New Kids’ Book: God Didn’t Make Your Two Dads

Noted hate group The American Family Association never fails to disappoint. The virulently anti-gay organization has endorsed what Amazon reviewers have made clear is an offensive children’s book, God Made Dad & Mom, which tells the story of Michael, an adopted boy who takes a trip to the zoo to learn how God made people (and all animals) — with a mommy and a daddy. Apparently, this informative zoo outing neglected to provide all the pertinent facts about what daddy animals really get up to with other daddy animals.

After this failed fact-finding mission, Michael — who, as an adopted child of interracial parents is part of a “non-traditional” home — feels compelled to pray for the breakup of classmate Jimmy’s family, as his friend has been cursed with the immoral, unnatural situation of having two loving dads. “Dear Jesus,” implores little Mikey, “Please show Jimmy and his dads the truth about how you made them and how much you love them.” Here the clearly confused author tells us that Jesus — not God — made people, which would be one neat trick, considering that Jesus was a person. That theological oopsie aside, the takeaway is that God’s/Jesus’ love, in right-wing nutso world, is not unconditional as per the Bible, but is instead contingent upon one’s private sex life being deemed acceptable by conservatives with whom one is unacquainted — and the government.

AFA president Tim Wildmon, who along with his similarly gay-obsessed partner in (hate) crime Bryan Fischer, has vowed to keep up the fight against what he calls “Big Gay,” has given the book his stamp of approval — seriously, it’s actually stamped on the front cover, they’re so darned proud of this dubious honor — presumably because “the idea of two grooms makes [him] throw up.” Wildmon’s gag reflex is indeed admirable, as thinking about what those two grooms might be doing on their wedding night obviously takes up a great deal of his time.

Author Amber Dee Parker, a fresh-faced Stepford Zombie, explains the story in an insidiously sickly sweet, smug and judgmental drawl in the video below — which, unsurprisingly, doesn’t allow comments.