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Monday, December 09, 2019 {{ new Date().getDay() }}

Welcome to “This Week In Crazy,”  The National Memo’s weekly update on the wildest attacks, conspiracy theories, and other loony behavior from the increasingly unhinged right wing. Starting with number five:

Ed Orcutt

ed orcutt

Many Republican politicians have gone to great lengths to mislead the public about climate change, but few have offered up an argument as ridiculous as Washington State Representative Ed Orcutt.

As reported in the Seattle Bike Blog, Orcutt recently responded to a constituent who opposed a proposed bike tax by claiming that bicycling is not environmentally friendly. His reasoning? “You would be giving off more CO2 if you are riding a bike than driving in a car.”

“Since CO2 is deemed to be a greenhouse gas and a pollutant, bicyclists are actually polluting when they ride,” Orcutt added in an email to the constituent.

As The Raw Story points out, “Virtually all available science on the carbon footprint of driving versus biking says [Orcutt] is dead wrong.” Indeed, the European Cyclists Federation estimates that CO2 emissions from biking are about 10 times less than driving a car, even after accounting for all emissions required to make the bike and the food eaten by the rider.

Tedd Gassman

Iowa State Representative Tedd Gassman is one of seven Republican sponsors of a bill that would ban no-fault divorces for Iowan couples with children. According to Rep. Gassman, divorces are killing America. “If our families break up, so will our nation,” he reportedly said.

Gassman’s “evidence” is unassailable. His 16 year-old granddaughter, a child of divorced parents, may get “more promiscuous.”

“There’s a 16-year-old girl in this whole mix now. Guess what? What are the possibilities of her being more promiscuous?” Gassman asked. “What are the possibilities of all these other things surrounding her life that a 16-year-old girl, with hormones raging, can get herself into?”

Aside from making his next family reunion significantly more awkward, Gassman’s odd reasoning didn’t accomplish much. According to the Des Moines Register, Gassman’s bill will not advance in the Legislature this year.

Glenn Beck

Beck makes his near-weekly appearance on this list for his latest paranoid conspiracy about the gun safety measures supported by President Barack Obama. According to Beck, the government’s twin efforts on gun control and education can only mean one thing: the first black president is planning to reinstitute slavery.

If nothing else, at least the Empower Citizens Network has found a target audience in Beck for its hilariously ineffective campaign ads reminding viewers which party freed the slaves.

Pamela Geller

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Right-wing activist and hate group founder Pamela Geller is furious about not receiving an invite to this year’s Conservative Political Action Conference. Could she have been snubbed because she’s even crazier than such distinguished speakers as Donald Trump and Allen West?

No… according to Geller the explanation is much simpler: CPAC is “enforcing the Sharia.”

“But you see this is going on a long time, it took five years for the people to know but I think at this point people need to know just how deeply we have been infiltrated,” Geller said on The Janet Mefferd Show. “What are they doing at CPAC? Essentially they are enforcing the Sharia. Under the Sharia, the blasphemy laws, you cannot say, you cannot offend, you cannot criticize and you cannot insult Islam. That is effectively what they’re doing, they are enforcing the Sharia.”

Right Wing Watch has audio of her deranged claim.

If CPAC really is “enforcing the Sharia,” someone should immediately alert the GOP’s self-appointed Sharia cop Michele Bachmann, who is an annual star of the conference.

Accuracy In Media

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Cliff Kincaid, director of Accuracy In Media — a group made famous by its conspiracy theory that President Bill Clinton murdered Vince Foster, a claim so ridiculous that even Ann Coulter dismissed it — weighed in on the upcoming Papal conclave Monday. The results were predictably bonkers.

In an article titled “Black Socialist Pope to Follow Black Socialist President?”, Kincaid explains how President Barack Obama and George Soros’ allies plan to team up to “use the Vatican in a global campaign against capitalism.”

“Turkson, who is from Ghana, has taken ‘social justice’ to the global level, arguing for a ‘global financial authority’ to solve the world’s economic problems,” Kincaid writes. “For this reason, left-wing ‘progressives’ backing Obama hope Turkson will be the next pope and use the Vatican in a global campaign against capitalism.”

How will liberals finally vanquish capitalism once and for all? Through the United Nations, naturally. According to Kincaid, the UN will be used as a “point of reference” for implementing “a blueprint for a George Soros agenda.”

On the plus side, the black socialist president/black socialist pope alliance should end the right wing’s unfounded complaints about “Obama’s war on Catholicism” once and for all.

Danziger Draws

Jeff Danziger lives in New York City. He is represented by CWS Syndicate and the Washington Post Writers Group. He is the recipient of the Herblock Prize and the Thomas Nast (Landau) Prize. He served in the US Army in Vietnam and was awarded the Bronze Star and the Air Medal. He has published eleven books of cartoons and one novel. Visit him at DanzigerCartoons.