The stories you want. The opinions that matter.
No, thanks
Tag: assisted living
Loved One In Assisted Living? Make Holidays Merry For All

Loved One In Assisted Living? Make Holidays Merry For All

By Debbie Carlson, Chicago Tribune (TNS)

Stress levels during the holidays often increase, and families with a relative residing in an assisted-living facility may fret about how to include the family member in celebrations. Typically, residents in assisted living — as opposed to nursing homes or independent living — are mobile enough to get around, but advanced age or health issues can limit their capabilities.

The burden can be twofold. Many families are unsure whether or not those relatives should leave their residence to join holiday celebrations. Also, they may be concerned about how much time they can or should devote to visit relatives, especially if distance is a factor.

“No matter how much you see your family in assisted living, I think you’re always going to feel like it wasn’t enough,” said Stephanie Zishka, co-owner of BrightStar Care of Fort Wayne and Lafayette, Ind., and a registered nurse. “Don’t beat yourself up if you can’t spend more time.”

Psychologists and administrators in these facilities say it’s important for families to try to balance their other obligations with visits to loved ones during the holidays. Here is some advice to consider.

Consult with the facility staff. Before deciding on whether or not to bring grandma home for the day, ask the facility staff if such a visit would be disruptive to the person or the host family. Zishka and Dr. Ildiko Tabori, a Los Angeles-based licensed clinical psychologist, said facility staff can help you determine if the relative is functioning well enough for a home visit. Additionally, they said, families need to review whether their home is equipped to accommodate the visitor, especially if he or she needs a mobility aid.

Maryann Crenny, administrator and director of operations at FilBen Group, a New York-based developer and manager of assisted-living properties, said to keep in mind that elderly people can tire easily, so be prepared to limit the visit. Don’t expect them to stay more than six hours, and keep early bedtimes in mind. It also would be wise to have someone available to drive them home at any time.

Decorate and deliver holiday reminders. Decorating the family member’s room with appropriate holiday items is recommended. (Check with facility staff for prohibited items.)

For example, Tabori said, “bringing a small Christmas tree, the kind you buy at the drugstore, is nice.”

The same applies to favorite foods. Again, consult with the nursing staff for any dietary restrictions.

Take advantage of technology. Jack York, chief executive of Colorado-based It’s Never 2 Late, which provides senior-friendly technology to assisted-living communities, said there are ways to relive past holidays using slide shows or videos.

For facilities without technology, families can bring in large-screen laptops or tablets. If visiting on-site isn’t possible, York said that facilities equipped with Wi-Fi can accommodate webcams to connect relatives on holidays.

Celebrating there: All ages welcome. Facilities will often have holiday parties and invite families to take part, Crenny said.

“The elderly residents do respond extremely well with children, even if (they’re) not their own. Children really bring residents to life,” she said.

Gifts to go around. When you’re celebrating at their place, don’t just bring presents for your relatives to open. Bring a round of gifts for everyone to open, Tabori said.

“The patient can still watch the enjoyment of a grandchild opening presents,” Tabori said.

It’s the visit that counts, not its length.

“Any sort of visit is good,” Zishka said. “Even a five-minute stop in can have a huge impact.”

Debbie Carlson is a freelance reporter.

©2015 Chicago Tribune. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.

Photo: Holidays with elderly relatives who are in an assisted living facility can present challenges, but the rewards are plentiful, whether you celebrate in their home or yours. (Arina Habich/Fotolia)

Planning To Sell Your House? Then Declutter — Now!

Planning To Sell Your House? Then Declutter — Now!

By Erin E. Arvedlund, The Philadelphia Inquirer (TNS)

PHILADELPHIA — Tom Sauerman and his wife, Sue, are still active in their Philadelphia neighborhood and continue to be members of its seniors club. He is a former president of the community council.

But after 35 years, they made a deliberate decision to sell their beloved home and move into a continuing-care retirement community not far away.

“We moved two years ago, when I was 77 and my wife was 74, and we were both in good health,” Tom Sauerman recalls.

Their journey offers a road map for those contemplating independent- or assisted-living facilities or retirement homes.

Start by developing a plan and a timetable; allow up to two years to complete the process. When selling a house, engage a real estate agent who knows your neighborhood well, and don’t overvalue the property. And finally, Sauerman advises, “start decluttering — now!”

The couple recognized opposing forces at work. One was the urge to stay put.

“We were in good health, so there was no rush. We could wait on selling the house until the market improved, put off all that downsizing work. Our friends thought we were crazy to leave before needing to go anywhere,” he says.

The other was their desire to go forward in life.

“Do it while you’re in control of everything,” he says. “Don’t wait until you have to depend on your kids to help sell the house, make the move or care for the remaining spouse. The sooner you get out from under house and property care, the sooner you can be free of those expenses and concerns, the sooner you can really enjoy retirement and have the time to do what gives you pleasure.”

Financial advisers are a must when shopping for a retirement-home option.

“When I have a client who’s looking at a retirement facility, I tell them that they should insist on getting the financials from that place,” says Mark Blair, founder of Blair Wealth Management, a registered investment adviser.

“People sometimes buy into communities which are poorly managed or go bankrupt. Make sure to have someone with a finance background analyze the establishment’s financial records and ask: Are they overly leveraged? Does the retirement place have a lot of debt? Or are they in good shape?”

Blair has personally dealt with these questions: A sibling with multiple sclerosis lives in a nursing home locally, at a cost of about $13,000 a month.

“Any institution should provide you audited financials,” he says. “If they won’t provide it, look elsewhere. Why should they hide that from you?”

Costs range from $40,000 to $100,000 a year for an independent living community, depending on how upscale you want it to be, says Blair.

A continuing-care retirement community usually requires a purchase of about $400,000, plus maintenance fees.

Assisted-living facilities average yearly costs of $44,000 to $53,000, Blair estimates.

The Sauermans looked at more than a dozen places before settling on Cathedral Village in Philadelphia.

“The first one we liked, we requested its financial reports and sent them to our banker son. He and a nursing-home specialist in his bank’s commercial loan department reviewed them. The facility was heavily financed and could result in sizable annual increases of the monthly fees,” Sauerman says.

Coping With The Clutter

Decluttering “holds people back from starting to act on their future,” Sauerman says.

After 57 years of marriage, the couple had every closet jammed. “Today, we live in a two-bedroom apartment and have yet to find something that we ‘need’ from our former home,” he says.

They began with a “men’s weekend” with two sons and a grandson to initiate the decluttering while Sue Sauerman visited a friend. Tom chose to attack the worst of it: an attic full of clothes, some of which his wife wore in high school. A local theater’s wardrobe mistress took some; the rest went to Goodwill.

The Sauermans invited their entire family the following Christmas for a final visit to the homestead, flying in everyone from Colorado, South Dakota, Illinois, and New York. The couple put everything in the basement and told the relatives to take their pick.

To their shock, little was claimed. “Our choices of china, pictures, knickknacks, furniture, all that, were as different to them as our parents’ and grandparents’ possessions were to us when we were their age,” he says.

A Long Process

They reviewed everything in three passes over many months. First, they threw out things they didn’t want to take with them and that were of little value. Next, they sorted things of enough value to be sold. Then they faced the reality of that two-bedroom apartment. Valuable items went to an auction house; the piano, to a piano dealer.

“It’s painful to realize that your family members don’t value your treasures as much as you do. It’s unsettling to put them up for sale at a tenth of their original price. … If you try to get what you consider as ‘full value,’ you’ll go crazy,” Sauerman says.

Instead, focus on the pleasure and use that these things provided, he says. “You can’t move forward with all this ‘stuff’ holding you back.”

Photo: Tom and Sue Sauerman moved to a retirement community before they needed to. “We were in good health,” Tom Sauerman said, “so there was no rush. We could wait on selling the house until the market improved.” (Philadelphia Inquirer/TNS)