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Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Sarah Palin’s new book Good Tidings and Great Joy: Protecting the Heart of Christmas may not be worth reading, but the reviews of it on are.

The best are effusive in their praise of the half-term governor’s effort to save Christmas from the Grinch and/or the Pope. The top review on the page is the most generous:

“The pinnacle of Western Civilization” by Arken

Finally after millennia of trying to get to the crux of our human condition, a mind of ultimate wisdom powered by a voice of persuasive eloquence brings us the single greatest work to come out of the Western tradition. When you were sleep-walking through school and wondering what was the point of all those hard books — why read Aristotle, why read Sartre, why read Shakespeare? Well, here is the answer. All of those lesser lights were preparing us for this. My only regret is that I have now experienced the highest point of my intellectual life without having prepared myself adequately for it. I will need to revisit the entire Western canon and re-read and re-imagine each classic in light of this truly greatest of classics. What the name “Einstein” meant for the 20th Century as an icon for ultimate intelligence, the name “Palin” will mean for this and for every succeeding century as the ultimate in human achievement. I thank God that I walk the earth in the same era as this greatest of the great. The Palin Era is upon us.”

If that doesn’t convince you to press “Add to Cart,” keep reading.

“My liberal neighbors and friends here in Los Angeles decorate their homes and shop like crazy every Christmas, but I know that it is just a facade. They really are plotting against Christmas,” writes Gilbert Davila. “The shopping and decorating is just to blend in like the 9/11 terrorists. Thank you Mrs. Palin for writing this book and thank you Senator McCain for bringing her into the limelight.”

Clive Hazell wants you to know that Mrs. Palin’s book is “not just for remedial readers.”

Inspired yet?

“I loved every gut-wrenching moment of this book,” says Jeff Wagner. “Sarah has convinced me that this is the year that we just might be able to fight and WIN the war on Christmas!”

(h/t Sko Hayes)

Photo: Gage Skidmore via Flickr

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Copyright 2013 The National Memo
  • Lynda Groom

    Now you have to admit that such a comment is truly funny. I’m sure it sell a million to her adoring fans, which speaks volumes of what passes for good writing and taste these days.

    • Jason Jermaine Smith

      It speaks volumes on what passes for literacy in America these days. I honestly don’t know what is wrong with anyone who would a.) buy this book and then b.) claim it was the pinnacle of western civilization, lmmfao.

      • stcroixcarp

        Relax,,,These reviews were written by The Onion.

        • Jason Jermaine Smith

          I love reading the reviews, but they should’ve rated the book a one star, lol

          • Dana Es

            Will they allow a Minus Star?!

  • KarenJ

    I hope everyone recognizes most of those 5 star reviews are satire, written by folks who are laughing at Sarah Palin’s self-absorption.

    There’s Sarah Palin’s variety of snark, which is mean spirited and nasty and angry — and in these reviews there’s critical snark, which makes fun of Sarah Palin’s most obnoxious displays of cluelessness.

    • TNovak

      I think Arken’s is definitely. Not sure about the others however. But the satire will definitely go over the heads of Palin supporters.

    • ThomasBonsell

      And I had a coworker years ago who dropped out of Harvard Law to become a sports writer/columnist who thought Archie Bunker was a great thinker who told it like it is. He could never understand that Archie was a satirical character used by Norman Lear to mock the right-wing bigots of the world, and that included the sportswriter/columnist.

  • Daniel Jones

    The pinnacle.. you mean it’s all downhill from here?

  • John Pigg

    The war against Christmas is not being waged by some Muslim association advocating multiculturalism or similar ilk.

    The true war against Christmas will be waged immediately following the Thanksgiving, it is also waged by employers refusing to give their employees weekends off, it is waged by parents working overtime to afford buying their children the “gifts they need”.

    The true war against Christian values and decency is being waged by the American god of consumerism.

    • You nailed it. All we’ll hear about shortly are ‘same store sales year over year’ from all the big box retailers & then after the year ends they’ll report more record earnings.
      But the employees need to punch out to use the rest rooms right?
      Got to have the PS4! NO the XBOX One! PS4! XBOX ONE! repeat until crazy.

    • disqus_ivSI3ByGmh

      John, it actually starts on Thanksgiving day. Do your duty and avoid all the stores that are open unless you need to pick up an emergency prescription from your local pharmacy!

    • Dominick Vila

      The war on Christmas -and Christianity – began when greedy monsters proposed, drafted, and signed legislation that facilitates the accumulation of wealth by 1% of our population – who now own 2/3 of our national wealth – at the expense of the remaining 99%.

      • John Pigg

        I disagree,

        you are putting all the blame on corporate America. Average American families, mine included, have put the wrong emphasis on what is important during the Holiday Season. Sure, corporations do deserve some blame. But far more blame should be put on Christian consumers who buy into the marketing, in effort to provide the greatest, latest, and best, for their children.

        We are the problem in this scenario, not the corporations. At least as far as Christmas is concerned.

        • Dominick Vila

          I agree with the point you made, which means that we are among the “monsters” who have forgotten the true spirit of Christmas and the lessons we should have all learned had we paid attention to what Christ said and how he lived his life.

    • Allan Richardson

      As Tom Lehrer (I hope he is still alive) wrote in 1959:

      “On Christmas Day you can’t get sore,
      Your fellow man you must adore.
      There’s time to rob him all the more
      The other three hundred and sixty four!”

      • karen_green

        One of my favorite Lehrer songs is “National Brotherhood Week.”

  • David Cleinman

    Thank you for the biggest laugh I’ve enjoyed in days! Now I can’t wait to read this pinnacle of intellectualism! Thank heaven I am not a remedial reader!

  • Baby_Raptor

    I still don’t understand how substituting one set of words for another constitutes a war. They both mean the same thing.

    The martyrbation level it takes to claim that you’re persecuted when someone uses a cliche’d phrase you don’t like s mind-blowing. It can’t be healthy.

    • Allan Richardson

      Thanks for coining that word “martyrbation!” To think that one of the richest and most powerful groups of organizations in our society (despite including a minority of the population as HARD CORE members) can claim to be oppressed is a travesty of illogic!

  • Dominick Vila

    Had Sarah written and published this book over a decade ago, it would have been the primer that W was reading to children in Florida when 9/11 occurred.

  • melissia

    … Sarah Palin, the pinnacle of civilization?

    I’m going to go cry in utter despair for about three minutes now. It’s the least I can do.

    • Baby_Raptor

      I’m sincerely hoping that comment was sarcasm. Or parody. Or any thing other than Not Serious.

  • Carlos M. Morales

    If her book is ” The pinnacle ” of Western civilisation.. We are very f*ck up ….

  • Brenda


  • sunflower52

    After reading these reviews and seeing that the classics don’t hold a candle to this “book”, well it scared the crap out of me. So, I have decided , after today, to give up reading. A moronic book for moronic people. What will this woman NOT do to feather her nest?

  • latebloomingrandma

    Could these be reviews by writers for the Onion?

  • BeckerHead

    I will NOT, read ANY of the classics ever again.
    “All I know is what I hear on Rush Limpballs Radio, the NRA and watch on Fox
    News; that’s my alibi for my stupidity.”-Becker Head

    • Allan Richardson

      If you MUST read “A Christmas Carol” or view “It’s a Wonderful Life” or “The Sound of Music,” read or view them BACKWARDS, so that Scrooge returns to his stingy ways, Mr. Potter takes over Bedford Falls and the angel Clarence shuts up, and the Trapps end up “trapped” in Nazi Austria. You know, the “conservative” happy ending!

      • John Pigg

        I kinda view George Bailey as a compassionate conservative. But films are subject to interpretation. Still a phenomenal movie. Can’t wait to watch it this year.

  • tscribe9000

    Does it come with its own crayons?

  • disqus_fsqeoY3FsG

    Palin is relevant Why? She is a quitter and a media whore, who only cares about making money and camera angle. Unfortunately she turned her eldest daughter into one.

  • tax payer

    I promise to not purchase her book because maybe a Ghost Writer wrote the Manuscript and someone else gets the credit.

  • wilty707

    The first review by Arken: is this person pulling our leg, sardonically tongue in cheek? Putting Palin in the crowd with Aristotle, Einstein and Shakespeare? You got to be kidding me?! If not, this person just has not a semblance of a grip on reality. I mean gosh, willy gee, I can see Russia from my back yard? Hohohohohohohohohahahahaha!

  • Arcmor

    Looks like Stephen Cobert has started doing Amazon book reviews now

  • “The pinnacle of Western Civilization”

    If Palin is the the pinnacle of western civilization we are in trouble. Doomed to extinction, doomed I say. Come quick Jesus and put us out of our misery.

  • jointerjohn

    She is capitalizing on those many evangelical Christians out there who are wallowing in their own paranoia. They love to feel like victims. Christmas is under no threat, it is alive and well. Its that sugary Ozzie and Harriett make-believe world that they long for. It never really existed except in their imaginations, which is exactly where the threat to Christmas exists. I hope somebody reads it and lets us know how many bogeymen Sarah has created in the book to keep her flock sleeping with the light on.

  • Lovefacts

    God help us. An illiterate re history, geo-politics, world religions, and not to mention a total lack of understanding or compassion for the tens of millions of non-Christian citizens in the US has written a book to educate us on the fictional war on Christmas.

  • MaatMenNefer

    The really hysterical thing about the ‘War on Christmas’ is that the entire Christmas tradition..the date, the tree, the star are all from pagan religions. The date was the birthday of the Unconquered Sun of Mithra, Dec. 25, when the Sun began to move north once again (northern hemisphere of course) the tree was was palm and used by Egyptians on Summer solstice, the winter solstice tree symbolism came from Germany and represented Yggdrasil, the world tree…plenty of those among pagans everywhere BTW..the star represents the three wise men/ may have been the conjunction of Jupiter, Venus, Saturn in Pisces of 04 BCE that was the ‘star’ they were me it is unfortunate that the Christians spend so much time arguing over prohibitions and rules and so few actually follow what Jesus said..the only Jesus they follow is the crucified one…and learn nothing from that either!

    • mikem42

      Whoa big boy, entirely too much information. Let me just keep believing in Santa Claus (St. Nick we call him), and pay homage to the infant Son of God, on the day selected to honor His birth. It is a big celebration, isn’t it? Well, that’s the American way; but many of us do go to church, sing hymns and carols, gather with family in His honor, and do enjoy the holidays known as the Christmas season. It seems like the American way also to make money by declaring a “war on Christmas”, and it has been happening for many years. We can all just not buy into it if we choose. Half governor Palin is just the latest in a long line of frauds on the right to wade into this pool. Merry Christmas and good will to all.

  • Bryan Blake

    Sarah, Sarah your dim light burning obvious but not bright,
    is there anything we can do to rush you into history’s twilight?

    You rise each year to defend Christmas like a dashboard Joan of Arc,
    and we must suffer your annual tirade through your whimper and bark.

    Although Christianity in its various religions has been here two thousand years,
    your Christmas was conjured in newsprint just to assuage a little girl’s fears.

    Please. When your intellectual short knives next rattle in your greedy brain,
    do us all a favor: grab a sweater and go for a walk in the rain!

  • brickman

    The fact that pinnacle was spelled correctly was my first clue the review wasn’t written by a Palin supporter.

  • Jeff in Medford

    For those of you short on corn cobs, there’s a place near the inner sanctum or the throne of every king’s castle for this page-turner!

  • centerroad

    Having to define and divide these special holidays into a political game is counter to their spirit, they are a time for unity, all faiths coming together.

    Thanks gop and Sarah for fracturing us to the core, I won’t even go my very conservative brother’s house anymore during these holidays as he’s turned it into a jesus freak fest.

  • Liberalism is Nonsense

    Since our individual pursuits are guided by our own opinions of conditions and circumstances, and the results of our efforts cannot be predicted, questions regarding the justice of resulting incomes are meaningless.

  • Liberalism is Nonsense

    While many collectivist demands arise from nothing but the anti-social passion of envy, gratifying envy by cloaking it under the veil of “social justice” has become a grave threat to liberty.

  • Bert Fannin

    “Sarah Palin’s New Book Is The ‘Pinnacle Of Western Civilization”. If this is a true statement, then I am afraid, very afraid, that Western Civilization is in deep and abiding trouble!

  • Sand_Cat

    I think the first guy was writing ironically; I realize that there are lots of truly crazy people out there, but it was a bit over the top even for that.