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Thursday, December 8, 2016

Attention citizens: I have received inside information revealing that global terrorists are targeting us again. Their target is not Washington, New York City or even Disneyland. Rather, it is: Concord.

You know, in New Hampshire. The state capital. Even though only about 43,000 people live there, Concord apparently has some sort of secret significance that makes it a target. We can infer this from an extraordinary defensive action being taken by local authorities. Concord police, fully backed by the city council, are preparing for a horrific terrorist assault. Specifically, they sought a $258,000 grant from the Department of Homeland Security so they can gird themselves for the onslaught by purchasing a “Lenco BearCat G3” armored vehicle. Sure enough, DHS gladly coughed up the cash.

This bold stand to defend the homeland was revealed by the New Hampshire Civil Liberties Union, which obtained a copy of the grant request. Actually, it is not al Qaeda terrorists that have Concord’s police gearing up for war, but, as their request put it, “the domestic type” of terrorists.

Really? Terrorists in Concord? Yes, claim police, referring vaguely to “daily challenges” and warning that the “threat is real and here.”

Who are these domestic demons? The police finger two groups. First, Occupy NH. But it’s a benign bunch that legitimately protests inequalities in our country, and its only “violence” has been directed at litter, having joined in local litter pickup days. Second, the Free State Project. But it’s just a libertarianish outfit trying to convince 20,000 likeminded people to move to New Hampshire and support limited government. How’s that for irony?

Neither group is armed or dangerous, and both are committed to nonviolence. Still, the police insist they need a BearCat G3 because of terrorist threats that might involve “chemical, biological and radiological materials, as well as explosive gases.”

However, the most explosive gas in Concord is spewing directly from the out-of-control police officials who assail their own peaceful citizens as “terrorists.” And the real threat to our security is DHS, which keeps shoveling our tax dollars into the militarization of America’s police forces. In fact, the real motive behind Concord’s desire for this war toy seems to have been BearCat envy — it turns out that the nearby towns of Keene and Manchester already had BearCats, so Concord cops wanted to keep up with the Joneses in the ever-escalating police arms race.

But this ridiculous and dangerous conversion from honest police work to a martial force in our own land is not just a matter of acquiring arms, but of our police departments acquiring a military attitude. An example of this alarming shift can be found in, of all places, the Garden of Eden.