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Speaking to a crowd of 12,000 yesterday in West Virginia, Donald Trump paused to invite leaders of the West Virginia Coal Association on stage to thank them for their recent endorsement. Chris Hamilton, the association’s president, brought a gift up for Donald. “I love this. See I come here, I get an award!” Trump said, his excitement bordering on irony.

“It’s probably a hat — It’s probably a hard hat! I like hard hats, let’s see if it’s a hard hat!”

It was a hard hat — one that Trump donned, treating his audience to a lecture on the sorry state of post-regulatory hairspray strength.

“My hair look okay? I got a little spray. Give me a little spray,” he muttered.

Hairspray is essential to keeping his natural hair resistant to the the ruffling of things like ceremonial hard hats. And thus, essential to his campaign, and to his image as the New York billionaire, condescending to coal country, vowing to fight in their shared interest against burdensome government regulations — on the harmful emissions produced by the coal industry, and on the chlorofluorocarbons that used to be in hairsprays and other aerosols, until they were banned in the late ’70s.

Trump has said he would roll back environmental protections in extreme ways.

Video: YouTube user “Max Rid”.

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