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Sunday, June 24, 2018

Welcome to “This Week In Crazy,” The National Memo’s weekly update on the wildest attacks, conspiracy theories, and other loony behavior from the increasingly unhinged right wing. Starting with number five:

5. Bryan Fischer

Much like his friends at Fox News, American Family Association mouthpiece Bryan Fischer is deeply concerned about Alton Nolen, the Oklahoma man who allegedly beheaded a woman last week.

According to Fischer, there can only be one explanation for such a horrific crime: Satan.

“Remember that it was in Oklahoma City where the city fathers said ‘you can have your Satanic ritual in the heart of our city,'” Fischer said on the Tuesday edition of his radio show, in reference to a controversial protest in the state’s capital. “And then literally, I mean this literally, ladies and gentlemen, all Hell has broken loose in the state of Oklahoma. Oklahoma City allows a Satanic ritual and all of a sudden, we start hearing about people having their head cut off in the name of the demon god Allah. Just a coincidence? I’ll leave it up to you to make up your own mind”

Of course, purging Oklahoma of Satan sounds like an awful lot of work. So instead, to prevent further murders, Fischer suggests his favorite solution to most problems: Cracking down on immigrants.

“I think our policy toward Islam should be the same as our policy toward Ebola,” he explained on Wednesday, suggesting that we seal the border. “Now we ought to be saying exactly the same thing about people who come from Muslim-majority countries, because we have no way of knowing who might be carrying the decapitation virus.”

“We have no way to tell, we’ve got no kind of scanning device that can identify whether the decapitation virus is in you, whether it’s alive in you, whether it’s going to erupt,” he added.