The National  Memo Logo

Smart. Sharp. Funny. Fearless.

Monday, December 09, 2019 {{ new Date().getDay() }}

Santa Cleared For Entry To U.S.

@AFP

Washington (AFP) – Santa Claus was officially cleared for entry into the United States as federal agriculture officials waived stringent livestock checks on his nine reindeer.

The U.S. Department of Agriculture announced in a light-hearted statement that a “Mr. S.Claus” of the North Pole was free to enter the United States with his reindeer from December 24 to December 25.

“During this season of giving, USDA wants to do everything in its power to help Santa,” said John R. Clifford, USDA’s Chief Veterinary Officer.

“We agreed to waive the normal application fees and entry inspection/overtime costs, provided he winks his eye and wishes port personnel a Merry Christmas at the time of crossing.”

Authorities also waived the normal health checks for Santa’s reindeer — provided they met certain alternative conditions.

“As a condition of entry, the reindeer must be certified by Santa Claus as never having been fed anything other than hay, sugar plums and gingerbread,” the statement said.

“The reindeer must also be individually identified with microchips or official eartag identification, and must respond to the names ‘Dasher’, ‘Dancer’, ‘Prancer’, ‘Vixen’, ‘Comet’, ‘Cupid’, ‘Donner,’ ‘Blitzen’ and ‘Rudolph’ when interacting with port personnel.

“No more than one reindeer in the group may be visibly affected by ‘Rednose Syndrome’, and upon entry, port personnel will visually inspect the reindeer to ensure they are healthy and fit for continued travel.”

The reindeer would also be required to be “pulling a wooden sleigh that has jingling bells attached and is filled with brightly-wrapped gifts.”

“Port personnel will clean and disinfect the runners and underside of the sleigh at the time of entry,” the statement said.

The USDA’s festive statement was in keeping with agencies who acknowledge the existence of Santa Claus, albeit with tongue firmly in cheek.

The North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD), which polices the skies above Canada and the United States, regularly tracks the progress of Santa Claus and his reindeer in realtime on its NORAD Santa Tracker (www.noradsanta.org).

Advertising

Start your day with National Memo Newsletter

Know first.

The opinions that matter. Delivered to your inbox every morning

Youtube Screenshot

Seven or eight months ago, many Democratic strategists feared that the 2022 midterms would bring a massive red wave like the red waves that plagued President Bill Clinton in 1994 and President Barack Obama in 2010. But that was before the U.S. Supreme Court’s radical-right majority handed down its decision in Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization and overturned Roe v. Wade after 49 years. Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell still believes that Republicans are likely to “flip” the U.S. House of Representatives, but he considers the U.S. Senate a toss-up.

Keep reading... Show less

President Joe Biden, Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson, and Vice President Kamala Karris

Youtube Screenshot

Newly-minted Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson will join the court — the first Black woman to do so — today when the new court term begins. And to say it plainly: I’m ecstatic about it.

Keep reading... Show less
{{ post.roar_specific_data.api_data.analytics }}