Tag: relationship
Couples And Credit Scores: Is It A Match?

Couples And Credit Scores: Is It A Match?

Dear Readers: Imagine this scenario: Over a wonderful dinner, you and your sweetheart have discussed the future, what you each want out of life, your dream house, the possibility of a family, and everything seems to be pointing to your happiness. Then, the love of your life graciously offers to pick up the tab, hands over a credit card — and the card isn’t accepted. And then a second credit card gets the same response. Oops. Should warning bells go off? Or at least a caution light?

I’ve always believed that finance and romance should go hand in hand, and that couples need to be as open and honest about their financial feelings as they are about everything else. In fact, a study released last summer by researchers at the Brookings Institution, the Federal Reserve Board and UCLA narrows the financial focus for couples down to a very quantifiable number: your credit score. The study proposes that matching high credit scores can indicate not only financial compatibility but also a strong romantic match.

So, as Valentine’s Day approaches, I thought I’d give my readers’ love lives a potential boost by talking about the best way to boost their credit scores. Because if there’s one thing that can dampen the romance in a relationship, it’s not being able to get that loan or that mortgage — or even that perfect job — due to lousy credit.

Five Steps to Better Credit

Before we get into how to build a better credit score, let’s talk about why it’s important. Your credit score isn’t just about your ability to borrow money. It can affect many aspects of your life. Some companies use credit scores in making hiring decisions, landlords can use credit scores to screen rental applicants, and some insurance companies use your credit score to help determine your premium.

Plus, negative credit information generally stays on your credit report for seven years, so mishandling credit today can haunt you in years to come.

What can you do now? If you don’t know your current score, you can purchase it from one of the three major credit bureaus — Equifax, Experian, or TransUnion. Or better yet, some credit card issuers will provide credit scores for free, so be sure to check with your provider first. To put things into perspective, the top score is 850, the median is 725, and 760 or higher will typically qualify you for the best deals. Then, whatever your score, take these steps to keep it as high as possible:

–Pay your bills on time. Paying your bills on time and in full where possible is the best thing you can do. This alone accounts for about 35 percent of your score.

–Use credit cards with care. How much and how often you borrow makes up 30 percent of your score. Keep your credit card balances low — no more than 25 percent of your available limit.

–Increase the length of your credit history. The longer you have credit — and use it wisely — the better your score. Your history accounts for 15 percent of your score.

–Minimize new credit requests. Applying for multiple credit cards or loans in a given period of time can lower your score. New credit requests account for 10 percent.

–Hold different kinds of credit. About 10 percent of your score depends on the type of credit used. A consumer with revolving debt i.e., credit cards, a car loan, and a mortgage, and who keeps up payments, will have a higher score than someone who uses just one form of credit.

Why Couples Should Talk About This

I believe the way people handle money says a lot about them. It can indicate a sense of responsibility or lack of one. It can suggest how trustworthy a person is. And it can reveal attitudes about planning and working toward a goal. Ultimately, how you handle money reflects your values.

All of these things are relative and difficult to quantify, but a credit score is pretty tangible. Of course, your score can be affected by things out of your control. For instance, if you lose your job, you may end up being late on your bills. But if one partner in a relationship can’t handle debt, consistently runs up bills he or she can’t pay, or regularly falls behind on everyday financial obligations resulting in a low credit score, that can be a harbinger of future financial problems — and perhaps future relationship problems as well.

Making a Good Financial Match

So, if Valentine’s Day has you lovingly planning your future together, make sure you’re also financially compatible. Talk about your finances and your individual expectations. Lay it all out on the table: what you own, what you owe, your individual and mutual financial goals, and how you’ll share every-day and long-term financial responsibilities. Get your personal credit scores. If one of you has a lower score, talk about why this is, what this means, and how you can work together to raise it.

Whether it’s saving, paying off debt, buying a house or paying for a child’s education, today’s perfect romance will be affected by the future financial issues of having a life together — for better or worse. You can make it better by talking about these issues now, boosting your individual credit scores, and perhaps, at the same time, increasing your chances for a long and happy relationship.

Carrie Schwab-Pomerantz, Certified Financial Planner, is board chairwoman and president of the Charles Schwab Foundation and author of “The Charles Schwab Guide to Finances After Fifty.” Read more at http://schwab.com/book. You can email Carrie at askcarrie@schwab.com. For more updates, follow Carrie on LinkedIn and Twitter (@CarrieSchwab). This column is no substitute for individualized tax, legal or investment advice. Where specific advice is necessary or appropriate, consult with a qualified tax adviser, CPA, financial planner or investment manager. To find out more about Carrie Schwab-Pomerantz and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
COPYRIGHT 2016 CHARLES SCHWAB & CO., INC. MEMBER SIPC.
DIST BY CREATORS SYNDICATE, INC. (0216-0472)

Photo: A couple holds hands on the beach. Flickr User Terrell Woods https://www.flickr.com/photos/terrellcwoods/8976772514/

Relationships: Anxiety Reduction Techniques

Relationships: Anxiety Reduction Techniques

By Barton Goldsmith, McClatchy-Tribune News Service

When you are feeling anxious, there are a number of things you can do to decrease the tension and get back to life as you know it. Remember that you can feel panic even if the source of your anxiety is not immediately present, because sometimes stress just floats out there for a little while, trying to get your attention.

Fear can control us, but you have more power over it than you may think. Here are a few exercises you can do to feel better about yourself in anxious situations.

Get your anxiety out on the table: If you are in a relationship, you can do this exercise with your partner. You also can do it with anyone in your life who is a good listener.

Step 1: Look at and talk about the worst-case scenario. Get all your feelings and fears out on the table. Be sure to discuss what you’d do in the worst-case scenario and how serious the consequences would be.

Step 2: Talk about the best-case scenario and revel in all that it brings you. Take a moment to really soak in all of the positive changes that may happen.

Step 3: Look at what’s most likely to happen. While you can’t be certain, it’s reasonable to expect that most of these scenarios will fall somewhere in the middle of the worst- and best-case scenario. Remember that the results are also largely dependent on what you make of what happens.

Going through this process will decrease any anxiety you may be feeling and help you embrace the positives in your life. Taking this tried-and-true action will yield positive results.

Be proactive about your anxiety. Some people take supplements like fish oil, or they drink chamomile tea to help them relax. Daily exercise is also a great anxiety reducer. So is meditation, if you would rather be less physically active.

Avoid the news and watch a comedy instead. Events you see on TV or read in the papers may trigger your anxiety. I’m not suggesting you live in a cave, but if you are having a nervous day, it might be best to do something more pleasant than watching the news. Once you learn what brings on your anxiety, it will help you avoid the unexpected bouts.

Remember the places that make you feel peaceful inside. Being by water or in nature is very calming for many people. Sometimes reading a book by the pool can be as good as reading one in the mountains. The trick is to find and then remember the places that make you feel most peaceful, and the next time anxiety hits you, go to a quiet spot and just imagine yourself back in your peaceful place. I know it sounds too simple, but it works very well.

Get your day going right. When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do is a brief meditation. Simply visualizing a peaceful day ahead and reminding myself that I am safe are helpful little tools that can make the difference between a nervous day and one of tranquility. I use this meditation technique throughout the day whenever necessary.

You don’t have to be a victim of anxiety. If these exercises don’t give you enough relief, please see a medical professional. Many medications can be helpful, and even if you don’t like the idea of pills, just talking with a doctor can be reassuring.

bottled_void via Flickr

Pakistan-U.S. Relationship Grows More Strained

The relationship between the United States and Pakistan is growing more tense, as the latter looks to strengthen its ties with neighbor China instead. As Reuters reports:

Pakistan warned the United States on Tuesday to stop accusing it of playing a double game with Islamist militants and heaped praise on “all-weather friend” China.

Prime Minister Yusuf Raza Gilani, speaking exclusively to Reuters, said any unilateral military action by the United States to hunt down militants of the Haqqani network inside Pakistan would be a violation of his country’s sovereignty.

However, he side-stepped questions on the tense relations with the United States and offered no indications of any steps Pakistan might take to soothe the fury in Washington.

The outgoing chairman of the joint chiefs of staff, Admiral Mike Mullen, last week described the Haqqani network, the most violent faction among Taliban militants in Afghanistan, as a “veritable arm” of Pakistan’s ISI spy agency and accused Islamabad of providing support for the group’s September 13 attack on the U.S. embassy in Kabul.

“The negative messaging, naturally that is disturbing my people,” Gilani said in the interview from his office in Islamabad. “If there is messaging that is not appropriate to our friendship, then naturally it is extremely difficult to convince my public. Therefore they should be sending positive messages.”

Since Mullen’s comments, Pakistan has launched a diplomatic counter-attack and attempted to drum up support from its strongest ally in the region, China.

Pakistani officials have been heaping praise on China since its public security minister arrived here on Monday for high-level talks.

“We are true friends and we count on each other,” Gilani said in separate comments broadcast on television networks after talks with Meng Jianzhu on Tuesday.

The United States is all too familiar with the complications that result from a close relationship with Pakistan. Navy Adm. Mike Mullen has recently been vocal in criticizing Pakistan for “exporting violence” to Afghanistan and undermining U.S. anti-terrorism efforts there.

These concerns are not unique to the United States. As Pakistan moves further away from the United States and closer to China, the tricky issue of Pakistan-trained militants has created controversy in their relationship as well. In August, China pointed to Pakistan after Pakistani-trained militants launched deadly attacks in western China. Even so, the bond between the countries has been growing, as shown when a top Chinese security official visited Pakistan this week. Whether the Chinese will fully realize how complicated it is to maintain close diplomatic and military ties to Pakistan is yet to be seen.