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There may be multiple Rafael Cruzes but there can be only one David Duke. Welcome to “This Week In Crazy,” The National Memo’s weekly update on the loony, bigoted, and hateful behavior of the increasingly unhinged right wing. Starting with number five:

5. Not David Duke

We have a live one here.

A man impersonating the former KKK leader David Duke filed a typo-plagued motion against Donald Trump in federal court, attempting to keep Trump from “participating in the presidential race due to [Trump] being a danger to American morals, values, systems and principles.” But moreover, would-be Duke says, Trump must not be allowed to seek the highest office because Trump stole Not-Duke’s “intellectual property” — and that “intellectual property” just happens to be a suite of extremist views.

Faux Duke writes in his motion: “Donald Trump stole my intellectual property and then claims he never knew me, he disavows me. I am the Republican who lead the way in opposing affirmative action, massive immigration and welfare exploitation and Donald Trump stole my ideas while he disavows me. […] Donald Trump seems to feel he is entitled to steal people’s ideas for his campaign and not give them credit, which is wrong, and I find that offensive. ” He continues:

After years of hard work I spent writing the book My Awakening about race and immigration Trump think she can dupe Europeans (sic) Americans and throw me under the bus. Now he is taking the credit for proposals that I created to help make America great again. Donald Trump is a copyright infringer. He disavows me, but his fundamental ideas that I introduced into the Party as a House of Representatives Member …. Donald Trump takes ideas and then disavows the people he borrows them from.

The full motion is reproduced below, courtesy of LawNewz.

The Duke imposter has created a nested doll of inanity here: He pretends to be one of our nation’s most visible and vocal emissaries of hate; espouses the notion that somehow the very notion of white supremacy is a Duke original, wholly created and under copyright by the ex-Grand Wizard; and then seeks damages from Trump for stealing said ideas; only to blast him for then disavowing them. (Trump did, in fact, after much dithering, disavow Duke’s endorsement of his campaign.) But the Duke doppelganger does get one thing right: “Donald Trump,” he writes, “is a patent troll.”

The actual David Duke was not amused. “That’s the biggest, dirtiest trick I’ve seen recently,” he told the Tampa Bay Times. “They’ve really gone into the depths, the enemy. That would be the perfect smear: ‘Even David Duke doesn’t like Donald Trump.’ ”

Hat tip LawNewz

Next: Augustus Sol Invictus  

4. Augustus Sol Invictus 

Oh, Florida — thank you for continuing to play the role of America’s gag reel.

One of the people vying for would-be GOP nominee Marco Rubio’s soon-to-be empty Senate seat is Augustus Sol Invictus (not his given name, believe it or not), who managed to snag some column inches away from the hectic presidential primaries this week thanks to the fact that this wannabe U.S. Senator’s neo-Nazi associations kept him from entering Canada.

Indeed, in 2014 Invictus, an attorney, represented a neo-Nazi during his appeal for a domestic terrorism conviction, according to FloridaPolitics.com

Invictus, who is the “most dangerous Libertarian in America” according to his website, had previously appeared in the news after admitting that he killed a goat and drank its blood as part of a pagan ritual.

AP also reported:

He admits he’s been investigated by the FBI, the U.S. Marshals and other law enforcement. He is confident they’re still watching him, in part for a series of YouTube videos and other writings in which he discusses government. He renounced his citizenship in one paper, and in another he prophesied a great war, saying he would wander into the wilderness and return bearing revolution.

Sunshine State, you do keep things interesting.

Hat tip Raw Story

Next: Rafael Cruz 

3. Rafael Cruz 

The Texas senator running for president is — as we’ve noted before — merely a chip off the old crazy block.

Rafael Cruz — who believes that public education is a decades-old secular communist plot to brainwash children, that Barack Obama should go “back to Kenya,” and that same-sex marriage is linked to godless socialism — remarkably gets wheeled into right-wing radio and television programs on a regular basis to dispense his wisdom.

Speaking to Breitbart News Daily Wednesday, the elder Cruz warned of the armageddonite dangers that await America should another “liberal justice” be appointed to the nation’s highest court. If a Democrat ever appoints another judge to SCOTUS, Cruz warned, “we will lose our right to keep and bear arms. We will lose all of our religious freedom. We will see abortion-on-demand to the day of delivery. We will see the destruction of traditional marriage, and the family is the foundation of society — if the family is destroyed, society will be destroyed.”

This is the kind of fringe lunacy that you would never expect to find on the campaign trail — or not. As we shall see…

Hat tip and audio courtesy of Right Wing Watch

Next: Ted Cruz 

2. Ted Cruz

Nobody quite sells the Christian persecution narrative with the unctuous, victim-baiting sleaze of Senator Ted Cruz.

To hear Cruz tell it, Christian Americans are living in an Orwellian hellscape — fearfully practicing their persecuted faith in icy, unlit corners of the Republic, where the All-Seeing Eye of Big Secular Brother cannot penetrate. “Religious liberty” legislation in this schema is the last bastion protecting Christians from an oppressive government — and not, you know, a license to ignore someone else’s civil liberties.

As Right Wing Watch has reported, Cruz has used his pulpit to pitch his preposterous fantasia about Christian victimhood many, many times — including suggesting, absurdly, that a Democratic Executive Branch could sic the FCC on Christian broadcasters and pull them off the air or that churches will lose their tax exemption because of this gay “jihad.”

Cruz predictably used his speech at CPAC to play up these familiar themes. “We are one liberal justice away from the Supreme Court ruling that government can take our religious liberty away and force every one of us to violate our faith on penalty of prison or fine,” he said. “We are one liberal justice away from the Supreme Court ordering Ten Commandments monuments torn down all over this country.”

One day Adam and Steve are tying the knot; the next thing you know, we’re sandblasting stone tablets.

You can view video of Cruz’s CPAC speech below:

Update: America’s Finest News Source tells us Cruz’s nightmare scenario may already be happening!

Hat tip Right Wing Watch. Video courtesy American Conservative Union.

Next: Alex Jones 

1. Alex Jones

Alex Jones, noted paranoiac, unleashed his latest torrent of high-pitched idiocy about the perils of vaccines on his InfoWars program this week.

Jones shamelessly uses as a peg for his diatribe the tragic death of the infant who attained Internet fame as “Bernie baby,” and passed away last week of SIDS at the age of four months.

In addition to his many, many other core beliefs — which include the notion that the armed forces invaded Texas last summer, the Sandy Hook massacre was a “false flag” operation, and that America’s savior Donald Trump is under siege from demonic foes — Jones is an anti-vaxxer. In fact, the dangers vaccines play a crucial role in Jones’ Grand Unified Conspiracy Theory (which I wrote about last year), involving the Pope, the U.N., and an international cabal of pedophiles using vaccines to sap children’s minds.

Jones’ latest rant — a “special report,” entitled “Would You Jump Off A Building With Your Baby?” — begins with him asking his audience to imagine pleading with a man or woman standing on a ledge, contemplating suicide, while holding a baby. “What would run through your mind?” Jones asks. “What would go through your heart — and your gut? You’d tell them to value their life, along with the life of their child.”

Jones proceeds to liken mentally disturbed people who murder their children to parents who inoculate. Vaccines, he says, are “the most important medical issue facing humanity today” and using them, he says, is tantamount to “certain death.”

You can watch the full “report” below.

Side note: Jones has come out in full-throated support of Trump, who has appeared on his show multiple times.

Image: DonkeyHotey via Flickr

Check out previous editions of This Week In Crazy here. Think we missed something? Let us know in the comments! Get This Week In Crazy delivered to your inbox every Friday, by signing up for our daily email newsletter.

"Performative patriotism" is a fancy way of describing what my father — a veteran of World War II who rarely spoke about his service — called "jelly-bellied flag flappers." Dad always laughed at those phonies, but we now suffer a president who is exactly that type, only worse. And Donald Trump's flag-flapping fakery is no joke.

A performative patriot is someone who, like Trump, oversells his supposed love of country, his reverence for the Stars and Stripes and, especially, his indignation at those whom he suspects of lacking his deep fervor. Such a figure will, like Trump, attempt to market these counterfeit emotions for his own benefit. And like Trump, that loud jingo is someone whose character will lead to a betrayal of American values.

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