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Saturday, December 3, 2016

Welcome to “This Week In Crazy,” The National Memo’s weekly update on the wildest attacks, conspiracy theories, and other loony behavior from the increasingly unhinged right wing. Starting with number five:

5. Bryan Fischer

Much like his friends at Fox News, American Family Association mouthpiece Bryan Fischer is deeply concerned about Alton Nolen, the Oklahoma man who allegedly beheaded a woman last week.

According to Fischer, there can only be one explanation for such a horrific crime: Satan.

“Remember that it was in Oklahoma City where the city fathers said ‘you can have your Satanic ritual in the heart of our city,'” Fischer said on the Tuesday edition of his radio show, in reference to a controversial protest in the state’s capital. “And then literally, I mean this literally, ladies and gentlemen, all Hell has broken loose in the state of Oklahoma. Oklahoma City allows a Satanic ritual and all of a sudden, we start hearing about people having their head cut off in the name of the demon god Allah. Just a coincidence? I’ll leave it up to you to make up your own mind”

Of course, purging Oklahoma of Satan sounds like an awful lot of work. So instead, to prevent further murders, Fischer suggests his favorite solution to most problems: Cracking down on immigrants.

“I think our policy toward Islam should be the same as our policy toward Ebola,” he explained on Wednesday, suggesting that we seal the border. “Now we ought to be saying exactly the same thing about people who come from Muslim-majority countries, because we have no way of knowing who might be carrying the decapitation virus.”

“We have no way to tell, we’ve got no kind of scanning device that can identify whether the decapitation virus is in you, whether it’s alive in you, whether it’s going to erupt,” he added.

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100 Responses to This Week In Crazy: Michelle Obama Used To Be A Man, And The Rest Of The Worst Of The Right

  1. A number of months ago, one of our Republican contributors sent in a post to the National Memo, with a link provided, about this story concerning Michelle Obama being a man named Michael LaVaughn Robinson earlier in life. The link to the story about this also had that same football picture in it.

    I’ve always been impressed with Michelle Obama, but this story and picture…well, it just took it to another level. I still think her good looks and physical conditioning are unbelievable for a roughly 84 year old post-op transsexual who apparently spent her youth playing linebacker for the 1950 Oregon State Beavers. Add in that heshe may have even been able to conceive his/her own children, if the Morocco thing doesn’t pan out, and you truly have a Norman Rockwell only in America story. Possibly patterned after two of his least popular paintings, “Sweetheart of the locker room” and “A boy’s first manicure.”

    I’ll tell you. Barack sure knows how to pick ’em.

    • I noticed the lack of a face guard, too. I’m surprised they didn’t go a bit further back to the leather helmet days and claim that Michelle has a brain injury because of what she wore on her head. After all, trying to promote childhood nutrition could only be the idea of someone who’s had a lot of concussions.

      • Yeah I don’t get that either TZ. The way the right goes on and on about it, you’d think that fried chicken, french fries and burgers were constitutional, founding fathers food or something. Even school lunch is political. I think the way conservatives must see it is, if American children get healthier, the terrorists have won.

      • What End of your so-called brain came out first! It Had to be your BUTT so you should set on your Head because your Butt has more Sense so take a hint form it and SET ON your HeaaaD you wouldn’t be able to OPEN youe Stupid MOUTH.

        • Ma Black, you are a disgusting,hateftul person, and if you misread someone, I can see why. You are obviously not an educated person. Shame on you. You sound more like a hateful t-partier to me.

  2. All B.I.W. suffices to prove is something we’ve already known right from the start: That the Tory mofos literally cannot have enough reasons to hate Obama. His dog can’t even fart without those miserable sacks spinning a ridiculous conspiracy theory out of it.

  3. The bizarre statements made routinely by so many Republicans would be funny, if they were not such a compelling evidence of mental disorder or hatred, so intense, that it could easily go beyond mere rhetoric and into something much more dangerous.
    From references to Allah, which means God in Arabic, to the preferred way of handling the destiny of small Central American children, to the sickening claims about the gender of the First Lady of the United States, what is glaringly obvious is that the hatred directed at President Obama, his family, and Democrats in general go well beyond what passes for electioneering tactics in American politics.
    Perhaps my memory is failing me, but I don’t recall Democrats making claims about President Reagan’s wife, President George H.W. Bush’s wife, or President George W. Bush’s wife. I don’t recall Democrats questioning the ancestry or place of birth of their children either which, by the way, do not appear on because that genealogical resource has a time limit to protect the identity of living persons. The best most of us can expect, when using Ancestry, is to find the names of our grandparents. In any case, the most benign conclusion I can think of is that what so many Republicans are doing and saying is sickening, and a sign of how devoid of intellectual acumen, relevant experience and a record, and a vision they are.

    • Dominick, they are republicans. It is better to have more brains than having mega dollars in the Bank and at the same time being crazy.

      • In all fairness, most prominent Republicans refrain from making statements like the ones these idiots make. Some have gone as far as resigning or not running for re-election because they no longer relate with what the neo-conservatism stands for or the bizarre statements that opportunists make, and so many Americans believe and even cheer. The saddest part for me is not so much what these nuts say, but the fact that thousands of Americans applaud and believe what they are saying. Civility, fairness, and the truth are, clearly, conspicuous by their absence among those who concept of governance is not too dissimilar from those employed by the Third Reich and other examples of overt tyranny throughout the course of history.

          • Both deserve to be blamed, but while the alleged “politicians” can claim that their rhetoric is influenced by a desire to win, the listeners that enjoy this kind of garbage have no excuse. Consider this, if nobody paid attention to these idiots they would simply go away, or would have no choice but to change tactics. They do it because they know they have an audience, which does not say much for either.
            As for traditional conservatives such as McCain and Lindsay, I have never heard them say that comes even close to statements like this. It would be nice, however, if they made an unambiguous statement denouncing this kind of behavior, leaving no doubt that the GOP does not endorse or condone it. I don’t expect that to happen in a midterm election year. The crazies may belong in an insane asylum, but as long as they can vote the GOP will look the other way and will continue to ignore what is happening.

          • Part of it is when the t-party managed to put people in Washington, the good Republicans got scared. You can almost see John Boehner’s fear.

          • BOTH! Who, in their right mind. would believe all this BS if both parties, people and candidates, weren’t pure nutso!!

    • I do recall thinking, at some point, that Dubya and Darth might try to cancel elections due to some sort of national emergency. I also thought that the dangerous duo might reveal OBL’s corpse on the eve of the 2004 election. Is my paranoia showing? It’s not hard to see evil in the enemy’s eyes, but sometimes you’re just looking in the mirror.

      • I was concerned that the 2004, or if not, the 2008 Democratic National Convention would be held in Guantanamo, because all the Democrats would be there already.

      • I can see where you might have thought that. It was the first time in history that the “Supreme” court selected a president.

    • I could not agree with you more, What other country would allow someone to try to demean the First Lady of their country and her Children the way Fox and their co-horts tries to disrespect them, ,,but only disrespects themselves. The Hate I see in them is equal to what I see in the Middle East.. No wonder other countries want to destroy the USA. It is Nasty,small Coward minded Imbeciles like those creatures that seems to be a Disease like Ebola that tries to infect and destroy humanity as we know it.. The only cure for it is a reborn mind and self love. I surely admire the President and His Family. They conduct themselves with poise a constraint while the animals bite at their heels .But come to think of it animals belong at humans feet. God made me to walk up right with respect for themselves and others. They should try it it just might make a difference in their walk of life.

      • not realy hate as much as greed and stupidity they get paid to preach the lies and bonuses for coming up with something new and different

    • As a member of Congress, he should be aware that census records are confidential for more than an average lifetime (70, 75 or 80 years, or something like that), and uses census records as its primary source.

      • Genealogy has been my hobby since I retired about 12 years ago. I have used Ancestry extensively and, as you pointed out, the information they make available is restricted, in the case of contemporaries, as a result of the Privacy Act. Ancestry uses census as well as records of vital statistics, not only in the USA, but in all the countries that give them access to that type of information. It is a wonderful resource, but those who use it must be careful when they copy data posted by other researchers. Mistakes abound.
        Indeed, politicians are – or should be – aware of the privacy act, and should not assume that when they cannot find information on living people it is because they must have been born in Morocco, Kenya or Indonesia.
        In addition to ignorance and opportunism, it is evident that the statements made by people, such as those highlighted in this article, are influenced by intense hatred and absolute lack of moral values or humanity.

  4. 5. Bryan Fischer: When this mental midget refers to Satin is he looking in the mirror?

    4. Louie Gohmert: Perhaps the “Good Christian Tea Partier” and his friends should go over and assist the 3,000 troops that Obama sent to western Africa to provide medical and logistical support to the nations fighting Ebola.

    3. Kennedy: It would appear our Education System failed this woman or she lacked the ability to absorb what she was taught.

    2. Ben Carson: Paranoia much Dr. Carson or are you on medication or are you showing early signs of dementia.

    1. Before It’s News: This will be the new scandal that Fox News will cover nonstop for a months demanding a Special Congressional Committee be formed to investigate these new allegations of the First Lady’s gender transformation and
    the subsequent adoption of the girls.

    • Michelle’s gender has been in question as long as the Emperors birth certificate has. Nothing new. Considering very little is know about the first family, and most everything that is known is from the regime, just how much is true? All of his records are sealed, and his life seems to have been manufactured. The truth will come out, hopefully sooner than later, so we can get rid of this embarrassment.
      I’m not so sure Ben is wrong about the 2016 elections. I doubt the regime will give up its power, just because of a little thing called law. Laws are meaningless to this regime.

      • Hahahahahahahahaha…Ahahahahahahahaha…can”t stop laughing! You need to do stand-up (comedic absurdity)!
        Rolf…can’t stop the tears 🙂

      • Maybe you and your fellow TP’s are doing this but rational and sane people know this to be just another crock of bs generated by some delusional moron. Your claim of little being
        known about the 1st family is just another example of your inadequate research (if any) or just outright lying again. Now you alias is kenndeb, are your a transsexual, in the process of gender reclassification or just a confused liar?

        • This is a fully transparent administration as promised? The Emperors records are sealed. Has there been another American president with all his records sealed? There are many questions surrounding this regime. We aren’t even sure that the Emperor is an American. He sure does not act like an American. He is anti American. His birth certificate is still in question. Even his real name is in question. Didn’t he use the name Barry Soetoro when he applied for student aid? So many questions and so few reliable answers. You may choose to believe everything you are told, but many of Americans do not.
          I am not confused about anything, but you sure seem to be.

          • “We aren’t even sure that the Emperor is an American.”

            Then you are either stupid or willfully ignorant.

            He has a parent who is a US citizen. That makes him a US citizen.

          • this troll ken is one of the most ignorant and limited trolls. His comments are always President Obama is an Emperor and all Liberals lie. When challenged about his alleged “facts” he either disappears or states it’s his opinion.

          • “His birth certificate is still in question” only to you and Donald Trump, by the way what happened to his investigation?

            “We aren’t even sure that the Emperor is an American. He sure does not act like an American.” His long form birth certificate provides his birth place as Hawaii, a US state since 1959, for you trolls that’s 2 years after 1959. As for acting like an American, this is another of your non-provable bs comments. There are over 300 MM people in this country, so claiming there is some typical way an American acts is ridiculous, we all act in ways similar and different from other Americans.

            “Didn’t he use the name Barry Soetoro when he applied for student aid?” In a quick answer “No”. Here is some info from Occidental College – ”

            Occidental has no record of a “Barry Soetoro” ever attending [Occidental], nor was there ever any such court order [requiring the school to turn over his transcripts], said Jim Tranquada, Occidental College’s communications director, who personally answers the inquiries, demands and pleas of people looking for proof that the president is not who he claims to be.

            Tranquada said: “Contemporary public documents, such as the 1979-80 freshman ‘Lookbook’ [a guide distributed to incoming freshman] published at the beginning of President Obama’s first year at Occidental, list him as Barack Obama. All of the Occidental alumni I have spoken to from that era (1979-81) who knew him, knew him as Barry Obama.” You keep continuing to be either a cowardly liar or just a lazy researcher. You are so obvious in your hatred of “President Obama” that you will write anything about him that is so easy to disprove. Nice job liar.

  5. So according to Louis Gohmert acts of international charity and humanity are manifestations of that horrible “political correctness”. I can see why his brand of modern day republican would want to demonize kindness. Heck, an outbreak of sympathy and understanding for the unfortunate amongst the American people could wipe that mean, bigoted, greedy, self-serving evil party right into the history books.

  6. These people really are crazy. I think the biggest threat to the future of this country is mental illness. It’s definitely getting worse. What could be causing it? Pollutants in our air and water? Chemicals in our food?

    • It is a big threat to our country. I wondered if it weren’t a result of the dumbing down of our entertainment media. Instead of putting money into intelligent programming, greed took over. We get a bunch of reality shows. We’ve sunk to watching things like Honey Boo Boo, Duck Dynasty, and a bunch of shows where you spend time peeking through windows. Boring, boring, boring.

    • I have to believe that they say these things to get their five minutes of fame! Otherwise, this country is in big trouble with all the crazies trying to get into public office!

  7. The Obama children look like their parents. I got accused of hysteria by bringing up that Ebola was not bound to stay on the African Continent and it is no surprise that it has made its way across the water. However, it is a fact. Sending help over there is a wise thing to do.

    • And a case or two would eventually spread here regardless of WHO is in charge, because we are never totally “in charge” of nature. But if the people who do not believe in science are in charge, the outcomes will be worse. The privatized, fragmented nature of our health care system, and the fact that many people are FINANCIALLY afraid to risk an unnecessary trip to the ER, makes it more difficult, but we will eventually find a way to contain it.

  8. I suggest People that (1) You, look with in-oneselves and do some Critical-Thinking about life in general and ask yourself, What? the hell is going on in America. Who? are telling the truth about the situation. Why? are these people running around trying to privatize the People’s Assets, How? come there are no one out there stopping this kind of take-over. Where? is our Democracy or was that all just a joke that some one has been playing on us. Wake-up people and take a check on What? the hell is going on in AMERICA. Anti-government, Greedy Capitalistic Pigs, GOP, Plutocracts in your States government,Non-DoNothingers Republicans,and Democracts Representives, ETCSSSS, You know Who? they are so VOTE their A**** OUT, OUT, OUT WE the People do not need that Garabage and that is What? Democracy is all about, FOR, BY, and OF the People Not some but A L L of our People. Thank You are the magic words in my book. I Love Ya A L L. Mr. C. E. KING

  9. The “Michelle’s a man” meme isn’t really new, the ODS crowd (especially birthers) have been peddling that story for months. It allows them to write posts laden with gay sex imagery ten times a day, obviously something they’ve been waiting a long time to do. 😉

    • Are you sure Magic?
      That I not what Joan Rivers commented just days before dying!
      Why don’t you do some serious research and come back!
      Grass is not good for you.

    • You forgot about Mrs. Robinson, who lives with the family and helps watch the girls. Or is she a hired actress? Is Michelle Obama really BATBOY from the Weekly World News? UN-inquiring minds don’t want to know ANYTHING!

      I remember they said similar things about Hillary Clinton in the 90s, and they probably will again in 2016, and even longer if she wins.

      Right wingers are obsessed with unconventional sex, but they don’t want to admit they just LIKE porn, so they look for EXCUSES to make up porn about people they don’t like. As the censors would say in the old days, we’ve seen this movie 15 times and we’re not completely sure it’s obscene, so we’ll have to see it again!

  10. Ah Mr. Fischer. Dana Carvey’s Church Lady was way funnier when she proclaimed “Satan!” and smirked at the camera. You, sir, are merely a pathetic ass.

  11. Really? Gomer Pyle from the least great state of Texas and his tea party cohorts are hitting the panic button over Ebola while screeching about the evils of “Socialist” healthcare? It was to be expected.

    • There is a contradiction there, isn’t there?

      But please don’t insult Gomer Pyle (portrayed by Jim Nabors). As written, Gomer was an innocent and decent, though undereducated, man with nothing but kindness for anybody, even his sergeant. Louis Gohmert is nothing like Gomer Pyle, except for the accent (and a Texas accent is not identical to a North Carolina accent, for that matter). Oh, and the character’s name Gomer is derived from a Biblical WOMAN’S name (as is Hagar the Horrible).

  12. The Obama administration found itself on defense Friday after former Defense Secretary Leon Panetta criticized the White House for its policies on Iraq, with the State Department and others publicly disputing his claims.

    Panetta chided the president’s team in his forthcoming memoir, excerpts of which have been published in the media. He alleges the White House didn’t try hard enough to strike a deal with Iraq in 2011 to leave a residual force of U.S. troops behind, in turn opening the door for the region to become a haven for the Islamic State.

    In newly published excerpts, he also criticized the administration over its policies toward Syria.

    But speaking with Fox News on Friday, State Department spokeswoman Jen Psaki claimed Iraqi officials simply did not want U.S. troops to remain after 2011 and no amount of extra prodding by the White House could have made the difference.

    “It wouldn’t have changed the circumstance we’re in today,” she said. “It would not have mattered. They did not want to have troops in Iraq.”

    Vice President Biden also appeared to take a swipe at the book during a talk Thursday at Harvard Kennedy School.

    “I’m finding that former administration officials as soon as they leave write books, which I think is inappropriate,” Biden said, to laughter. “No I’m serious — I do think it’s inappropriate. At least, you know, give the guy a chance to get out of office.”

    Despite Psaki’s comments, Panetta was adamant in his book that there was an opportunity to strike a deal with the Iraqis that could have kept U.S. troops in the country.

    He claimed Iraqi leaders privately wanted some U.S. forces to stay behind, though they would not say so publicly.

    “But,” he wrote, “the President’s team at the White House pushed back, and the differences occasionally became heated. … and those on our side viewed the White House as so eager to rid itself of Iraq that it was willing to withdraw rather than lock in arrangements that would preserve our influence and interests.”

    He said the negotiations with then-Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki went down to the wire in December 2011, but the White House never stepped up.

    “To my frustration, the White House coordinated the negotiations but never really led them,” Panetta charged, in excerpts published by Time. Psaki suggested that such a small residual force might not have made much difference anyway. She also repeated the claim — disputed by many Republicans in Congress — that few anticipated the security situation would deteriorate so badly.

    “No one anticipated that the Iraqi security forces would have been unwilling to fight,” she said. “Nobody anticipated that ISIL would be as strong.”

    The Daily Beast published additional excerpts of the memoir on Friday in which Panetta criticized the president for striking an agreement to shelve attacks on the Assad regime in exchange for him turning over chemical weapons — after Obama drew a “red line” on their use that Assad allegedly crossed.

    “The result, I felt, was a blow to American credibility. When the president as commander in chief draws a red line, it is critical that he act if the line is crossed,” Panetta wrote. He criticized what he saw as “hesitation and half steps” in dealing with Syrian rebels.

    Panetta, who worked in top positions in the Clinton White House, also described the Obama administration as far different in the way it operates.

    “Far more than in previous administrations that I’d witnessed-certainly more than in Clinton’s when I’d been near the center of the action-President Obama’s decision-making apparatus was centralized in the White House,” he reportedly wrote.

    Panetta also said he opposed the controversial trade of American soldier Bowe Bergdahl for five Taliban commanders at Guantanamo Bay. He said he did not believe the Taliban were “sincere” about reconciling with the Afghan government and, “I did not believe it was fair to trade five for one.”

    Panetta was director of the CIA from 2009-2011, and secretary of Defense from 2011-2013.

    • More books from you, I see. Does any of this crap have anything whatsoever to do with the article? I thought not. But you posted in the right place: THE WEEK IN CRAZY. Should National Memo add a another pageto this weekly feature for your posts?

      • Yes! This week in the Crazt Left. Are you saying Leon Panetta is crazy? I thought he was one of your heros. Or is that only when he’s marching in lock-step with Obama? Face it, even demos are diserting the sinking ship of this failed president, including Bill and Hillary.

          • IF I am a fascist, then you are a commie pinko fag. Which I am sure you are one of those anyway. You never could reason or learn anything, much less tell the truth. With that fractured moronic history you spew, all you prove is you are destined to move up rapidly, “in this week in crazy.” Well, “in this week in” stooopid!

            LMAO! at a total ass.

          • So you’re racist and homophobic. We already knew that.

            BUT, like I said, I did not vote for you, f*g.

        • Once again, I have no heroes in the political world; I realize this is difficult for you lunatics to grasp, but I’m not a delusional fanatic like you, nor do I have most of your other faults you attempt to project on me. I’m just someone who isn’t happy with the way things are politically, but enough in touch with reality to understand that Obama – warts and all – is infinitely superior to ANYONE the GOP has even considered for the office in decades (excepting perhaps John Houseman), head and shoulders above the GOP hacks and TP morons as well as many if not most of the Dems in Congress. I am also bright enough to realize that NONE of the DEMS have much to do with the “left,” except in comparison with the neo-Fascists you and friends seem to think are RINOs, who are so far to the right of reality as to be almost incomprehensible to sane and rational people. Obama is a centrist who more often than not falls in the right-of-center in the sane political world that is apparently forever closed to you and your friends, an admirer of Reagan more than of most liberal political figures. He may not always make the wisest decisions, but at least he’s THINKING – a revolutionary concept in today’s political world – with his brain (and a rather impressive brain, at least in the world of politics) rather than his testicles or a twisted gut as his immediate predecessors did.

  13. Speaking today in Joplin, Missouri, VIce President Joe Biden overstated the deaths there in the 2011 tornado by 160,839:

    “161,000 brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, grandparents lost,” said the vice president.

    But as Reuters reported in 2011, the death toll was in fact 161:

    The death toll from the May 22 tornado in Joplin, Missouri has been revised down to 161 with the discovery that one assumed victim died of other causes.

    The city said in a statement that Kenneth J. Henson, a resident of Ottawa County, Oklahoma, did not die in the tornado. Jasper County Coroner Rob Chappel discovered the error while he was helping other officials compile a list of tornado victims for a six-month memorial service, the city said.

    “Through this recent review, we are confident that the current list of 161 is accurate,” the city said. The city gave no explanation for the Henson mix-up, and Chappel could not be immediately reached for comment Saturday.

  14. Let’s stop the silliness about her being a man, and let’s talk about her thesis paper entitled “Racism”. Why is it sealed? I’d like to read it. It seems like creativity and originality is just radiating from it. LOL

  15. “[W]e have no way of knowing who might be carrying the
    decapitation virus.” We do however, have a pretty good idea of who is carrying the stupid and intolerant virus.

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