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Monday, December 09, 2019 {{ new Date().getDay() }}

Welcome to “This Week In Crazy,” The National Memo’s weekly update on the wildest attacks, conspiracy theories, and other loony behavior from the increasingly unhinged right wing. Starting with number five:

5. Orly Taitz

orly taitz

Photo: FiredUpMissouri via Flickr

If you’re a California voter who wants an attorney general with an incredibly tenuous grasp of the law, and who still thinks that President Obama is a Kenyan sleeper agent, then I have some good news: Orly Taitz is jumping into the race!

As the California-based Orange Juice Blog reports, the “birther queen” has filed papers signifying her intent to challenge incumbent attorney general Kamala Harris (D) in her 2014 re-election race.

Taitz confirms the news on her website, with a message fit for a Nigerian prince:

this is my opponent CA AG Kamela Harris, former girlfriend of elderly SF mayor Willie Brown. Sign Orly Taitz for AG of ACa nominations, I need at least 63 signatures . Please, help me raise $6,250 for the candidate statement, which I need to submit to the SOS within 72 hours

You may be laughing, but California Republicans probably aren’t. Taitz is currently the only candidate opposing Harris, which should give her ample opportunity to accelerate the state GOP’s epic collapse with her genuinely crazy conspiracy theories.

Of course Harris, widely regarded as a Democratic rising star, would wax Taitz in a head-to-head matchup. But there is a silver lining for Taitz: She may not even be the birther running the most futile 2014 campaign.

4. Erik Rush

Erik Rush

Erik Rush returns to the list at number four, for reprising his greatest conspiracy theory in his latest WorldNetDaily column.

Rush, you may recall, believes that President Obama is a serial killer who has murdered everyone from his closeted gay lovers to his Portuguese water dog’s trainer. In his column, published Thursday, Rush reiterated this concern.

“It has also been widely hypothesized that journalists and government officials who have died under truly bizarre and unlikely circumstances were in fact murdered,” Rush writes, declining to mention that he is pretty much the only one hypothesizing this. But he wasn’t finished.

“At the same time, there have been revelations of this administration’s involvement in terrorist conspiracies and international crimes,” Rush writes, “some of which have their roots in Hitler’s Germany, wealth stolen by the Nazis during World War II and the long-held anti-Semitism of Islamists who actually worked with Hitler, as well as their protégés who are active today in international politics, government and finance.”

The horror! Thankfully, Rush has a solution for Obama’s Nazi/Islamist plot: Throw a(nother) coup.

“Fellow Americans and patriots, it is time to consider all of our options, and put a stop to this, as well as the political culture that allowed us to get to this point,” Rush writes. “You may already be aware of the organization of patriots and patriot groups that is currently under way, and that many disparate patriotic forces are joining to work together. This is a good thing.”

“The harder this regime pushes, the harder we must push back,” he adds. “The Founding Fathers may have been a minority, but we are not.”

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.

3. Bryan Fischer

Last Friday was National HIV/AIDS Awareness Day, which gave hate group leader and This Week In Crazy mainstay Bryan Fischer another opportunity to riff on his favorite topic: Evil gay people.

This time, however, Fischer’s argument was a little stranger than usual. Citing the disproportionately high rate of HIV/AIDS within the black community, Fischer — who believes that AIDS is caused by a combination of intravenous drugs and “cruising” gay men — argued that if you support “the normalization of homosexuality,” then you have “no compassion in your black heart for black males.”

That’s not a problem for Fischer, however; he supports making homosexuality illegal. Why? “Because I love black males!” he declared.

Sometimes, the jokes just write themselves.

2. Gordon Klingenschmitt

When it comes to ridiculous anti-gay rhetoric, anything Bryan Fischer can do, Gordon Klingenschmitt can do better.

The Colorado state legislature candidate returns to the list at number two, for sharing his latest justification for reinstating Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.

“Before civilizations crumble, the last thing to hit the fan is government-sponsored, government-forced homosexuality, sodomy, and pedophilia,” Klingenschmitt said on the Tuesday edition of his show. He was quoting from a press release issued by three retired military chaplains who are vehemently opposed to the concept of gay soldiers. And it just gets weirder from there.

Quoting former chaplain John R. Kauffman, Klingenschmitt continued, “Homosexuality is a combat divider, dividing one’s reason to live while taking breaks on the combat field to change diapers all because their treacherous sin causes them to lose control of their bowels.”

Oddly enough, Klingenschmitt declined to mention that little detail during any of his previous rants about “militant gays.”

1. Bernie Herpin

Bernie Herpin

Screenshot: YouTube

The July, 2012 Aurora movie theater shooting inspired more than its fair share of stupid, offensive responses. But this week’s “winner,” Colorado state senator Bernie Herpin (R), managed to top them all.

During a Wednesday hearing debating Colorado’s ban on magazines that hold more than 15 rounds, Senator Irene Aguilar (D) noted that the law would have stopped the Aurora shooter from legally purchasing a 100-round magazine. She then asked Senator Herpin, who was elected in a gun-focused recall election last September, if he agreed.

“As it turned out, that was maybe a good thing that he had a 100-round magazine, because it jammed,” Herpin said. “If he had four, five, six 15-round magazines, there’s no telling how much damage he could have done until a good guy with a gun showed up.”

Criticism of Herpin’s opinion that it was “a good thing” that the shooter had all those bullets swiftly followed.

“I’ve had a lot of thoughts since July 20, 2012, but never once did I think anyone was better off because the shooter brought a hundred-round drum into that theater,” Tom Sullivan, the father of one of the shooting’s victims, told KDVR.

Meanwhile, a lot of Coloradans are probably thinking that they’d reconsider the Colorado secession movement — as long as the new state promised to take Senator Herpin with it.

Audio of Herpin’s comments is available at KDVR

Check out previous editions of This Week In Crazy here. Think we missed something? Let us know in the comments!

Sarah Cooper

Screenshot from Twitter

Now that we know how badly Donald Trump screwed up his 60 Minutes moment – he couldn't wait for us to find out the usual way – all that's left is commentary. And who better to comment on any Trump interview than comic Sarah Cooper? She mimes both the president and Lesley Stahl with a manner suited perfectly to the topic: "How to climate change."

Never mind that this encounter actually occurred a couple of years ago. Nothing has changed, except that Cooper is here to deliver righteous scorn. You will enjoy, and meanwhile her lip-syncing serves the ultimate good cause of saving the planet from its would-be destroyer via World War Zero.

"I don't know why Lesley Stahl even gives Trump the time of day," Cooper wonders. Good question!

Click and chortle.