Smart. Sharp. Funny. Fearless.
Sunday, October 23, 2016

In conservative “humor,” only the words “Joe Biden” elicit more laughter than “teleprompter” or mentioning “Al Gore” when it’s cold. Just his name makes Republicans giggle the way most of America would if we were watching Sarah Palin, Herman Cain, Sharron Angle, Todd Akin and Miley Cyrus attempt to pass the U.S. naturalization/citizenship test.

In actual humor, Joe Biden is a ’70s-style icon who is so American he perspires Budweiser all over the leather upholstery of his freshly waxed TransAm.

Thus when the vice president said he was likely to run for president in 2016, everybody smiled. But Republicans became giddier than a Romney after two Frappuccinos. Bill Murphy — who worked on the Romney campaign and is now on the staff of the National Republican Senatorial Committee — tweeted this:


Biden is such a joke that he might as well run with a Twitter account that exists to mock Republicans. Instead of wit, this “joke” relies on a Pavlovian trigger that requires you to believe the subject is laughable before the joke is made. It’s the same mechanism by which any utterance of #Benghazi provokes right-wing outrage, just because it does.

But what the right doesn’t get is that to anyone who isn’t in the Fox Newsosphere, where anyone who upsets Democrats — from George Zimmerman to the Duck Dynasty guy — is a hero, there isn’t one GOP frontrunner who is taken even remotely as seriously as Joe Biden.

Need proof, Republicans?

Mitt Romney — star of a new movie about how he genially lost the presidency by 5 million votes — is leading the GOP pack in New Hampshire. This was a guy Republicans spent six years trying not to nominate and will only ever be the president of the Vladimir Putin fan club.

Governor Chris Christie (R-NJ) has destroyed his position as the media’s favorite for the Republican nomination with a flurry of scandals that now have him doing damage control on his damage control. Bridgegate broke just days after the governor signed his DREAM Act as his first step toward an actual Republican campaign that flirts with centrism. And what did Christie’s head-fakes to the center — in between cutting services, defunding Planned Parenthood and cutting taxes on the rich — earn him? Few Republicans stepping forward to defend him.

Now, as head of the Republican Governors Association, Christie’s traveling the country, raising money and forcing Republican governors to change their schedules to avoid him. Who wants to be the guy standing next to him when the next scandal hits?

But let’s say he does recover. Now the GOP has a Romney with hollow support from the base, and whose chief qualification is yelling at teachers in public. And he would still be a better candidate than his nemesis Senator Rand Paul (R-KY), who has disqualified himself from the presidency in so many ways that Governor Rick Perry (R-TX) lost track months ago.

Bloomberg‘s Jonathan Bernstein believes the senator’s non-interventionist foreign policy views will disqualify him from the GOP primary, despite the vast presidential campaign machine Paul inherited from his father. The Tea Party hero also inherits his father’s history of racist newsletters and connections to fringe groups that are now fair game, thanks to the way Paul has attacked Bill Clinton.

Click here for reuse options!
Copyright 2014 The National Memo
  • Jeffrey Swainhart

    That is some entertaining reading.

  • nestazhe265

    My Uncle Zachary
    recently got a 9 month old Mercedes-Benz CL-Class CL63 AMG only from working
    off a home pc… go now B­u­z­z­3­2­.­ℂ­o­m

  • disqus_ivSI3ByGmh

    Natural Selection? Isn’t that just like Evolution? Republicans don’t believe in that, either. Otherwise they would learn from their mistakes and actually nominate someone who could win without Karl Rove stuffing ballot boxes.

    • Dominick Vila

      …or hanging/pregnant chads…

  • Lisa

    Very funny and accurate read.
    Not only are the candidates a joke, their whole party is hysterical that a black man is in the White House. The GOP has been reduced to a laughing stock of their own doing.

    • texasgoat

      PS, Lisa you wouldn’t make a good pimple on Cruz’s ass.

      • Angela Walker

        And people with minds like texasgoat are yet another reason the GOP won’t take the White House. Again.

  • Bill Boltz

    The 2016 GOP primary is going to resemble a WWF event. I can’t wait….

    • Sand_Cat

      In addition to the points made by others, there’s another good reason not to laugh this off: it should be profoundly disturbing to realize that it is even possible to gerrymander districts sufficiently to assure safe seats for these lunatics, i.e., that there enough people who buy this crap to make them competitive anywhere. And if that doesn’t scare you, remember that many if not most of those belligerent morons are heavily armed and apparently none too stable mentally.

      • Bill Boltz

        Damn…’re absolutely right, Sand_Cat……heavily armed too? Let’s hope they all go hunting with Dick Cheney.

        • Sand_Cat

          A noble wish; maybe we could have a couple of quails placed within a circle formed by the hunting party!

          • Bill Boltz

            LMFAO!!! Happy Hump-day Sand_Cat!!

  • Dominick Vila

    The worst problem facing the GOP is not the fact that they don’t have any viable candidates, but that the Democratic party has to many that even if they attack and distort the credibility of one we have plenty of backups to choose from. Consider this field: Hillary Clinton, Joe Biden, Elizabeth Warren. Jerry Brown, and the list goes on. In contrast, the GOP has a cadre of nut heads that scare the living daylights of most rational people…and a foreigner who is ineligible to run, if our Constitution is still relevant.

  • Bryan Blake

    Just as an Elvis wannabe from Canada can be sold to “tweens” Republicans can sell any face of crap to their base. Recent history has shown that it is money that determines who becomes president – on either side. They may be a joke but enough money turns almost any GOP presidential contender into a serious political threat. Just like the little Elvis wannabe’s antics amuse and endear him to his audience the GOP base screams like tweens at a pop concert on cue! Remember that the last successful GOP president was Ronald Reagan starring in the greatest role of his life. In that they could make Reagan into a president caused the Democratic Party to vomit its DLC ideology and to destroy its own base. With enough money they can twist anyone of their idiots into Ronald Reagan 2.0!

  • JDavidS

    Christie, Cruz, Romney??? Throw in Newt the Nut, Palin and Bachmann and you’ve got a comedy troop better than Saturday Night Live. God, I hope it happens. America needs a laugh!

    • FredAppell

      Although I agree with you, I can’t help thinking that the right may actually have a chance of pulling it off. All it will take is for one of the field of GOP loonies to strike the right chord with Americans that are fed up and reasonable people such as ourselves will be left wondering what the hell went wrong. I never thought they’d be able to hang onto a congressional majority in 2012 either but they did. NEVER UNDERESTIMATE STUPID!

      • Yvette White

        You May have a point but here’s there Problem they can not help saying something stupid that it cost them every-time one of them opens there mouth there go’s the whole thing, Can they Stop for a moment and here some of the Dumb Shit that comes out of there mouths, do they ever listen to what they are saying?

        • FredAppell

          Oh but they do. You’re a reasonable, intelligent person so I assume you’re very careful about who you give your vote to, however, don’t assume that the GOP is operating with the same M.O.

          Many of the GOP constituency are ready to press reset on this entire social experiment we call a Democratic Republic. they hate the direction we’re going in (too bad they don’t realize that the GOP is half responsible) and they’re willing to vote against their own interests simply because they can’t stand
          liberals. Look at it this way, for them, it’s not so much that they agree entirely with their candidates, it’s more about voting against Democrats. That pretty much sums up the mindset of the right wing. In the end, it’s more about the policies, not what the candidates say.

          I personally know some of these lunkheads, they’re extremely exhausting to be around.

    • bunthead

      Hey! Don’t leave Clint Eastwood out of this.

  • TripleAyes

    “Natural Selection” – That was like a nuke going off in conservative heads after 100 cannon blasts.

  • darkagesbegin

    you don’t think they’ll have those primary debates again, do you? I mean that would be the ultimate “not learning from my mistakes” move.

    • plc97477

      Do they look like people who can learn from their mistakes.

  • howa4x

    Seems the clown car is ready to roll again. With their throwback policies and mean spirited attitudes to those less fortunate, continued war on women’s private parts and inability to appeal to anyone not part of the base, the republicans are already hitting the self destruct button.

  • elw

    How very true, the second Party in our two Party system is a joke. But, do not let that fool you into relaxing for the next couple of elections and more, they are not completely dead yet, have a lot of nasty tricks up their sleeves and money to carry them out. More now than ever we need to work hard to keep reducing their power in the legislative branch of the Government and out of the White House. VOTE and make sure everyone you know does as well.

  • Lynda Groom

    The usual suspects full of piss and vinegar, but having nothing of value to add to the national conversation. Just like 2012 I’m afraid. It would be nice if we had a reality based two party system, but we don’t.

  • Felix Ray

    Incidentally, tomorrow will be the day that Joe Biden breaks Dick Chaney’s record for being vice president without shooting anyone in the face.

    • daniel bostdorf

      LOL—-but he holds record for foot in mouth 🙂

  • Jimmy Agler

    The problem in front of the 2016 GOP field is their own policy stances. Not one of them can win moderates and independents AFTER winning over the “base”(far right wing). Romney demonstrated this clearly, he had to go full on conservative to survive the primaries and he attempt to move to the center after winning the nomination was seen for what it was. A guy willing to say anything depending on what crowd he was in front of. Now before the right side posters all jump up and down on me, yes democrats do it too. So do independents,libertarians,greens and every other party candidate. But you have to be able to sell it and these guys either can’t sell themselves as palatable to moderates(Paul,Walker,Ryan) or have no interest in even trying(Cruz,Rubio,Santorum etc).

  • bhaggen

    The whole “hope & change” administration has evolved into a complete joke so as Hillary put it: “At this point what difference does it make” THE worst economic recovery in history! The U.S. has gone from world power to laughing stock. Obama is Putin’s bitch! WHO’S your daddy! Pitiful Americans.

    • daniel bostdorf

      “thank you for your point of view”
      My advice is to stick to sports analysis and go back to posting at Laker’s Nation.

      • bhaggen

        Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind.

        • daniel bostdorf

          ..“thank you for your point of view”

    • Sand_Cat

      No, it is those like you who are a laughingstock of the world, and “the worst economic recovery in history” is not only dubious, but delayed by your fellow lunatics in Congress with their sudden concern about deficits: after they all jumped onboard with Dick Cheney’s “deficits don’t matter.”
      If that’s all you’ve got, I’m not even sure you’re fit to do sports analysis; Dan’s just being kind.

      • bhaggen

        So now we’re quoting Dick”Vader”Cheney? Good call! And what did Sen Obama say about Vader’s “deficits don’t matter”? “It’s totally irresponsible!”…..Analyze this!

        • daniel bostdorf

          “thank you for your point of view”

      • daniel bostdorf

        Hey Sandcat—it’s a troll 🙂

        Social media troll as someone who seeks to lure or bait people into negative, disruptive rhetoric for their own edification or to commandeer an otherwise free-flowing discussion among colleagues…..So how should you deal with trolls?
Ignore them. Trolls exist for the spotlight. Often ignoring them will either make them simply go away or they’ll say even more ridiculous things making them look foolish and desperate…..

    • daniel bostdorf

      “thank you for your point of view” .. .. ..

  • DoctorFaustroll

    I can’t wait until the COP nominates Alan West as part of their outreach and suggests he is a trannie

  • texasgoat

    I remember when the National memo was saying how dirty and disgusting was smoking….now we learn how whole sum anal sex has become.

    • daniel bostdorf

      “thank you for your point of view”

  • docb

    AMEN x 2!