This Week In Crazy: Another Awful Valerie Jarrett Conspiracy Theory, And The Rest Of The Worst Of The Right

Welcome to “This Week In Crazy,” The National Memo’s weekly update on the wildest attacks, conspiracy theories, and other loony behavior from the increasingly unhinged right wing. Starting with number five:

5. Glenn Beck

“I have a theory that is different than most, and I will be mocked for it,” Glenn Beck began on his radio show Monday. He’s certainly right about that.

Beck’s latest theory goes like this: The unstable situation in the Middle East is not a series of institutional crises in sovereign nations, but actually a “proxy war” between the United States and Russia. Which is, naturally, about to heat up. Yes, according to Beck, World War III is upon us.

Keeping in mind that Beck believes that President Obama will officially be a dictator in about three weeks, it’s pretty clear on which side he thinks America will be in the coming conflict.

4. Steve King


On Wednesday, Representative Steve King (R-IA) took a break from spinning his comments on DREAM Act drug smugglers and their cantaloupe calves to appear at an Americans For Prosperity event and partake in one of the Koch brothers’ favorite pastimes: lying about climate science.

Speaking in Fort Dodge, Iowa, King told the crowd that climate change “is not proven, it’s not science. It’s more of a religion than a science.”

“Everything that might result from a warmer planet is always bad in (environmentalists’) analysis,” King continued. “There will be more photosynthesis going on if the Earth gets warmer. … And if sea levels go up 4 or 6 inches, I don’t know if we’d know that.”

Setting aside the fact that almost everything King said is wrong, the nutty congressman may have actually been paying climate scientists a compliment. After all, given King’s strong feelings on defending his own religion from even imaginary enemies, maybe his new outlook will cause him to stand up for those who accept climate science. Or at least support giving them tax-exempt status.

H/t Think Progress

3. Mike Huckabee

Fox News host Mike Huckabee, formerly the governor of Arkansas and a 2008 candidate for president, celebrated the Islamic holy month of Ramadan the only way he knows how to.

During his Wednesday show, Huckabee responded to the recent threats against U.S. embassies in the Middle East and Africa by slamming Muslims as “uncorked animals.

“Can someone explain to me why it is that we tiptoe around a religion that promotes the most murderous mayhem on the planet in their so-called ‘holiest days,'” Huckabee asked. “You know, if you’ve kept up with the Middle East, you know that the most likely time to have an uprising of rock throwing and rioting comes on the day of prayer on Friday. So the Muslims will go to the mosque, and they will have their day of prayer, and they come out of there like uncorked animals — throwing rocks and burning cars.”

Absurd generalizations and derogatory language aside, one has to wonder why Huckabee is using the embassy closures as an example. After all, if he’d just listen to his Fox News colleagues, he’d know that the terror alert was merely an elaborate public relations ruse.

2. Texas Tea Party

Louie Gohmert2

Photo: Gage Skidmore via

As Texas’ demographics shift and the Republican Party alienates more and more Hispanic voters, much has been written about how — with just a few good breaks — the Democratic Party could turn Texas blue in the not-too-distant future.

Apparently, right-wing activists in Texas are eager to make that liberal dream a reality.

The National Review’s Betsy Woodruff reports that some Texas Tea Partiers are so upset that Senate Minority Whip John Cornyn (R-TX) won’t promise to shut down the government in hopes of defunding Obamacare, that they are trying to draft Congressman Louie Gohmert (R-TX) to challenge him in a primary.

Yes, that Louie Gohmert.

While Cornyn may be the second most conservative member of the Senate, he is apparently just not quite crazy enough for the Republican Party. Which is great news for Wendy Davis, Julian and Joaquin Castro, and every other Democrat who would relish the opportunity to run against a man who makes Todd Akin look like Daniel Webster.

1. Rush Limbaugh

After months of spinning their wheels with easily debunked conspiracy theories, the right has finally determined the horrible truth about the September 11, 2012 attack on the U.S. mission in Benghazi: It was all Valerie Jarrett’s fault!

Jarrett, the senior White House advisor you may remember from the times that she was accused of selling the midwest to China and bulldozing Ronald Reagan’s childhood home, is once again the target of a right-wing conspiracy theory — this time courtesy of Rush Limbaugh.

On his radio show Tuesday, Limbaugh cited a completely unsubstantiated blog post to declare that “Valerie Jarrett gave the orders to stand down in Benghazi!”

“Valerie Jarrett who constitutionally is not in the chain of command and cannot do that!” Rush raged, “And that’s why this, if true, is a bombshell!”

Of course, it’s quite blatantly not true. But that, naturally, didn’t stop the conspiracy theory from entering the Fox News zeitgeist — where it will probably fester until Darrell Issa returns from his summer vacation.


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