Rush Limbaugh would like you to wake up and smell the coffee.
On Tuesday, the talk-radio titan alerted us all to the fact that “The Dark Knight Rises,” the third film in Christopher Nolan’s Batman trilogy, is the product of a massive left-wing conspiracy. Should you have any doubts, simply note that Mitt Romney’s “evil” private equity empire is called Bain, while the main baddie in “Dark Knight” is — you knew it — BANE.
“The movie has been in the works for a long time, the release date’s been known, summer 2012 for a long time,” Limbaugh said. “Do you think that it is accidental, that the name of the really vicious, fire-breathing, four-eyed, whatever-it-is villain in this movie is named Bane?”
While The National Memo‘s Henry Decker predicted the awkward Bain/Bane parallels back in January, he never could’ve imagined that they would be noted in such a paranoid manner.
How deep does the conspiracy go? Here we’ve taken a look at some famous movies as seen through Rush Limbaugh’s conspiratorial eyes:
In “Terminator 2”, the T-1000 robot travels back in time to kill future revolution leader John Connor. To aid him in his task, he dresses up as a cop, and goes around shape-shifting and terrifying people. Clearly, this was a cheap attempt by director James Cameron to slander Mitt Romney’s future cop-impersonating escapes. How dare he?
Gordon “Greed is Good” Gekko is a Wall Street magnate who makes a ton of money through corporate raiding. Think that’s an accident? No. This is a left-wing conspiracy to portray future presidential candidate Mitt Romney’s business career at Bain Capital in a negative light.
In this 90’s classic, the entire world has flooded, and gangs of marauders survive on tiny floating villages. Though it was made in 1995, this movie is obviously a criticism of Bush’s mishandling of Hurricane Katrina. This is what happens when Republicans take office.
It’s a Wonderful Life
In “It’s a Wonderful Life”, Lionel Barrymore plays an evil, mega job-creator given the shaft by the middle class. Sound familiar? That’s right. This movie was cooked up by the same scheming liberal minds that brought you “The Dark Knight Rises”, solely for the purpose of getting Barack Obama elected.
Back to the Future
Back in May, the Washington Post reported that when Mitt Romney was a teenager in Cranbrook, he had a well-known reputation for bullying unpopular and gay kids, which sounds a lot like another character we’ve seen in movies before: Biff from “Back to the Future”. Sowing the seeds well in advance, director Robert Zemeckis finally reveals his intention in this 80’s classic: To prevent Mitt Romney from being elected by making bullies look bad.
After losing his job with the advent of talkies, foreign-born silent film star George Valentin refuses to self-deport back to his own country.
Have your own alternate interpretation for movies that would make Rush Limbaugh’s skin crawl? Email it to us at firstname.lastname@example.org!