Smart. Sharp. Funny. Fearless.
Monday, July 16, 2018

Photo by Michele Sandberg.

Retreating to higher ground is not something modern Republicans do naturally. But with Tropical Storm Isaac about to become a hurricane, they’ve been forced to start bailing out of some of their scheduled convention activities. And their first edits were easy.

For weeks, Donald Trump (Birther-NY) has been promising the world’s most predictable “surprise” at the Republican National Convention. Trump’s sketch, likely featuring the fake firing of a President Obama impersonator, was one of the first events cut from the agenda. This was convenient for Mitt Romney, who saw his lame birther joke spark a backlash that has finally resulted in media attention to his race-baiting. Another lucky break for Romney is that Rick Scott, the chronically unpopular Governor of Florida, had to withdraw from a speaking slot to deal with the storm.

The GOP’s presumptive nominee may have to make more cuts as Isaac threatens a direct hit with New Orleans, conjuring up the Ghost of Republican Failures Past. With Mitt’s record of becoming more unlikable as people get to know him, the storm gives him a nice opportunity to make more cuts from the convention agenda that could end up improving his image.

After you get rid of the rest of the birthers on the agenda, Mitt, here are five more speakers to cut now to save yourself some trouble.