Welcome to “This Week In Crazy,” The National Memo’s weekly update on the wildest attacks, conspiracy theories, and other loony behavior from the increasingly unhinged right wing. Starting with number five:
5. David Moore
Among certain conservatives, there is a feeling that we as a nation have lost our way. How can we rescue our country, this beacon of light, from becoming a modern-day Sodom?
One state lawmaker, Montana Rep. David Moore (R-Missoula), has the answer: We must forswear yoga pants and renounce Speedos. We have lived (and exercised) in tight-fitting sin for too long.
Moore introduced a bill Wednesday to the House Judiciary Committee that would amend indecent exposure laws to prohibit clothes that reveal too much of the human form. Specific targets include the nipple — for any garb that exposes the nipple is an abomination — as well as the buttocks and pelvic regions, for clothing that “gives the appearance or simulates” the dreaded nethers is, too, an abomination.
This comes just over a month after the Montana legislature approved a list of new dress-code guidelines, advising women to “be sensitive to skirt lengths and necklines.”
With no discussion, save for some chuckling, lawmakers swiftly tabled the bill.
But Moore is a stalwart champion in the war against indecency, and we doubt he will be easily dissuaded from his struggle against skin. He has been quoted as saying that “yoga pants should be illegal in public.” And this has been a crusade of his ever since a cavalcade of nude bikers charged through his district. To this noble enemy of elastic, this defender of decorum, David Moore, we salute you. Godspeed.