During his re-election campaign, President Barack Obama repeatedly speculated that the “partisan fever” in Washington, D.C. would break after the 2012 presidential election. One year into the president’s second term, it’s quite possible that his prediction was crazier than anything you’re about to read.
Every week, The National Memo compiles This Week In Crazy, an update on the wildest attacks, conspiracy theories, and other loony behavior from the increasingly unhinged right wing. Throughout the year there were countless individual examples that literally dropped our jaws — Pat Robertson’s special AIDS rings, Gordon Klingenschmitt’s warning that militant gays are going to have sex in your house, or any story containing the words “Steve Stockman” come immediately to mind — but a few especially certifiable characters repeatedly stole the dubious spotlight.
So as you prepare to ring in the new year, we invite you to take one last, head-shaking look at the craziest of the crazy in 2013… here they are, This Week In Crazy‘s most valuable players!
Photo: cometstarmoon via Flickr
5. Bryan Fischer
Bryan Fischer, the director of issues analysis for anti-gay hate group the American Family Association, had an insane 2013. Between hailing Ted Cruz as a modern-day Prophet Elijah, insisting that President Obama was Photoshopped into the iconic image of his national security team watching the raid that killed Osama bin Laden, and warning that Michelle Obama invited “demons into the White House” by hosting a Diwali celebration, Fischer firmly established himself among the religious right’s most unhinged superstars.
Craziest moment of the year: Fischer outdid himself in July, when he warned that “Christians are being moved out of the United States military so hypermasculine homosexuals can move in, similar to the kind of homosexuals that formed Hitler’s stormtroopers.”
Prediction for 2014: Fischer will surely remain a This Week In Crazy mainstay throughout the Republican primary season — after all, someone has to protect the Liz Cheneys of the world from intolerant lesbian bigots. And maybe if we’re really lucky, we’ll get a sequel to the AFA’s horrifying children’s book, God Made Dad & Mom.
4. Erik Rush
WorldNetDaily columnist and frequent Fox News contributor Erik Rush may not have totaled the most appearances in This Week In Crazy, but he did manage to earn the most first-place finishes. Apparently, whatever the Obama administration has been sneaking into his drinking water is quite potent.
Craziest moment of the year: All of Rush’s conspiracy theories were deranged, even by the standards of this list — lowlights include his “report” that Valerie Jarrett sold the Midwest to China, and his repeated warnings that the president is conducting false flag operations (including the Benghazi attack, the Boston Marathon bombing, and the Navy Yard shooting) as part of his and Oprah Winfrey’s plot to start a race war — but nothing can top his theory that President Obama is a serial killer.
Yes, according to Rush, over the years the president has killed his closeted gay lovers, several people who knew the horrible truth about Obama’s birth certificate, and — for some reason we can’t begin to unravel — “first dog” Bo Obama’s trainer.
Prediction for 2014: Rush’s WorldNetDaily column after President Obama rigs the Oscars to secure a Best Supporting Actress award for Oprah will probably win This Century In Crazy someday.
3. Louie Gohmert
U.S. Representative Louie Gohmert (R-TX) may not have reached “terror babies” levels of crazy in 2013, but it was still a loopy year for Congress’ least coherent conspiracy theorist.
Craziest moment of the year: For most elected officials, it would be difficult to top comparing African-Americans to lesser prairie chickens, opposing laws limiting magazine capacities because he may have to shoot down a drone one day, or accusing the attorney general of casting aspersions on his asparagus. But most politicians didn’t take an unauthorized trip to Egypt to falsely insist that the Muslim Brotherhood was responsible for the September 11 attacks, and compare General Abdel Fatah el-Sissi to George Washington.
Prediction for 2014: With Michele Bachmann not seeking re-election, the path is clear for Gohmert to seize leadership of the House GOP’s unofficial crazy caucus. Meanwhile, John McCain will be quietly weeping for our republic.
2. Michele Bachmann
Of course, Rep. Bachmann (R-MN) hasn’t left office yet — and until she does, it’s almost impossible to imagine any other elected official topping her on a list of crazy people.
Craziest moment of the year: Bachmann offered a wide menu of unhinged theories from which to choose, including a warning that the IRS will stop conservatives from getting health care, an assertion that scientists could cure Alzheimer’s Disease in less than a decade (if only they weren’t so angry about high taxes), and a truly laughable claim that she did not utter a single factual inaccuracy during her 2012 presidential campaign. But they all pale in comparison to a July interview with WorldNetDaily, in which Bachmann claimed that a) President Obama stole the 2012 election by letting all Latina women under 30 vote; b) President Obama has a magic wand with which he will steal the 2014 election as well; and c) the only way for Congress to stop President Obama is to spank him.
Prediction for 2014: Bachmann will follow through with her threat to run for president of the Tim Tebow fan club, then drop out after her campaign staff is caught trying to buy Urban Meyer’s support. Not that the congresswoman really needs a new job — after all, we’re living in the End Times.
1. Glenn Beck
It wouldn’t be This Week In Crazy without the man who was deemed too far off the rails for even Fox News: Right-wing media superstar, and this year’s craziest wingnut, Glenn Beck.
Craziest moment of the year: Beck had the most appearances in This Week In Crazy by a wide margin, so it’s hard to narrow his insanity down to just one specific example. But with apologies to his questioning whether CIA director John Brennan is a secret Muslim traitor, his proposed cabinet for President Ted Cruz (featuring Secretary of State Louie Gohmert), his warning that America’s first black president is plotting to re-institute slavery, his libelous theory that the Boston Marathon bombing was a Saudi plot (leading to a cover-up even worse than Benghazi),and his insistence that Americans are unwittingly worshiping the pagan gods Moloch and Baal (among many other lowlights), Beck’s emotional description of America’s nightmarish dystopian future takes the proverbial cake:
Prediction for 2014: The new year will probably play out a lot like every other year for Beck: with nonstop predictions that America is collapsing, and that the Nazis are coming. It will probably be Cass Sunstein’s fault, and it will definitely be a good reason to invest in gold.
Check out previous editions of This Week In Crazy here. Think we missed something? Let us know in the comments!