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Memo Pad

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Carl Hiaasen: The Most Useless University In America

May 29th, 2012 5:59 pm Carl Hiaasen

At a time when Florida’s 11 state universities are financially gasping, the Legislature and Gov. Rick Scott are throwing $50 million away on a whimsical new school that might as well be called Useless State.

It’s the work of a Lake Wales Republican named J.D. Alexander, who — sadly for taxpayers — chaired the powerful Senate Budget Committee.

Alexander is leaving the Legislature because of term limits, but as a going-away present he demanded that his colleagues fund a new university in his home district. And then he basically stomped his little feet and held his breath and huffily threatened to gut another school’s budget if he didn’t get his way.

And most of his fellow Republicans, including our governor, caved in like the phonies and wimps they are.

As a result, Floridians are paying for a new university that we don’t need, and is already millions over budget before the first class meets. It’s a foolhardy and very expensive mistake, and its name is Florida Polytechnic.

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  • johninPCFL

    Yep. Continued funding to the existing teachers from the existing university is required for the degrees issued this year to be accredited. Next year’s students? Well, not so much.

    How do you get students into a new, unaccredited university and at the same time raise tuition? Well, with state subsidies to start.

    JD Alexander may just be the biggest thief in the state, and Gov Scott loves him.

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/UHE4MJP5FHMFIEAOGEQHETUGDQ Rvn_sgt6768

      If JD is the biggest thief then where does Scott rank? A close second perhaps?

  • James

    That is just down the road from 5 other Universities and Community Colleges that are fully operational and accredited ?
    Another stupid Fla move .
    Let me guess all the Professors will come from Liberty University, the Bush College of Government or some other right wing College that teaches control of the Massses with Religion and the gun !

    • rmarqua2921

      I can’t even imagine any quality students attending this school, or any of our best companies hiring its graduates?

  • http://www.facebook.com/geronimo.schmidt Geronimo Schmidt

    I would like to see this story posted on the Miami Herald where it can be read by all those hardcore republicans that put Scott into office.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_SRF6YP2MHXVY4KTXM3WMOGZ5BA Jose T

    Congressional Pork Barrel Spending at its best–”ONLY IN AMERICA”

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1589411629 Al Redlhammer

    When will Florida voters realize that when you put a single party in power with an unbeatable majority, you’re going to get this kind of abuse ? This is embarassing on a national level and Florida, thanks to our Governor “Skeltor”, is quickly becoming a laughingstock !

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ford-Truck/100003735221640 Ford Truck

      Actually Florida has been a laughing stock for a long time…. since the Republican powers in Florida decided they had the right to overrule America’s narrow choice and gave the presidency to GWB, which resulted in disaster!

      • http://profile.yahoo.com/YPI4NVMAWGSK43SFUAL6OUISGA Bunny

        But who really had the last laugh ??? We are the ones that were stuck with Bush !

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ford-Truck/100003735221640 Ford Truck

    He looks like a racist skinhead! But then he’s Republican, so that would be pretty close to a racist skinhead!

  • Itsjustmeagain1

    If Florida wants a new and valuable school, why not a Maritime Academy in the sleepy port of Port Canaveral. Some points to consider:
    - An Academy, either a school under UCF, another State University or stand alone will employ well over 100 faculty and staff. There is plenty of talent available since NASA closed the Shuttle program. This location can leverage the talent of UCF, FIT, BCC and other schools.
    - 100 plus professional educators, a cadre of 600 Cadets and several hundred students will be a big boost to the East Central Florida economy.
    - The new Panama canal will create a higher demand for qualified Mariner officers. In addition professionals who will work shore side in fields like International relations, international trade, logistics and port management to name a few.
    - Interviews with current State School Academies show a shift in the demographics. New applicants are returning service members who want structure in a job and others looking for a change in their careers.
    - An Academy will create an opportunity for a Technical High School, with a core curriculum in training able body seamen for the maritime industry. Think of it, a High School program that guarantees immediate jobs for graduates other than McDonalds.

    If anyone knows Gov. Scott, please forward this to him.

  • karlaw55

    Only one of the many reasons I refuse to live in Forida.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Randy-Moore/544908302 Randy Moore

    Expect nothing but idiocy out of Tallahassee now being led by the our #1 Village Idiot, Rick Scott. We have 2.6 more years of his moronic tenure; the damage done to this great state by scott is without precedent. A corporate thief that bought the governorship, totally unqualified for the job. Scott is the biggest disaster to ever hit Tallahassee and there are plenty of candidates to choose from.

  • HKAnders

    Four pages, really? You couldn’t have fit this story onto one page?

    Rhetorical question. Of course you could have fit it onto one page, but that wouldn’t help you inflate your page views.

    Cheap, people. Cheap.

  • nupi32tls

    Look for Alexander to be hired as president of the new institution. We have a similar situation over here at St. Pete college. During the reign of Karl Kuttler, he (Kuttler) conspired with good ole boy,
    C.W. Bill Young, who brought home the bacon and created some sort of think tank [that does little thinking] and erected a palatial office on the Seminole Campus. If Young quits the Congress, we can look for him to establish himself as the head of the would-be think tank. Good ole Floriduh
    politics.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/XWNK5E33OIFUMQVAGQQA7GDM2M Bigspender

    Why is Rick Scott still governor of Florida? I thought he had already been outed as egg-sucking, chicken stealing gutter trash.

  • William Deutschlander

    When Florida Republicans elected Crooked Scott it became evident that ignorance prevails in Florida. Apparently the senile Republicans will back anything Republican just like the senile Republicans do in Washington DC and the other states where they control the majority.
    The 2010 Election sent our country so far backword, that it may be too late for Democracy to recover.
    Many people think of the Eisenhower Republican Party, however the Republican Party of the 2000′s is the Autocracy or Plutocracy Party leading to a Dictatorship!

  • Jordan Walker

    each and every elected official has his agenda and cronies.

  • ckibbey80

    I am sorry I have to call myself a resident of the state of Flora-duh. Our dear gov has done SO many stupid things…gut the general education budgets for elementary/high schools, killed the light rail connecting Tampa with Orlando, to mention a few. Then he couldn’t be found for several days awhile back…it turns out the Tampa Bay Times tracked him down…he was visiting with the Coch brothers in Colorado! And, now, we have to endure the convention in August. This state is a mess! And then they still vote Republican…God give me a break!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Wade-Stanley/1469883069 Wade Stanley

    This is a microcosm of the national Republican party’s “Good Ole Boys Club.” If the country continues down the road to oligarchy this is what we can expect on a national level. The tax payers will be funding many useless public projects just so the corporations can make big money.

  • ObozoMustGo

    Democratic National Convention Schedule released by WikiLeaks!

    Democratic National Convention Schedule
    4:00 PM – Opening Flag Burning Ceremony
    4:05 PM – Singing of “G_D___ America” led by Rev. Jeremiah Wright
    4:10 PM – Pledge of Allegiance to Obama
    4:15 PM – Ceremonial ‘I hate America’ led by Michelle Obama
    4:30 PM – Tips on Dodging Sniper Fire – Hillary Clinton
    4:45 PM –Al Sharpton Leads Castrati Choir in Singing “Great Balls of Fire”
    5:00 PM – UFO Abduction Survival – Joe Biden
    5:30 PM – Eliot Spitzer Speaks on “Family Values” via Satellite
    5:45 PM – Tribute to All 57 States
    6:00 PM – Joe Biden Delivers 100,000-Word Speech Featuring 23-Minute Question and 2- Hour Answer
    8:30 PM – Airing of Grievances by the Clintons
    9:00 PM – Bill Clinton Delivers Rousing Endorsement of Obama Girl
    9:15 PM – Tribute Film to Freedom Fighters at Gitmo – Michael Moore
    9:45 PM – Personal Finance Seminar – Charlie Rangell
    10:00 PM – Denunciation of Bitter Gun Owners
    10:30 PM – Ceremonial Waving of White Flag for IRAQ, & Afghanistan
    11:00 PM – Obama Energy Plan Symposium /Tire Gauge Demonstration
    11:15 PM – Free Gov. Blagojevich rally
    11:30 PM – Obama Accepts Tony and Latin Grammy Awards
    11:45 PM – Feeding of the Delegates with 5 Loaves and 2 Fish – Obama Presiding
    12:00 AM – Official Nomination of Obama by Bill Mahre
    12:01 AM – Obama Accepts Nomination, declares that the Kenyan thing was a distraction, he was really born in Bethelehem
    12:05 AM – Celestial Choirs Sing
    3:00 AM – Biden Delivers Acceptance Speech
    ==================================
    OPTION: Closing with a Declaration of War on the rich To be decided just before the Convention

  • jnap

    Our GD Governor does one thing and does it well; funnels taxpayer money to his friends. The bastard should be in prison because he was the CEO of a company that defrauded the Medicare system of more than 1.2 billion dollars; which also happens to be the largest Medicare fraud ever committed, Instead of screwing the citizens of the State of Florida he should be doing hard time and getting screwed himself.
    I don’t understand the why we can’t prosecute the financial criminals in this country.
    If you or I stole two dollars they would want to put us in prison.

  • jnap

    Obozo why do you boor us with your stupidity. Please find a site that likes people with third grade mentality. You are, in addition to being boring, very tiring with your comments that have nothing to do with the subject.

    • metrognome3830

      Obozo ain’t stupid. He just likes to twist your tail and get you all riled up. If you are the type that gets upset over his posts, it is best to just ignore him. Actually, I think his DNC schedule is quite amusing. There isn’t one shred of useful fact in it, but it is amusing. Actually, I think he could have a great career as a comedy writer. It would pay better than being a Tea Party shill. Those Tea Party people are notoriously stingy.

  • jnap

    Obozo why do you boor us with your stupidity. Please find a site that likes people with third grade mentality. You are, in addition to being boring, very tiring with your comments that have nothing to do with the subject.

  • cehill1

    I have lived in in six states, including presently in fForida, four diffierent countries, through ten presidents and countless Mayors and Govenors. Never in all my life have I seen such pitful leadership as I see in this state. We have set the trend in stupidity, donderheadness, and out right shameful disregard for the people of a state.

    Our education systems is none existence. Our prison system has become a shambles in caretaking and control. First responders are last. The list of degradation of our system is endless.We are last or near in so many categories, it’s appalling. Fortunatley, the only way we can sink lower is to add a 51st state, which I strongly believe, we’d match that goal too.

    It seems as if our illustrious leaders have set very low goals for our state and are relishing in the fact they have been high achievers in reaching these goals.

  • dtgraham

    This guy (Scott) once had his company convicted of medicare fraud and paid the largest corporate fine in U.S. history. He later gets elected governor in a state with such a large percentage of seniors living in it. Huh? I’m sorry, but I just don’t get that.

  • Clarpark24

    God, I love to read Carl Hiaasen. It’s clear what needs to be done: a constitutional amendment barring anyone with “Scott” in their name from being elected governor of anything.