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Monday, December 09, 2019 {{ new Date().getDay() }}

Hello, fellow warriors against Christmas. Please take your seat under this non-denominational spruce tree, next to this avowedly un-sacred crackling December fire. Everyone have their mug of profane winter nog? Good.

Welcome to “This Week In Crazy,” The National Memo’s weekly update on the loony, bigoted, and hateful behavior of the increasingly unhinged right wing. Starting with number four:

4. Sean Hannity

Hannity gets a twofer this week.

On Wednesday, performing a postmortem on Tuesday night GOP debates, the Fox News host spoke with Sen. Rand Paul, specifically about his challenge to Donald Trump regarding the tycoon’s stated intention to attack the families of terrorists.

Paul explained that deliberately targeting children, bystanders, and non-combatants was contrary to American values, not to mention the Geneva Convention.

Hannity’s response: “I’m not so sure if I agree with all the Geneva Conventions.”

Hannity’s other memorable moment for humanity this week:

There’s a refrain we’ve heard time and time again when conservative pundits want to make excuses for the senseless deaths of unarmed men of color — “He’s no angel.” That line got a revamp when Hannity said of Freddie Grey, the 25-year-old black man in Baltimore whose spine was severed at the neck as he was being bounced around a paddy wagon unrestrained. “He was clearly not a pillar of his community,” Hannity said.

Hannity cited Gray’s “past arrest record” and “maybe the likelihood that he’s up to no good” as reasons why we should, presumably, overlook the fact that he was seen in a video recording, writhing in agony as we was being arrested, and that he slipped into a coma and died days later.

(Charges were brought against the officers involved. The first trial for one of them ended in a mistrial Thursday after three days of deadlocked jury deliberation.)

Hannity clarified that, for the purposes of the officers’ trials, Gray’s arrest record “doesn’t matter legally in the court — but it matters in reality.

For Sean Hannity, human life is really only precious in a narrow set of circumstances: You must be a pillar of your community, as he defines it, and you’d better be far, far away from any place President Trump might be itching to bomb.

Next: Carly Fiorina

3. Carly Fiorina

Carly Fiorina is simply not willing to give up on this one.

She gave, as you may recall, a spectacular performance at the second GOP debate, in which she condemned Planned Parenthood by describing a Grand Guignol scene of “a fully formed fetus on the table, its heart beating, its legs kicking, while someone says, ‘We have to keep it alive to harvest its brain.’ ” — allegedly from a sting “documentary” depicting illicit practices of the women’s health organization. Unfortunately, it is widely accepted now that Fiorina was describing a deceptively edited fiction. Widely accepted by everyone, that is, except Carly Fiorina

Still, given that the impassioned anti-abortion rhetoric gave her such a boost in the polls, and that eliminating women’s rights is such a crucial part of her campaign, it makes sense that the now flagging candidate would refuse to back down from it.

CNN’s Chris Cuomo challenged Fiorina to answer whether or not hers and other Republicans’ raging polemics might have inspired the deranged Christian shooter who terrorized a Planned Parenthood clinic in Colorado Springs, killing two bystanders and one police officer.

From Addicting Info:

Clearly tired of letting Republican candidates lie to his face with no consequences, something must have snapped. Fiorina had hoped that she could simply spout off her fact-free talking points and move on. Cuomo shut her down.

After reminding Fiorina that her lies have real world consequences and likely inspired the right-wing terrorist Robert Dear to go on a shooting spree in a Colorado Planned Parenthood, Fiorina lost it.

The GOP candidate tore into Cuomo, accusing him of using “left-wing tactics” to smear her, of having drunk Planned Parenthood’s Kool-Aid, and insinuating that he had failed in his duties as a journalist. She stood by her comments, and repeatedly alluded — vaguely — to the horrible wrongdoings of the organization, and maintained her conviction that the videos were not edited (they certainly were, as one of the anti-abortion activists responsible for the videos has recently admitted).

Fiorina called it an “admission” of guilt that Planned Parenthood is dispensing with its practice of asking for reimbursements to cover the costs of donating fetal tissue — a perfectly legal practice that unfortunately has given anti-abortion activists the ammunition to accuse them of profiteering.

Fiorina remains obstinately and willfully mendacious, despite the fact that a congressional probe and several state investigations into Planned Parenthood have all failed to find any criminal wrongdoing.

You can view video of her tirade below:

Via Addicting Info

Next: Rick Santorum

2. Rick Santorum

Republican candidate Rick Santorum got awfully feisty during the GOPeeWee debate Tuesday night. Sharing the stage with his fellow bottom-tier candidates, each languishing in the poll dregs, Santorum, presumably angling for a boost, said: “Islam is not just a religion; it is also a political governing structure.”

The former senator’s animus for religion in government is particularly risible when held against his own record of making the enforcement of Christian dogma upon Americans a touchstone of his campaign.

Earlier this year, Right Wing Watch assembled a comprehensive list of some of Santorum’s more egregious moves to impose his brand of conservative Christianity:

After coming up short in the [2012] presidential primary, Santorum got a job as the chief executive of a conservative Christian film company EchoLight Studios. He has used his new post to push the right-wing narrative that conservative Christians in America are facing widespread persecution as a result of gay rights, Obamacare and the separation of church and state. The way Santorum tells it, marriage equality is a threat to the freedom of speech and religion, and Satan is using universities, mainline Protestant churches and the government to extinguish conservative values.

Naturally, he plans to center his upcoming presidential campaign on putting Bibles in public schools, criticizing the separation of church and state and gay rights, and warning of Nazi-style, anti-Christian oppression in America.

In June of this year, he promised Glenn Beck that, as president, he would refuse to enforce marriage equality, laughably calling the Supreme Court’s Obergefell decision “tantamount to government establishing religion.”

Apparently, a Santorum administration would interpret the Court’s ruling that all couples be treated equally as a violation of the Establishment Clause: “If the government goes around and tells churches what they have to believe in and what their doctrine is, that is something that is a violation of the First Amendment,” he told Beck.

You can listen here; the tone-deaf hypocrisy is delicious:

A few weeks before that, he told Chuck Todd that he’d fight the Supreme Court on marriage equality — “of course” — claiming that Roe v. Wade was also decided “in error” and that “We’re not bound by what nine people say in perpetuity.”

No, rather, we’re bound by what Santorum thinks one man said 2,000 years ago — in perpetuity.

Next: Dana Loesch

1. Dana Loesch

The Blaze‘s Dana Loesch went on a shrill rant Tuesday against the godlessness and idiocy of gun control advocates, whom she likened to a bunch of “tragedy dry-humping whores.”

Her aria began by attacking the widely-publicized New York Daily News cover that excoriated GOP lawmakers for offering “thoughts and prayers” for those lost to gun violence, despite their record of torpedoing legislation that would actually do something to rein in gun violence.

Loesch affirmed that it was not the gun-loving conservatives, but rather the “Godless Left” who have “blood on their hands.” Between wiping flecks of rabid foam from her mouth, she accused liberals of being “illiterate,” mistakenly blaming the NRA when they should be directing their ire to the Department of Homeland Security. Liberals, she spits, should not get mad at Wayne LaPierre, whose integrity Loesch defends on the basis that he is “an older white guy,” but rather at “a younger black man,” Secretary of Homeland Security Jeh Johnson.

In other words, don’t blame the NRA for our senseless gun laws, which make it easy for any domestic terrorist, regardless of religious or political affiliation (if any), to acquire guns. They are beyond reproach, since, as Loesch plainly explains: “The NRA is made up of people who are just like me.”

So rather than accusing the NRA and the lobbying efforts of anti-gun-control advocates, we must hold accountable the DHS and a politically correct agenda that, per Loesch, “made the rule that said we’re not allowed to look at the social media activity of people who are unveiled and coming from hot bed areas of terrorism like Tashfeen Malik.”

This claim, which had been published in prior news reports, that Malik and Farook had used public forums on social media to broadcast their jihadist sympathies and intentions, was revealed to be false on Wednesday by the FBI. But the notion that the feds had been helpless to monitor such messages, their hands tied by “political correctness,” was the foundation for several protracted criticisms at Tuesday night’s GOP debate: Ted Cruz said unequivocally that “Political correctness was killing people.” Ben Carson said he would end the scourge of political correctness. “All jihadists are Muslims,” Rick Santorum said. “We need to stop worrying about offending some people and worry about defending our country.”

But back to Hurricane Dana.

Blaming the NRA for gun violence, she said, echoing a favorite fallacy of gun lovers, was like blaming AAA for fender-benders. (Please recall that a license, registration, and insurance are required to drive a car.)

Her diatribe, courtesy of courageous transcribing from Right Wing Watch, continued:

“[Malik] was fetishizing jihadism online but because Jeh Johnson was so obsessed with political correctness and so obsessed with optics — which I’m sure is going to be of great comfort to the 14 families who lost people in San Bernardino that day — I’m sure they’ll find great comfort in the fact that Jeh Johnson did all he could to make sure that DHS was beyond reproach in terms of politically correct optics.”

“I also have a major problem with all these tragedy dry-humping whores,” she ranted, “and I’m not watching my language because it’s about time somebody call you out for what you are. You sicken me.”

She proceeded to lay a series of domestic terror attacks — San Bernardino, Boston, Fort Hood, Chattanooga — at the feet of liberals and a feckless government that had failed to protect its citizens.

Of course, she gave no mention of Aurora, Newtown, Charleston, Roseburg, Santa Barbara, Colorado Springs, Littleton, et al. All terror attacks that were not influenced by radical Islam, and so whose victims are apparently less deserving of Loesch’s righteous outrage. Though to be fair, the government did little to protect its citizens after tragedies like those too.

Thanks in large part to the efforts of, as Loesch would say: “people just like me.”

Snowman illustration: Will Montague via Flickr

Next: Your vote counts!

Who wins This Year In Crazy?

What a year. The first nine months of the Republican primary race alone account for more inanity, head-spinning untruth, and backwards thinking than anyone could have expected or should have to endure.

We’ve watched science deniers start snowball fights on the Senate floor to disprove climate change and country clerks who would rather go to jail than let people get married. We’ve seen actual presidential candidates threaten to shut down the Supreme Court because God says so and court the endorsements of hate group leaders straight out of medieval morality plays.

Please add your vote to our year-end round up of 2015’s worst in paranoia, bigotry, and contempt for science, civil rights, and reality in general, for as Stephen Colbert so memorably put it: “Reality has a well-known liberal bias.”

In two weeks, we will assemble the top 5 for “This Year In Crazy,” based upon your votes.

If you need a reminder who any of these folks are, please visit the “This Week In Crazy” archives. And as always, thanks for reading.

Voting is now closed.

Check out previous editions of This Week In Crazy here. Think we missed something? Let us know in the comments! Get This Week In Crazy delivered to your inbox every Friday, by signing up for our daily email newsletter.

Jeff Danziger lives in New York City. He is represented by CWS Syndicate and the Washington Post Writers Group. He is the recipient of the Herblock Prize and the Thomas Nast (Landau) Prize. He served in the US Army in Vietnam and was awarded the Bronze Star and the Air Medal. He has published eleven books of cartoons and one novel. Visit him at DanzigerCartoons.