Welcome to “This Week In Crazy,” The National Memo’s weekly update on the wildest attacks, conspiracy theories, and other loony behavior from the increasingly unhinged right wing. Starting with number five:
5. Glenn Beck
Right-wing carnival barker Glenn Beck makes his triumphant return to the list this week, by sharing a slew of wacky theories on the developing situation in Syria (including, among others, that President Obama wants to launch military strikes to cover up the horrible truth about Benghazi.) But he claims the #4 slot for his Wednesday show, in which Beck marked the September 11 anniversary by flatly accusing the president of treason.
“That makes him a traitor,” Beck said of Obama’s threat to strike Bashar al-Assad’s regime. Obama “doesn’t think like an American, he thinks like a guy in the Middle East, he thinks like a foreigner,” Beck added, before asking “How dead inside does he think we are to ask us to go along with it on the eve of September 11?” You tell us, Glenn — after all, isn’t that the point of your “bizarre gift“?
4. Michele Bachmann
Photo by Gage Skidmore via Flickr.com
Although the 2016 election is still a political lifetime away, Republicans are going to extreme lengths to damage former secretary of state Hillary Clinton’s presidential prospects. According to U.S. Representative Michele Bachmann (R-MN), however, these efforts are a waste of time — because only God can keep Clinton out of the White House.
Bachmann shared her theory on Jan Markell’s right-wing radio show on Monday. When asked if Clinton would win in 2016, Bachmann replied, “I don’t at all, because I look at the story of David and Goliath. All David needed was one smooth stone to fell the giant. It wasn’t the stone, it wasn’t David, it was the strong right arm of a Holy God.”
“If we repent, if we cry out to God,” Bachmann added, “we have no idea what the Lord God will do for us in 2016.”
I suppose that a little faith can’t hurt Bachmann’s chances of stopping Hillary Clinton from being elected president. But given the congresswoman’s track record when using God as her campaign manager, she may want to look into hiring some professional help, as well.
Audio of Bachammn’s interview is available at Right Wing Watch.
3. Keith Ablow
Fox News psychiatrist Keith Ablow checks in at #3, for a September 11 “tribute” that makes Glenn Beck’s seem downright dignified in comparison.
Appearing on Fox Business’ Varney & Co., Ablow explained that Americans voted for Barack Obama because of a “Stockholm Syndrome” caused by the 9/11 attacks.
“I think what it set in motion is a kind of captive mentality. The same kind of thing that happens when a plane is hijacked and people aboard say ‘You know what? I am starting to think like the people who took this plane over,'” Ablow said.
“And I think that the whole Obama apology tour, the election of Barack Obama was a manifestation of us wanting to say, “Look, we are not that bad, don’t hurt us. Here is this guy, how bad can we be? He doesn’t even like us, he hates us and we are electing him president,” he added.
Stockholm Syndrome seems like a better explanation for Fox’s persistently high ratings than President Obama’s electoral success, but no matter. Video of Ablow’s appearance is below, via Media Matters:
Bachmann makes a rare double appearance on the list, for joining her fellow This Week In Crazy favorites, Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX) and Rep. Steve King (R-IA) in graduating from spreading irresponsible conspiracy theories to actively undermining U.S. foreign policy.
At the end of last week, the three stooges traveled to Cairo to meet with General Abdel Fatah el-Sissi, then held a press conference praising the government overthrow and crackdown against protestors he led. True to form, Bachmann led the charge to the fringe.
“We were cheering in front of our televisions back home in the United States,” Bachmann said of the violent upheaval, which killed hundreds and drew an official rebuke from the U.S. government. “We were cheering for you.”
Bachmann went on to falsely suggest that the Muslim Brotherhood was responsible for the September 11 attacks, saying “We’ve seen the threat that the Muslim Brotherhood posed around the world. We stand against this great evil. We remember who caused nine-one-one in America.”
King and the ever-incoherent Gohmert also offered their unconditional support for the military regime, with the Texas congressman even comparing el-Sissi to George Washington.
Video of the press conference, which can also be found in Secretary of State John Kerry’s nightmares, can be seen below via The Washington Post:
1. Alex Jones
This week’s “winner” is conspiracy king Alex Jones, who set a new standard for ridiculous Syria conspiracy theories when he warned that military intervention is part of a broader plan to replace the population with “a new species…of humans merged with machines.”
Let that one sink in for a moment.
On the September 10 edition of his radio show, Jones warned that a plan for Syria to turn its chemical weapons over to the international community is part of a plot to “set the precedent that [the United Nations] can come into any country they want, that has any type of weapons systems — and call them WMDs, and then dismantle that country’s infrastructure.”
But Jones didn’t stop there. “Everyone is going to be deindustrialized,” Jones continued. “Everyone is going to be put back in the Stone Age to be controlled, and then Obama, and the globalists, and the robber barons, they’re gonna fly around in their jetcopters, and their Air Force Ones, and their red carpets like gods above us, and they’re gonna get the life extension technologies.”
Jones then revealed what the now-immortal Obama and his robber baron allies want to accomplish from their jetcopters: “the extinction of almost everybody,” leading to the rise of “a new species of humans merged with machines.”
Audio of Jones’ exceptionally crazy rant is below, via Media Matters (he jumps completely off the rails around the 5:40 mark).
It’s tempting to dismiss Jones as a psychopath who makes Glenn Beck look like Walter Cronkite, but he actually has close ties to some influential Republican figures. Who knows, if Rand Paul is elected president in 2016, he may even invite Jones onto his flying red carpet.
Check out previous editions of This Week In Crazy here. Think we missed something? Let us know in the comments!