Bush pumped billions of our tax dollars into his own state and threw tons of new energy, intelligence and banking business there. The problem with Texas is what it has always been…they actually think they can take tax dollars and have no responsibility or accountability to the US government. That swagger, drawling BS of the TX blowhards is phony. All anyone has to do to prove that is look at how many billions of our tax dollars is spent on TX.

      If you can get a copy, check out the September 2013 issue of National Geographic. There’s a very interesting article about why the seas are rising and who’s really the cause. Then, you see just why TX needs so much of our tax dollars all too clearly.

  2. Dominick Vila says:

    Super Reagan? Are they referring to the guy that gave us Iran-Contra and then blamed a Lt. Col. for a major foreign policy faux pas? Are they talking about the President who after seeing 220 U.S. marines slaughtered in Lebanon told the American people that that was not our war and cut and ran? Are they talking about the man that let Kaddafi get away with murder after that thug ordered the downing of a Pan Am commercial airliner over Lockerbie? Is this the same guy that funded and gave intelligence to Jihadists, including Osama bin Laden, when they were fighting the Soviets in Afghanistan? The same visionary that gave WMDs and intelligence suggesting collusion between the Kurds and the Iranians during the Iran-Iraq war? The same President that funded death squads in El Salvador and Nicaragua, the one that ordered the invasion of the tiny island of Grenada, the one that warned us about an imminent invasion of the United States by Nicaraguans? Or is it, perchance, the same President whose policies contributed to the Savings and Loan debacle? The same one that praised deficit spending, the one who hold the record in accumulation of debt and government spending?
    The New Right should consider holding a convention and debating their strategy at Disney to ensure they get a reality check commensurate with their intelligence. It seems obvious, at least to me, that fantasy or make believe is the only thing a party devoid of a vision and a credible record has to offer. Incredibly, millions of fellow Americans are buying the latest con job.

  3. Eleanore Whitaker says:

    Anyone who has ever read the book, American Dynasty, has proof that it was George H.W. Bush who was behind Iran ContraGate. He slimed out of it because he got his son, George to destroy all of the implicating records in January 2001. Nothing like a little son insuring his old man will never see a sign of dirt on his reputation.

    This book provides clear evidence supported by bibliographical facts that Reagan and his cohort George H.W. Bush were clearly responsible for selling arms to Iran. This is the reason Iran detests the US today. First they deposed the Shah and replaced him with a leader they hoped would give the US control of Iran’s oil. (Smell that Bush generational involvement in oil yet?). Then, they found they were duped when the imposed leader turned on the US. So Reagan then tried to return the Shah to power. By then, Iran was fed up with US interference in their government.

  4. latebloomingrandma says:

    I listened to the Colbert video.. He’s hilariously spot on. I have been told by so many “smart”, fully informed people that Bill O’Reilly is non-partisan and gives both sides and doesn’t lie. Huh? He apparently doesn’t employ researchers, unlike Rachel, who almost always has her ducks in a row. If she doesn’t, corrects the next nite.

  5. docb says:

    He is a treasure…Spot on! You can not rewrite history on this…We have the evidence.

  6. itsfun says:

    Must be getting tired of blaming George Bush for all of Obama’s failures. Now we will start blaming Ronald Reagan for all of Obama’s failures. Will Ike be next?

    • Sand_Cat says:

      You never get tired of blaming Obama for all of Bush’s failures, so why should we get tired of placing the blame where it belongs?

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